Originally Posted by kir
I wonder if it's ok for me to ask a related question in this thread.
We have some household help - basically someone who cleans up the floors and the kitchen every day (This is common by indian standards...i know it sounds insane to have all this in the US....i've kinda gotten used to it...). Now, i can ask this woman to do more stuff -- hang all our diapers out to dry, do some food preparation, etc.
Do you think that, once i have these twins in december, i'll need MORE help?? The housework will be taken care of, and the basic issue will be my being alone most of the day with two babies.
Will you have family/friends available to help you with baby care the first few weeks? The housework help you already have will do wonders for you (I think everyone ignores it, but it tends to get to you, so nice to not have to catch up!), but if you can afford it or you can get loving help from friends and family please take advantage of it! You will be exhausted, you will be recovering from birth, and you will have two newborns--I think that no one who's not lived through that can fathom how exhausting that can be (and exhilirating too, don't get me wrong, but...). My MIL (who I am closer to than my own mother) lived with us for 6 weeks after the boys were born and she was a wonderful blessing. My eyes are welling with tears just thinking about it. She lovingly cared for my 17 mo. old AND me during that time, so all I had to do was nurse, rest, and bond with my boys. She made sure I took my medication on time (I had a lot of pain issues, not from the birth, but from some complications from my pregnancy), made sure I was eating enough every few hours, wiped my tears as I started to come down off the hormone high, made sure I always had a pitcher of ice water by my side. And it was nice to have another pair of arms available as I got the hang of tandem nursing, and when I wanted to get a little mama-boy time with one baby. If you can at all possibly have a close friend or someone you trust do this for you, it is best. But finding someone who is willing to cuddle babies and baby/pamper mama, as a grandma or mentor figure, if you can possibly find that you will not regret it. Or even just someone to help you cuddle and hold your little ones.
Is it something you *need*, no, you will flex your mama muscles like never before and you will cope regardless. But if you CAN I certainly recommend it! I am so excited that one of my friends is due very soon and trusts me enough to allow me to be a frequent guest in her home so I can pour love into her like love was poured into me. (Even though I was a bottomless pit those first 6 weeks!)
Also, I wholeheartedly agree with hotmamacita--if you can find a multiples club in your area, please do! Many times they are a wonderful resource for other twin mamas. There you will find loving women (at least a few!) who will want to "pay back" the care they received and who understand and can offer advice and a shoulder to cry on if you need it (and meals! and companionship! and recommendations for helpers in your area!).
I think that it helps mama immensely if she has strong support during the neediest newborn time. After you get your bearings, then even though it is scary the first time you "fly solo" you can do it, but it would be wonderful to have some training wheels first, KWIM?