What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? - Page 8

[kater07]

Ya know what?

It wasn't an ex-boyfriend who called me "FATTY" It was my SISTER.

When I was 4 months PG and barely showing compared to what I looked like at 8 months, my sister came to my house for a Stamping/Scrapbooking party. I had a house full of ppl and she walked in with her friend and said "hey fatty how you doing?" "Wow, you really are a tubbo"

She then later asked me to come to see her at the zoo where she works and I made her promise that she'd NEVER EVER say anything like that again. She tried to tell me that she never said it, but ALL my guests heard her and were once again reminded of what a witch my little sister is.

She also told me, right before I got PG, that I'd be a shi**y mother and that she hoped I couldn't get PG . We'd been ttc for 15 months at that time and hadn't told a soul. I was sooooo hurt and threw her out of my house without telling her that we were TTC and what a long road it had been already.

How that for dumb and mean!

Katie

[Eosine]

kater07, I'm sorry to hear your sister is such a cad!! I would hope she smartens up when around your child! My mom's behavior is actually even more shocking, and I don't allow her around my kids at all. She says stuff like so and so is molesting my kid and uses very graphic language to say it (not to mention that the guy has never seen me or my kids & my mom has schizophrenia), and says my kid has to hear it. So she is not allowed near my kids and scare them that way!

Also, there is a show on TV called "Girls Behaving Badly" and they had a stunt they pulled on people in a cheese shop....they had men and women sample some "special cheese" after they got their reaction to the cheese, they told them it was made from breastmilk, and then showed a picture of some woman from a foriegn country....oh, you should have seen the people's faces when they heard this

I loove that!
I can't believe they think cow's milk is so not gross, but that breast milk is so very disgusting that they spit it out!

There was a time that the Japanese thought drinking cow's milk was disgusting and wouldn't ever try eating ice cream!


My baby is a little over 3 mos now, and my mil is trying to convince me to give dd juice diluted with water. Yeah, like tap water is so great and juice is sooo much better for a kid than bm!

[JesseMomme]

Finally remembered some things, lol

When I first found out I was pregant with my first, my MIL said to me, to my face, twice "Well I hope that you have a miscarriage/God takes it away because you two (Dh and I) wouldn't be fit parents"
When she had the nerve showed up in the NICU when my son was a week old (lung punctured at birth, on a respirator, pulmonary hypertension) without warning you bet it was all I could do to hold my tongue, seeing as how a NICU isn't the place to blow your stack.
Never mind the evil things people can say to you...how about the evil things people can DO to you??
That same MIL called CPS on me 5 days after I gave birth to my third at home because I was "denying him medical care"!!! AHHHHHHHHH! What an abupt end to a blissful babymoon. I was forced to take my perfectly healthy newborn (She claimed to CPS worker and to all of her friends that he was too red (all of my babies were red) and he wasn't breathing right : ) to the emergency room to be checked out or "else" CPS was going to do it for me. That was one of the scariest moments of my life. Luckily the case is closed on us now, as the social worker realized pretty quickly there wasn't much to investigate. Luckier still, I now have a pretty good excuse to forbid her to see our children ever again since her insanity has proven to be a danger to the very fabric of our family, not to mention she told Dh when they ran into each other at the mall Christmas shopping if she could do it all over again she would (despite not getting to see her grandchildren again). GAWD.
Jesse
Mommy to Kieran (3yo), Donovan (21mos) and Liam (6 weeks)

[Faith]

I could probably sit here and just add things all day...

When my ds was almost two weeks old, my dh dropped me and ds off at my mom's and he left with my dad. my mom told me I was "selfish and just trying to be cute" by BFing him, and "soon I would realize how selfish and wrong I really was..."

She was holding him and he (rightfully!) started to cry. I went to get him, and she turned her back on me. I walked around her and she manuvered into a corner and was doing all she physicially could to stop me from taking him. He started screaming and the only option I had left would have been to over power her, which I was scared to do. I sat down (I was a first time mom) and cried, and he cried to sleep. It was so crazy! Then, my husband came back five hours later to pick me up (waaaaaay late because of my dad). My mom had held ds in her grip the whole time. He was passed out cold like never before (from all the crying). He went for five hours without BFing- a record and I thought my breasts were going to explode!

Looking back on it, I want to scream! I have since been forced to make them realize that we are the parents, not them. I only wonder what took me so long. The weird part is they seem so normal on the outside, but they are completely different people when they are in private.

just wanted to add~ that CPS story was awful! I feel for you!

and that Jesus link was AWESOME!

