Please No Bashing! - Page 2

[mandib50]

Originally Posted by MotherOf2Boys

Thank you guys for being patient with me! As I think about it more, it is silly to take our milk away and replace it with a cows. Do you get bad looks or comments? I'm sure if I decided to nurse longer then a year my family would drive me crazy with hurtful remarks. At the same time I understand its my choice, and my son, but I dont know if I'm a strong enough person to handle that. How do you girls handle it? If married, or dating, how did your other half feel about it?

Thanks again you girls have been great!
C.R.

my first nursed till 4 years, then my second to 3 years, my third to 2 1/2 years and my fourth is almost 3 and still nursing.

i found that eventually if you just keep doing what you want to do without letting the negative comments get to you, family members just drop them. arm yourself with alot of great info and sarcastic comebacks

when i was dating, my 2nd was still nursing, he was just over 2. i made a point of nursing in front of my date very soon into our dating because i thought if he has a problem with me nursing, i need to now know so i can say see ya! well, that was 7 years ago and i married him i think he has been impressed over the years to see that my parenting ways can work and so he's not critical at all.

mandi

[MotherOf2Boys]

Thanks for all the encouragement. I'm a member of an animal breeders forum and they bicker and fight all day long, its really nice to escape the madness and come here!

Most everyone says try to start your children on baby food around 6 months, I'd like to hear your input on that. I read a post on here that they shouldnt start solids until they can feed theirself? I have to admit I've snuck my son some chocolate frosting a time or two ok, ok, maybe even three!!

I called the fiance and asked him how he would feel if I breastfed our son longer, he said " I just dont want you to have a 10 year old hanging off your boob". Men! I think he kind of misses them (you know, my boobs,lol). I have to admit, I kind of miss them too. For now though, my son has them claimed. I'll talk with him more when he gets home. I'm sure he'll be suportive, he usually is.

I love reading all of your stories, knowing that we've all been threw some of the same things is reassuring.

I checked the LLL website, they have a group that meets once every three weeks for mothers that are breastfeeding toddlers, thats good to know if I make it that far!

Thanks again,
C.R.

[Caroline248]

Wow, someone that stumbled on this site that doesn't think everyone here is a weirdo!! You will find great support and a host of information here!

One thing I learned with my kids, when they are tiny little infants, a one year old seems so OLD. But, when they are actually ONE, it seems so little. So try not to think of it as "nursing a one year old" (or two, etc) but as nursing YOUR SON. When the time comes, you will look at your little one year old the same way you look at him now, as your sweet precious baby who NEEDS you to do the best for him. THat never changes as they grow older and bigger.

It seems to me the only time my baby doesn't seem to be such a baby anymore is when the next one comes along!

~C~

[MotherOf2Boys]

I have another question. I've noticed that most of you that have toddlers nurse during the night. Do they sleep with you in bed? My 4 month old does, I was just wondering. Hes been doing really good about sleeping threw the night. Honestly, since the day he was born he has let me sleep at least 6 hours at night. Gotta love him!

C.R.

[Caroline248]

Originally Posted by MotherOf2Boys

I have another question. I've noticed that most of you that have toddlers nurse during the night. Do they sleep with you in bed? My 4 month old does, I was just wondering. Hes been doing really good about sleeping threw the night. Honestly, since the day he was born he has let me sleep at least 6 hours at night. Gotta love him!

C.R.

I just moved my one year old out of our bed becasue he just was keeping me up all night. He would hit me, kick me, bite me, whatever to get my attention. My other kids all slept in our bed until about two or three...

There is a forum for Co-Sleeping here too.....ETA-It is called "THe Family Bed and NIghttime Parenting"

~C~

[westernmamomma]

I too formula fed my first child (long story started out bf'ing but ended up with formula) and am now ebf'ing (exclusively breastfeeding) my ds. I look back and wish that I had the resources and friends available to me then that I do now. I think that my experience would have been so much different. You're starting out in the right place by asking ofr help here, I've learned so much alread, only being a member for almost two months. I can't imagine weaning him any time soon, and plan to follow clw (child led weaning).

[Ruthla]

Forgive me if I repeat anything somebody else already answered!

DD= dear (or darling or darn) daughter
DS= dear (or darling or darn) son
DH= dear (or darling or darn) husband/hubby
DP= dear (or darling or darn) partner

For me, Child Led Weaning means that I'm not going to cut him off from breastfeeding when he reaches some arbitrary age limit. Every day, he's only one day older than he was the day before!

