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What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? - Page 9

post #161 of 5048

Thanks for a laugh today!
post #162 of 5048
I wanted to really thank everyone for their kind replys to my story.

It is just so nice to have you understand and care!

Yes, I do still talk to her. It all came to it's turning point last year when they threatened to sue us for our kids under so-called grandparents "rights." It is a long story (but they basicially thought we were demented with all our crazy parenting ideas of BFing our five month old dd and actually using car seats...)! I worked it out with them, and there have been ground rules ever since.

I'm sure the fact that there are no more gp rights had a little something to do with it. (thankyou, GOD!!)

So things are okay now as they have ever been!
post #163 of 5048
PerfectLove, CAR SEATS! They wanted to sue you over infant breast feeding and car seats! My God! Even if there were "grandparents' rights" enshrined in law, it would have taken an absolute lunatic of a judge to award them to your parents.

I'm glad you were able to work this out to your satisfaction and to maintain a relationship while protecting your children. I don't think my initial post was supportive ENOUGH. You are a wonderful woman to be able to parent so well with such bad examples!

Also I don't think I am valuing my own parents enough. Whatever dopey thing they say to me when they come for their post-natal visit in the next few weeks, I'm going to appreciate them for supporting me in these basic issues of the baby's safety and health.
post #164 of 5048

a little off topic...

Captiain Optimism~

I guess I could add two more dumb things! My dad said I was "sheltering" ds by making him be in a car seat, and on another occasion actually told us that at least if ds died in a car crash, it would be quick and not like some terrible disease! Direct quote there!

It is scary, I know. But the other thing is, my parents appear completely normal on the outside. They are nice looking, well-off, have nice jobs, are pleasent to make small talk with... It is only when you scratch the surface that you see what is lurking there. If they would have sued us, I bet they would have lied their areses off. They have their own ideas of what is right.

Growing up, it was so weird... They were seriously abusive (I bet that was obvious) but then they would turn around and give me a bunch of money to go shopping. Lots of head games!

Reading all the responses, I wondered why I didn't DO something at the time, but I guess it didn't seem all that out of place to me, considering it was my mom that was doing it, and that was "normal" for the way things are with her.

Really in a way, I just feel bad for her. At least I am out of there and happy now!
post #165 of 5048

you sound like such an amazing person!! that is a lot to go through and big-time to you for being such a wonderful parent with that kind of upbringing!!!
post #166 of 5048
Growing up, it was so weird... They were seriously abusive (I bet that was obvious) but then they would turn around and give me a bunch of money to go shopping. Lots of head games!
Hey, when you're living with it every day, you don't know that you can do anything about it! Trust me, I never would have thought to actually tell anyone about all the whacky crap that went on in my house. I just thought it would make people even more likely to think I was even more weird than they already thought I was.

You'd think teachers would at least catch on! I think they're more aware nowadays, and can even do more about it at least.
post #167 of 5048
Holding my baby a man approaches, looks tenderly at us, and asks, "Girl or Boy?"
I answer, "She is a girl."
"Oh...(look of dissapointment) Well, are you going to keep trying for a boy?"

silence (look of shock)
Then I simply said, "well no."

Then I decided to love him anyway. :
post #168 of 5048
Mary-Beth, did you ever get the " funny, he looks like a girl" (or vice versa). Both my ds have the longest eyelashes and big eyes and little rosebud mouths. People would always tell me they looked like girls. Hmm, how about a simple, "cute baby"?.
People are strange..
post #169 of 5048
Uhh, Mary-Beth-are you trying to tell us that the man is your husband or other close relative??? IF so, OMG!!

My sons were alway mistaken for girls...even as toddlers...we were at a friends house when they were moving...she hangs out at motheringdotcom too


and here is my 4 yr old in his brothers hand me down worn clothes, dirty from running around in the muddy weather, and with short (but curly) hair....

and the moving guy asks his older brother "what's your sister's name?"

His older brother laughed his head off and ran to tell us what the moving guy asked him!

They both do have the long lashes, and the 4 yr old has the most beautiful blue eyes...but how could he think I would dress a girl like that! hmmmph!
I can only hope my 4 mo dd gets those lashes!
post #170 of 5048
I dress my daughter in clothes that boys can wear. My freinds son (3yrs) had a dress that he loved to wear, a cinderella "ball gown," He recently outgrew it and gave it to my dd.

When dd was tiny everyone thought she was a boy "because her hair was really dark.:
post #171 of 5048
My freinds son (3yrs) had a dress that he loved to wear, a cinderella "ball gown," He recently outgrew it and gave it to my dd.