[HollyBearsMom]

This what my mother said to me when I told her intended to breast feed for as long a possible:

"Honey- That’s what kept Victorian women chained to the house"

:

This from a women who nursed all 5 of her children for over a year. She thought formula was the the best thing ever, they just couldn't afford it.

I told her "don't worry I'll still get out of the house in fact I plan to go back to work." The ongoing conversation about pumping was just ridiculous.

To my mom's credit she did "defend" me to any her friends that thought it was weird. She also told me very hush, hush that ”You know your SIL plans to wean at 6 months, maybe you should talk to her"

[Eosine]

PerfectLove your post makes me want to cry!! I would be tramautized for life it that happened to me! OMG!!! If I was there I would have taken her favorite whatever and threatened to drop it unless she traded it for my kid!!! I wish you could have tackled her!
She knew you couldn't do anything to her though, aggh! I'm soooo sorry you had to go through that for sooo long!

Do you ever talk to her? I can't believe she would do that to two week old.
I gotta hug my baby now!

[sevenkids]

You poor women have been through so much opposition! It makes me want to cry, I'm serious.....I have never heard such ignorant remarks in all my 20 years of raising children.
I think I'll call my mom and thank her for being so supportive of me all my life, and for setting such a good mothering example

[captain optimism]

PerfectLove, if I were you I would have taken out a restraining order on my mother after that incident. I'm not kidding.

[*~*SewHappyNow*~*]

Yeah, like tap water is so great and juice is sooo much better for a kid than bm!

I had a lady tell me this just yesterday. She's a sweet lady who's a customer of mine, but has some weird ideas. She's about 65 or so. We were talking about how when her kids were babies the doctors told them to give the babies orange juice and skim milk.

"We didn't breastfeed back then. No one did", she said. "Our kids are healtheir than you kids were, though."

"You mean breastfeed kids are healthier. Right?" I say. Thinking I heard her wrong.

"No, no. You kids who were breastfeed aren't as healthy as my kids were."

"Breastmilk is very healthy. It protects babies from allergies and illness."

"Well yea, but not when mothers eat junk food and drink and take drugs, like they do nowadays!" she says.

Didn't even know what to say. Not sure if she was saying my mom was a drug addict-junk food eater, or she was, or me or what

People have some weird justifications for things....

[Lucky Charm]

one of the dumbest things said to me was by my sil....when i told her my youngest was wandering at night, so he now sleeps with us (and did for 2+ years after) she told me to get a deadbolt and oput it outside his door, so i could lock it from the outside. i should then lock him in his room at night (no nightlight either) and leave him there, even if he cries. I told her "your fuc**ng nuts". she also seriously recommended i use that as a disciplining tool also.

I was at the grocery store with all three kids. my two older kids are 11 & 8 years older than the "baby". a lady came up to me and noticed my youngests blue eyes and blonde hair and said "Do they have the same father, or did you adopt him?". I looked at her and said "f*ck off" . i really did say that, the "f" word really working to my advantage in situations like this.

[veganmamma]

Perfectlove, my heart breaks for you. I would have called the police and captain is right, I would have gotten a restraining order after that. I would ahve had her arrested that day and never allowed to see her grandchildren again. What a horrible thing. I can't imagine how she must have raised you, so the pain must go deeper than that trauma. I'm sending you healing love************************************* and so is our family, MIL and all.

Love,
Lauren

[JesseMomme]

OMg Perfectlove that must have been absolutely awful!!! I cannot stand for any of my babies crying for more than few minutes, I just could not imagine hours...what your mom did was downright physically and emotionally abusive and I'm sure that's reduntand to say now...she was starving your baby! Geesh!
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Other things I have heard -
From my grandmother, who bottle fed eight children, to my mother, trying to breastfeed me: "Breastfeeding is for the birds!"
I jsut wish my grandmother (who lives states away) could see me nursing my son, so if she said that I could say with a straight face "But Grandma, birds can't breastfeed!"

Another gold nugget from my grandmother: "It's ok to let them cry for a while, thier lungs need the exersise/need to develope" I'd like to say to her "But Grandma, last I knew lungs developed while INSIDE the womb"

Basic biological knowhow huh?