ETA (edited to add) tandem nursing is nursing 2 siblings, triandem nursing is nursing 3 siblings. Tandem nursing usually refers to nursing children of different ages (ie, nursing a toddler while pregnant again, then nursing both children) but occasionally I've seen someone use the phrase to refer to nursing twins.

[TeaBag]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

Every day, he's only one day older than he was the day before!

I this!!! I'm going to remember it on the days when I feel like a walking boob!

[alegna]

Originally Posted by MotherOf2Boys

I have another question. I've noticed that most of you that have toddlers nurse during the night. Do they sleep with you in bed? My 4 month old does, I was just wondering. Hes been doing really good about sleeping threw the night. Honestly, since the day he was born he has let me sleep at least 6 hours at night. Gotta love him!

C.R.

Yes, my nearly 14 month old sleeps with us I wouldn't have it any other way. I have a sleeper too- I swear I've gotten more sleep in the past 14 months than the rest of my life! Shh, we're lucky don't talk too loud- we make people jealous But after this experience I can't imagine why people would want to put their babies in the other room so they have to GET UP if they need anything. Much less get up and make bottles... what a pain. My dd rarely nurses in the middle of the night, but when she wants to I don't even wake up all the way.

-Angela

[PortraitPixie]

I'm just sitting here, my head to all the prior posts. . .lots of good info here!

Just wanted to say welcome and I'm glad that you are asking questions!

Sar

[ShadowMom]

Hi there. Congratulations and your 4 month old! I bet you have gone through a lot of changes in the last few months (at least, I did when I had a baby).

The thing about nursing a toddler is, as I think someone may have already mentioned (but it's worth mentioning again), is that when they turn 1 year old, you realize that... they're still babies! And, it is so natural for them to want to nurse still.

I'm nursing my 22 month old guy and don't plan on stopping anytime soon. He is SO young! And, nursing when they're toddlers (and not always as easy to deal with) can be a godsend. It is really a way to reconnect with your toddler... when they're having a really hard day and screaming at you a lot, that can really be important. :LOL

Also, it makes me feel good. I know that nursing released hormones that make you feel good, and I never noticed that the first several months of DS' life (I guess because breastfeeding was so hard). But I definitely do now... once he's nursed, I'm relaxed, he's relaxed, and we both smile at each other.

Good luck with your nursling, and I hope you have a chance to find out how rewarding and snuggly it can be nursing a toddler!

[hummingbear]

Hi and Welcome,

It is wonderful to feel like I might have information or experience that is useful to someone.

There is a great link to a Kathryn Dettwyler article in this forum not too long ago. I'll do a search.

My brother and wife and probably their adult children think I am nuts for nursing a four year old. I just keep doing it. We don't discuss it.

DS still sleeps with DH and me.

DS night nursed every two hours or less 24/7 for the first 26 months. So you are a huge step ahead on the sleep thing.

He gradually reduced his night nursing himself until a couple day medical mandatory no breastfeeding eliminated his last regular night waking at 3 3/4. Thank goodness this didn't happen to us before because he seemed ready for it and that would not have been so any younger. He occassionally wakes now to nurse and will be satisfied with a few minutes before falling fast asleep again.

There are lots who have lots to say about starting food at 6 months. If he isn't ready don't sweat. Don't worry about the iron thing. If he is nursing and you are eating well it should not be a problem. You have lots of time to look into things. My DS did not really take to eating until sometime around 12 months or later? I will have to review any notes I wrote on that one. Yes he would eat but not all that much and not with great gusto.

Good Luck

Just know that you as the mother are the greatest source of what feels right.

Yay I found the article written by Katherine Dettwyler: http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html

It was mentioned in an interesting thread here: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ight=Dettwyler

PS Oh, the first time I ever heard of a toddler who was 4 and nursing (long before the notion of having a child entered my being) I thought that would be wierd to grow up and remember it. Now I think that would be great to grow up and remember it. Funny how perspective changes.

[Meiri]

I think your fiancee doesn't realistically have to worry about a 10 year old "hanging off your boob". Seriously, they do generally self-wean well before that.

DD says she's going to continue until she's 8, but she might go a week between nursing requests now, so any one of them could be the last.

This is something we grew into with DS, then chose to do with DD--on DS's recommendation too no less.

