Are you planning on finding out the sex or being surprised? - Page 2

[Naughty Dingo]

Kat, that is really cool that the hospital presented it in a non-neutral fashion. Very good

I have been convinced that we were having boys both times. The first time DP wanted to Circ. and I hadn't learned much about it. The second time we read and discussed and decided not to. Of course, out popped two surprise girls :LOL

In both pregnancies my very first vibe was girl, and then everything else I felt pointed to boy. By the end I was totally convinced. This time, I am thinking girl, but my very first inkling was boy. We shall see won't we?

I have had two friends whose ultrasonographer saw a penis and scrotum on the US, and then went on to have beautiful baby girls. How crazy is that?

ND

[boingo82]

Originally Posted by NYCVeg

I've been compiling a whole folder of info on circ (including photos and some info on alternative baby naming ceremonies). I think it will just be harder for him b/c HE'S circumcized. That is, I think it will be difficult for me to explain why I think it's wrong without somehow making it seem like I think HE'S defective (or that his parents--and mine, for that matter--are somehow butchers). Uch...what a mess. ..

With our first, DH initially wanted to circ.."because that's what you do" and "Of course we would, I am".
I just approached it as a "they used to think it was necessary, but now we know it's not any healthier" thing...I never said anything about intact being better or worse just that if we could avoid the worry and the pain, why not?
Of course, we are not Jewish, but maybe you can try a tack like that - not making him feel inadequate or anything, just saying, "they're about equal, so why not take the less painful one?".



We don't know if we're finding out gender...don't know if we will have a U/S. I want to have midwife instead of OB/GYN care so I think an ultrasound is less likely. I want to KNOW, but I want to be surprised also. :LOL

[Peppamint]

We're planning a homebirth and I really hope to avoid stepping even a toe in a doctor's office (I'm so over doctors these days ) so I won't be having an u/s. If I did we still wouldn't find out the gender.

We found out the gender of #1 and #2 as dh wished so this time I get my way.

BTW... so far I'm guessing boy because the hair on my legs is growing really slowly while my armpits grows at the normal rate. Just the way it did with ds.

[LBW]

I did last time and am pretty sure we will this time. I'm just too impatient not to find out!

[JayGee]

We won't. I LOVE the anticipation of the surprise! Plus I already have one of each so there are plenty of boy or girl baby clothes ready to be put back to use.

[Sydnee]

We will not be finding out, we didn't find out with the girls either.

NYCVeg- We'll be in this together!!! We haven't had the whole circ discussion yet, but I was THRILLED that My Mothering mag that came in the mail this week, has a good 3-4 pages on circ!!! :LOL And if I have too, I will get vidoes, books, etc. to prove my point. :LOL

[Bkwyrm]

I'll find out - my father's younger brother had Down's, so we're going to do testing to find out if the baby is likely to have any problems. Plus, we're also the type of people who peek in the closet for an early look at Christmas presents. VERY impatient.
(I think it's a boy.)

[Naughty Dingo]

Bkwyrm, this is totally OT but I LOOOOOVE Terry Pratchett :LOL

ND

[ChattyCat]

Amanda- We're Jewish too, and with ds it was a 6 month long discussion. In the end, we did circumcise for religious reasons. We had a mohel (who was also and anesthesiologist) come to our home for the ceremony. We interviewed a few mohels, before settling on the one we chose. Ds wasn't strapped down, he was held by a family friend. We felt good about it, because we knew since the mohel was an anesthesiologist, ds would feel as little pain as possible, and I was able to nurse him right away to comfort him, since we were at home. I know that many on this board will disagree with our decision, but it was not made lightly. Good luck. It's a hard decision to make.

[alexisyael]

We're finding out, for exactly the same reasons Amanda is.

I'm also kinda hoping for a girl just so we don't have to get into the circ debate with our families (and all my friends), but with us it's the other way around: DH's mom (who is Jewish) is adamantly opposed to circ and has already threatened to raise a ruckus about it. We're more observant than she is, tho and feel strongly that circ is a valid religious custom. (I am anti-routine circumcision, but religion bypasses this question for me.)

We'll also be looking for an at-home mohel, if we are blessed with a boy. They cut less off than regular circs, too, is what I hear.

I don't talk about my views on religious circ on MDC much, obviously. Not a popular opinion. But there you go. I'm not ashamed of my religion -- I choose it freely, as an adult, and part of the conversion process entailed making the decision that my future children would be Jewish. So, it's already been decided, in my mind.

[NYCVeg]

momma2emerson and alexis...it's actually reassuring to hear other people have the same difficult decision-making process (one way or the other). As you say, alexis, even though it doesn't get talked about much here, people who are Jewish/Muslim do have very real, competing feelings and pressures on both sides of the issue. Hmmm...I may be pming you both in, oh, 14 1/2 weeks or so.

[Danesmama]

I voted yes because we found out when I was pregnant with both of our boys, but we're not 100% sure we'll peek this time. I may not be able to resist, though because if it's a girl there are a lot of clothes I would like to buy for her :LOL

On the more serious subject of circumcision, both of my boys are circumcised and not for religious reasons. I tried to argue agains circ w/my dh, but he made a strong case for me to follow his wishes on circ.