My other grandmother had my mother convinced that she was starving me (my mother and I had a rough first week appearently, I cried, she cried. Guess both of our lungs got good excersise ) and kept mentioning a bottle. MY poor mom! I wonder how she ever managed? : She wasn't what I would call my model for Ap, but she got breastfeeding me and my siblings down and I at least got support from her for that.

On the other hand my mother and I don't see eye to eye on my "style". She used to always make comments about how I'd "pick them up at the first whimper" or "never set them down". I just shrugged it off as her trying to pass down what her mother passed down to her. But to her credit, one day her and her friend were talking about their kids and it came up how "nutty" I am and her friend said "You know what? who are we to judge? Look at how our kids turned out, and we never picked them up that much!" And my mom stopped and thought said "You know C, you're right!"

Jesse
Mommy to Kieran, Donovan and Liam

[April 2007]

im reading some of these posts and tears are just pouring down my face. i want so badly to go back to the day w perfect love and kick the lady's a$$...and im not even a violent person! i would call the police at least!! im so sorry for those who have dealt w hurtful people... dealing w miscarriages, ttc, etc. i love you all and am praying for extra healings.

-devin

[Christy1980]

*wow* you poor mammas! PerfectLove, that is awful what happened to you. I would've called the cops, too. btw~~did you ever point out who was *actually* being selfish that day?

I'm sooo sorry people have been sooo rude to all of you.

On that note, my dad said to me when i told him i might not be able to have children on my own (long story short, the bc pill shut down my ovaries and I will probably have to seek medical assistance to conceive i've posted more on that in the i'm pregnant forum) he said that was probably best. I don't need to have kids since i'm not married and I haven't been able to find a proffessional job instead of working retail. But he was sorry that I was so sad about it. I should be happy and move on.

I told him that i would *like* to be a mother some day and I don't see how being childless is supposed to be a good thing when all you really want is a child.

he said being a parent isn't all it's cracked up to be. (THANKS DAD!!!) It's hard work with little rewards. (YEAH, DAD, THANKS ALOT!) I didn't know what to say, so I just changed the subject to his 3rd failing marriage and the loss of his job.

my dad is a jerk.

i've always known that i want to be a mom. lately everywhere i go, i see a pg woman or a mom and baby. it makes me sad to think that I may never get to experience that for myself...and it makes me feel even worse to know that there are people out there who can be sooo rude and hurtful to a mom who has probably struggled very hard to have that baby in the first place.

when i have a baby, if someone is rude to me, or mean, or a jerk, or something like that, I'm just gonna say, "you know what--I had to work really hard to get where i am today, and no one, not even you, is going to make me feel badly about what I am doing."

i have to go cry now......

---------------------
christy

[theatredad]

Christy

Arghh...

By what it sounds like you are doing the best you know how and that is great because you are doing better than a lot of others with the same situation. all you can do is plug along and find family if your own won't be there for you the way you NEED them to be.

i wish you the best

ERICH

[my3kids]

Wow, some people just say the rudest things. I am shocked by what even family members say and do. I'm sorry that there are so many rude people out there.

I think I am pretty lucky that my family is not this way. My mom is the greatest although she has never bf any of us. She totally supports my choices in parenting 100%. Although with my first baby I used to hear "well maybe she's not getting enough" when the baby was constantly feeding all day. But I took the time to educate her a bit as all she knew was bottle feeding. I am happy that we have such a great relationship.

Some things I've heard are "you'll spoil that baby by holding him/her all the time" and "sometimes they need to cry themselves to sleep" and the "that baby is eating too much", etc. One of my friends asked me one day how long I planned to bf my littlest one and I told her until he weaned himself. She then replied "before he gets teeth, right?":

[padomi]

Here's one for you. You won't believe that a woman actually said this. An acquaintance said to me when I said I was going to breastfeed "Oh, I didn't breastfeed because I get so sick of seeing women feeding in public when all they really want to do is show their t*ts off."

I was dumbfounded and just didn't respond. Such stupidity is best left unanswered.

[Kundalini-Mama]

Originally posted by MilliesMum
"Oh, I didn't breastfeed because I get so sick of seeing women feeding in public when all they really want to do is show their t*ts off."

that is EXACTLY why i chose to breastfeed! i CANNOT believe that someone figured it out.....

amy

[kater07]

ROFLMAO@amy!

You are too funny!

[padomi]

Yeah, notice I said she's an acquaintance, not a friend! Obviously this woman has serious issues. But at least I've had a lot of fun telling people what she said! It has excellent "can you believe that!?" factor!