[velcromom]

It's really nice to see you here asking questions and finding out about why moms nurse longer than a year! I didn't intend to nurse past a year (didn't even know people did that!) until I went to a few LLL meetings and realized that children do desire to nurse as toddlers, and so I started looking into it. I was a bit peeved when I found out that all the major health organizations encourage nursing to a year (or two) mimimum, and as long as a mom wants to after that - and not a single one of my health care providers had mentioned that to me during conversations about caring for my ds!! That was an eye opener, understanding that his ped, and the nurses and even the hospital lc's had not been well educated enough to give me the accurate info I needed.

My ds is now 34 months and over the last year his nursing frequency has declined, now he nurses at bedtime and once in a while, perhaps once or maybe twice during the day. It's no strain to me and I'm grateful for the way it helps him relax & shift gears from "defiant toddler mode" back to his sweet self. They are nurslings for such a short time in their life... it's a real gift, for both of us, to be able to share this time and reap the many benefits.

[mama2monkeys]

Mine both self weaned. Around 15 months or so. I think it is an individual choice how long you shoud bf for. Its not fair to put a time limit on it the way alot of society do. I just kinda went with the flow & let them decide. Mine were just so indepent and no longer wanted to be held back by breast, they were happier at that point to get a sippie cup & run around to play.

[Elphaba]

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[LauraN]

Motherof2Boys:

I'm glad you stumbled onto the MDC boards. You'll find a lot of supportive, knowledgeable, wise mamas here.

Just to add to the pile of personal stories: My ds is still nursing at 3.5 yrs, and his little sister joined him a year ago. And they both sleep in our bed. Or rather, dd sleeps between mom and dad, and ds sleeps in his own bed, pushed right up against ours so he can roll into our bed whenever he needs to (which he mostly does when he wets, since he's trying to night-train himself at the moment :LOL ).

These boards and this parenting philosophy is all about trusting your instincts and knowing that only you know what feels right and is best for your kids.

[TakeItEasyMama]

Nursed until 2 and 3 months.

I practice child lead weaning. LaLeche League can teach you all about that and tandem nursing (nursing two at a time.) Visit lalecheleague.org to find a group near you to see nursing live and in person. My ds (dear son) nursed less and less for food and more and more for comfort and pain relief as he got older. When he was about two I began to tell him that he had choices and one day he decided to take it. I did get pregnant at the same time and might have encouraged a bit of weaning, but he was ready as he didn't resist a bit. It was his choice. It's a choice for you. I know tons of moms who have nursed past one or two and there kids are HEALTHY! Good luck.

[wendy1221]

Originally Posted by mandib50

when i was dating, my 2nd was still nursing, he was just over 2. i made a point of nursing in front of my date very soon into our dating because i thought if he has a problem with me nursing, i need to now know so i can say see ya! well, that was 7 years ago and i married him i think he has been impressed over the years to see that my parenting ways can work and so he's not critical at all.

mandi

Mandi, that's awesome! WHen I started dating my dh, my first was 18 mos old. I had weaned him (actually a nursing strike, caused by me, that I mistook for weaning) at 15 mos. But my dh just assumed I was still nursing when we started dating. How funny is that? Probably b/c his mom nursed his 2 youngest brothers for over 2 years and he had seen me nursing ds in class some of the few times I'd brought him. I still sometimes wonder if ds would have ended up weaned if dh and I had got together just a few months sooner. Just having one single person acting like it was normal, let alone being supportive, might have made that much of a difference. I love my dh!

[Nickarolaberry]

Some of my fave replies to people who ask, "So when are you going to stop nursing?" (i.e. busybody family and friends, even people out in public!):

1) "I stopped a long time ago. My mom lives too far away."
2) "In about five minutes."
3) "Why? Are you hungry?"
3) "Well I don't want to pay for an extra bed in the college dorm, so I guess I'll cut him off then."

Those are kinda snarky, but really, it's amazing to me how people feel free to be critical and/or involved in such a personal mama decision! Actually, Dr. Jay Gordon has some great comebacks in his book "Good Nights" when people get on their high horses about co-sleeping too.

Seriously, I had to deal with some major family aggravation when nursing past a year (my first) because I was the first in my family to breastfeed. They all eventually got over it (my dad was always supportive). Now they don't look twice. It's only one of many parental decisions that will likely not jibe with what your family/friends may or may not have done. It's important to be firm in your own beliefs and practices and to radiate confidence in your decisions (even when you yourself may be unsettled about them) otherwise the invasion of your privacy will only get worse.