For those that are considering circ for religious (or any) reason - just do a little research on the person who does your circ. My second ds slept through his circ, which I totally attribute to our doctor's skill and the use of anesthetic.

[strawberryprincess]

we're going to find out. also impatient...but i figure it's a surprise no matter what, whether you wait only 20 weeks, or wait 40 weeks. but i'm also a bargain shopper and there have been plenty of very cute boy clothes taht i've had to pass up cuz i just don't know for sure (i've got a strong feeling it's a boy..we were right the last time, so i trust it this time )

also, if it's a boy we will need to have the circ discussion. i don't think he'll have a strong opinion on it, one way or the other...not to make dh sound like an idiot, but a few years ago, he didn't even know he was circed! i had to tell him :LOL evidently he never compared (at least not with someone who wasn't) i guess he just thought that's how they are naturally.

i'm glad he's not afraid to appear dumb in front of me

[Peppamint]

I didn't mention circ in my previous post, but our ds is circ'd. Not sure if that will happen again since I personally wouldn't circ if it was up to me but dh was adamant with ds... and yes, I gave him ALL the the current information and yes, he watched a video of one being done. I did insist that he comfort ds during the surgery in the ped's office (ped showed him how to let ds suck on his finger), he made sure the ped used pain relief and of course once it was done I came back in the room and nursed him (while I cried ). It healed quickly and he didn't seem to suffer any long-term effects like colic, crying etc thankfully... if he had it would have really made things bad in our marriage since I was so against it.

I find it strange and ironic to choose to circ for non-religious reasons (I don't consider my Christianity a religious reason to circ) after having an all natural homebirth and not vaxing etc, but that's the way things worked out last time and might work out this time.

I don't mention it (ds being circ'd) much online because my feelings get hurt, but I am married and consider it a partnership. I make so many of the decisions in our family that I want to give dh some say when he has strong feelings about something. Our disagreement on circ caused a rift in our marriage and a lot of stress on myself that manifested itself in physical problems while I was in the final days of my pregnancy so in the end I compromised.

I do honestly wonder if dh will want to circ again after witnessing ds being circ'd. I guess we'll see if he makes the arrangements after the birth if it's a boy. And of course, I'll be sure to leave the pregnancy edition of Mothering with the circ article in the bathroom so he'll end up seeing it when he's on the throne.

Enough of my

[alexisyael]

Michelle

Amanda, feel free to PM me I know Jews who have made the decision both ways. It is a hard decision to make.

We talked with our (new, since we just moved here) Rabbi today, and yay, he's not only willing but excited to do a baby-naming ceremony if we have a girl! Yay!!!

[KellyandKatie]

No Way

No U/S for us! With our first we had an U/S but still did not find out till she was born. To give you an idea how weird i am, this is what I was thinking as I was finding out if Katie was a girl as I had just had her.
I was holding her with my DH, the staff assumed we knew so no one said anything. I started to ask " Is it a.... " but stopped becuase I felt terrible that I would be more concerned with what sex my baby was, and that would be the first thing I would ask about my baby as a new mother - so I finished the question teh best I could having just had the baby " is it a baby?"
everyone thought I was just a little goofy from the delivery, but I really was thinking... SO That is what my first question to Katie was as she entered the world... what are you?

[RedPony]

I'm not having any ultrasounds. The suprise, definately! :LOL

[FireWithin]

We tried to find out if ds was a boy or girl. We really wanted to know, but he kept his legs tucked up.
When ds was born, his gender seemed inconsequential. The joy was just about holding our precious, beautiful baby. (I am not arguing that other mamas feel otherwise). So for me, Iknow I would experience a greater quantity of fun and excitement finding out earlier (partially for bargan (sp?) shopping.) So if we can find out, we definately will, and will look forward to the hours of daydreaming about our little Stella or Eli.

[newmainer]

we're undecided...we didn't find out with dd, both because we didn't want to and also because we didn't have the u/s at 20 weeks.

this time i definitely want the u/s... just for peace of mind. having a child already, i feel like the implications if we have a child with downs or another disability is a bigger deal- both for her life and ours. as for the gender... i'm on the fence. part of me wants the experience of knowing this time since i didnt' last time- just cause it would be different. but then i think i'd be bummed if i found out. so, we'll see. might be one of those in the moment decisions.

either way... we're not telling names!!

has anyone else heard that thing about ph and gender? (the post on vegetarians having more girls...) because gender is determined by the chromosomes the sperm carries i can't see how ph makes a difference... though i know that "girl" sperm live longer in the vaginal canal than "male" sperm and so perhaps the ph makes a difference and that's why.

[Vanessa]

We'll be finding out. As someone else said, we're the kind who peek at Cmas gifts.

Although I am definitely anti-RIC, I can feel for those of you who are Jewish. There are lots of decisions that I make based on religious reasons myself, so it would make the decision much harder for me.

As for us, my dh was circ'd, but was opposed to it for our children. He just felt it wasn't necessary and wasn't the right thing to do. I never really thought too much about it, but my inclination was towards not doing it, so we didn't. (I had read several books on female genital mutilation, and was a little wary of any uneccessary changes although they aren't the same thing.) My bros weren't circ'd either. After I had a child, I learned much more about what it really was.