I love this thread! I've read the WHOLE thing!!! So, here's my contribution:
*After my m/c, my mil was "trying" to comfort me by saying that she was sad because the baby wasn't just my baby it was her baby too. What?!
*During that same visit home, we spent some time with my nieces. They were 4 and 6 yo and pretty hyper and annoying. And instead of curbing their bad behavior my step-mom kept telling me I better get use to it. And I wanted kids and this is what they are like. I think she could see in my face that I didn't agree with her and she began to get visibly angry and kept asking am I sure this is what I want? Well, I've been married for 8 years and had a m/c, a baby I really wanted and loved, so yes this is what I really want!
*I laughed when I read about babies that bite and the advice to bite them back harder. My step-mom told me when her twins were about two she was babysitting a neighbor's kid and he bit one of her girls so hard it drew blood. Well, she freaked out and bit the kid back! I don't know if she ever babysat for that kid again (but I'm pretty sure he stopped biting (oh, and he was about 4 or 5 yo.)) Remind me not to let step-mom babysit, ever.
*My step-mom said to my DH. "You can't let her go to a midwife no matter what. It's too dangerous since she has a high-risk pregnancy." WTH? I had a couple days of spotting at about 6 wks but OB and u/s confirmed everything was fine. I wouldn't really labor me as high-risk.
*At my 8 wk u/s in the waiting room, my step-mom asked (regarding having a baby) Are you sure you want to do this? WHAT?!? I told her, no we changed our minds. We don't want a baby anymore.
*My step-mom had said this one before (and I ignored her) but she said my cats would suffocate my baby because they would smell milk and slurp slurp slurp suck out the baby's breath. I said we don't sleep with the cats in our room. Her reply, but what about the baby's room? As if I wasn't going to have my baby with me or that I didn't care enough to close my child's bedroom door also.
*I have a step-sister that I don't care for (long story but she asked me to be a bridesmaid because I was her "sister" and then kicked me out because she didn't like who I was dating (dh now) but said it was because we weren't friends anymore.) Anyway, I don't care about her and never talk to her. I know she is ttc #2 but is having problems. I finally felt selfish for not sharing my knowledge so I mentioned to my step-mom about preseed and how it works, since step-sister is taking clomid and they know she is ovulating I thought it could only help to get her dh's slow lazy sperm up there if she doesn't already have ewcm. The response I got back? Preseed is pointless. Her doctor told them to use nothing. And she is taking her temp so she knows when she ovulates. Umm, okay. Does that mean she has ewcm? Is she tracking her other fertile signs to know before she actually ovulates? Step-mom made it sound like I was an idiot and didn't know anything and that preseed doesn't work at all. Well, guess what? The month we used it... it worked.
I'm sure I'll have many more to add. We just started telling friends that we're expecting, and frankly people are pretty stupid.