Now I could understand my son being mistaken for a girl in that

I was a tom boy myself, and it was my brother who was mistaken for a girl even though he never wore girl's clothes either! He had this beautiful blonde hair that never got cut right by my mom though! When he was 9 I put make-up on him, and he looked just like Lady Diana did at the time she started dating Charles
post #172 of 5048
Perfect Love, You are a bigger person than I. I would have never let them be around my child again. i'm trying to figure out what to do about my abusive stepdad. He never says anything or does anything to piss me off, but i cringe to see him holding my little girl. It would be different if i had a boy, if you get my meaning. I may crack yet and just say that it's not worth the chance. i don't every want her to hear the crap that he said to me as a child, e.g., little lauren says she's proud of herself for being able to tie her shoes, evil stepfather says pride is sinful. won't speak to little lauren all day. yuck. okay geting OT.
post #173 of 5048
funny about the eyelashes thing, my DD has the longest curly eyelashes (got them from daddy: ) and big blue eyes and gets called a boy all the time!!!!! Some lady told me one day it was because her eyes looked like boy eyes....(this was me : ) she said only boys get such lovely eyelashes and it isn't fair....hmmmm

Anyway, my DD gets called a boy even when she is wearing pink or dresses...um HELLO!!!! SHE'S IN A DRESS! gosh, some people are so stupid! I think it is because she has short hair (albiet somewhat curly) everyone thinks short hair=boy....she is only 14mo, how long do people expect her hair to be?????? My mom says the solution is to get her ears peirced, I don't really think that is a valid reason to poke holes in my DD's body, just so people MIGHT think she is a girl....:
post #174 of 5048
Okay, i am so not ready for this thread to die. I'll add something else:
Everyone keeps asking me if dd isa sleeping thru the night!! She is 7 weeks old!!!!!!!!! HELLO????? We just use it as a good time to promote co sleeping and breastfeeding. **Sighs** People are so horrible to children. I'm having a rough day, in a rich neighborhood watching dteached parents... There's one mom here who is exceptionally good with her kids though. She must not be from around here.
post #175 of 5048
I just had my first baby on January 1, but we've already gotten some pretty stupid remarks, and we haven't even really started going out yet.

Several people have asked me if he's sleeping through the night yet. The baby is 2-1/2 weeks old, plus he was 5 weeks early. I wouldn't let him sleep through the night if he wanted to.

DH went to work briefly for an important meeting when the baby was about 1-1/2 weeks old. One lady walked up to him and the very first thing she said to him was, "I hope you don't have that baby in your room." DH told her to mind her own business. I would have told her that the baby is in our bed and walked off. I feel sorry for her kids.
post #176 of 5048


My younger sisters are identical twins, and we used to get the stupid question all the time:

"Are they twins?"

To which my father would reply: "No, they're six months apart."
post #177 of 5048
Due to some spotting at the beginning of this pregnancy, I'm not supposed to lift more than 30lbs at a time. My work requires me to drop off large trays of mail at the post office a couple times a month.

Last month, I was dropping off 18 trays of mail and two large boxes. 2 trays together is 30lbs. I rang the bell at the dock and told the guy who came out that I had a bunch of stuff to drop off and I started unloading one tray at a time. He just stood there. So I said, "And I can only lift one at a time...." He said, "well that's what you get for getting that way" and continued to stand there and watch as I unloaded five more trays one at a time.

Why didn't he just say, "That's what you get for being a whore and getting knocked up?" I couldn't say anything. I was too mad. Keep in mind all those trays contained over $2000 in postage.

My MIL cannot be convinced that nursing mothers can indeed make enough milk for their babies. When I mentioned to her that my SIL was having a rough time nursing her newborn (doc had encouraged early pumping which led to clogged duct and baby couldn't drain them and worked too hard and just fell asleep at the breast each time) my MIL said, "I wonder if she's making enough? A lot of women just don't make enough for their babies."

Uh. She's making TOO much. GRR! Doctors and grandmothers can be the worst. It's a conspiracy. Like the Smoking Man and his friends on the X-files. Creepy and WRONG.
post #178 of 5048

I can't believe that mail guy said that to you!!!!! and stood by watching you!!!!

I would have let him have it. what an a$$hole
post #179 of 5048
ChiChi...just when you think people can't possibly get any dumber, eh? I was livid.

We're having that particular mailing picked up at the office now. If they can't help when I bring it TO them, they can come get it themselves.

I had another one to add here but I can't remember it. I can lose a lot in five minutes lately. *L*
post #180 of 5048
I remembered!

I had my first when I was 19. I was SURE everyone was waiting for me to really screw up so I read and researched and prepared.

One of my nipples is flatter than the other and from all my reading I knew that if baby was really ready to nurse and couldn't get latched on to the flatter, I could start on the other side, even if it wasn't that breast's "turn".

So, in the hospital, the nurse brings baby to me to feed (this is before I knew he'd been given sugar water though I'd TOLD them not to) and he was really frantic to nurse. It was my flatter nipple's "turn". He was rooting like mad and getting very frustrated and didn't have the patience to latch. So I simply put him to the other breast and ahhhh, we were all better. So the nurse comes back in and asks how we're doing and I explained the whole thing and she says, "You can't DO THAT! You'll get an infection. That's why we give you the safety pin...so you remember to alternate!!" She unlatched my son and literally grabbed my breast, pinched my nipple and forced it into his mouth.

My husband just watched in shock. Not only had he never seen anyone breastfeed in person before, he'd never had the opportunity to see someone else grabbing his wife's breasts. Complete horror.

A little while later it was time for my dinner and the same nurse told my mother she needed to leave the room because a nursing mom needs to eat. Like my mom can't watch me eat?! Arrrrgh!
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