Please No Bashing! - Page 4

[mariamaroo]

Correction!

Originally Posted by alegna

Tell her that the AAP says you should nurse for at LEAST a year and then as long after as you want. WHO says you should nurse at LEAST TWO YEARS and then as long after as you want.

-Angela

Actually AAP now recommends at least 2 years, and as long as you want afterwards. I'm still nursing dd, who turned 2 this weekend. There's no better way for me to comfort her, get her down to sleep, and reconnect emotionally with her. All that in addition to the fantastic nutritional benefits. I fully support you!

As for biting, the most valuable thing I heard about it was that it is physically impossible to bite and suck at the same time (assuming the baby is properly positioned and latched on). Therefore, if baby is biting, she's not nursing. This does NOT mean stop nursing altogether - it means teach baby nursing ettiquette: nursing is nursing, playing and teething are for when you're done. I ended the nursing sessions when dd got a little bitey, and never got hurt too badly.

[mom2threenurslings]

to you... it must be difficult to hearthat from your mom. Hopefully her opinion will change as your child grows and as you share information with her.

The primary function of breasts is not sexual - it's to provide nourishment for human children ... just as cow udders aren't sexual, they're meant to provide nourishment for calves. Yes, for some women breasts ALSO have that other, secondary function, but the sexual aspect has nothing to do with the breastfeeding relationship. It's difficult for some people to get their minds around that concept.

A friend once pointed out to me that we don't think it's perverse for a kangaroo joey who is out of the pouch, hopping around exploring his world, eating "solids", etc. to go back to his mama to nurse - we think that's natural. BUT somehow people get the idea that walking and talking children are too old to nurse, even if they still have the natural, normal need to nurse. We don't question the age of weaning of other species - just our own. (Btw, kangaroos tandem nurse!)

OK, I'm done now!

[callmemama]

I would encourage you to make your own decisions about what is best for your child (your mother already had her chance!). It is so sad that breasts have been so sexualized in this country that some people can't get beyond that. We were given lactating breasts for a reason - to nurse our young! Why would I give my child milk from another species when he can have mine? My milk is designed especially for him with all the nutrients, fats, etc that he needs at whatever stage of development he's in!

Also, keep in mind that your mother may never come around, regardless of all the facts about the benefits of breastfeeding. It may be something you will have to agree to disagree on... Sometimes people have to make the topic off limits if the other person can't (at least) be respectfully silent.

[alegna]

Originally Posted by mariamaroo

Actually AAP now recommends at least 2 years, and as long as you want afterwards.

I'm hoping that's true but can NOT find it anywhere. Do you have a link? On their site they still have the one year bit.

I've looked and looked and find NOTHING there about 2 years.

-Angela

[Raynbow]

Well, for the medical and health benefits for both momma and child, the best source I've found (beside here) is www.kellymom.com

My reasons?
1. He wants to keep nursing and there is no reason to stop.
2. Health benefits.
3. I know he always gets some nutrition even if he isn't eating well.
4. When he gets sick and vomitting, he can keep down breastmilk!
5. No matter what is wrong - injury, temper tantrum, tired, cranky... momma's nursies makes everything better! (There is no easier, healthier & faster "fix" of a two year old temper tantrum then nursies!)
6. It's our way of slowing down and re-bonding after work every day. It "forces" me to stop and take time just for him no matter how busy the day is! (as a single momma, this is VERY important)
7. It's the ONE thing that only *I* can do for him... (this is my selfish reason) and it makes me proud to know that this is OUR special thing.

I know I have more, but that is the ones that came to mind right off... Gotta get back to work!

Glad you asked, btw!
I hope maybe this gives you reasons to continue nursing your baby til s/he self-weans!

[nursiemom]

Just wanted to post a quick note-- my daughter just (mostly) self-weaned at 6.5 YEARS old this summer! I stopped nursing her in public when she was about 4 year old, and even though I tandem nursed her and her brother for 13.5 months, I did not tandem nurse them in public (just personal preference). I did nurse both as babies *everywhere*-- church, malls, airplane, even my DH's submarine! (He's in the Navy) My daughter's nursing was starting to become uncomfortable for me, both emotionally (I really wanted to be nursing her brother, the 18 month old, but he is on medical formula for a rare disease) and physically (she had lost both top front baby teeth and her new teeth coming in were irritating my nipples!) so I gently guided her weaning. When she was born if you had told me I would have nursed her at 6 years old I would have told you you were crazy! But it was just so natural to keep going. I think the "weaning at 1 year" is so artificial-- I mean, does the baby suddenly become not a baby any more when he/she turns one?? I love it when moms with infants or even moms who are pregnant or trying ask about toddler/older kid nursing! It's great when we can share the message that older nursing kids and their moms aren't nuts!

[karlin]

Welcome!

I never thought I'd be nursing a one year old! I had no idea about babies (I thought they just started eating tons of solids at 6 months...lol). Now, I'm still nursing my 25 month old son. He is in no way ready to quit. BTW, we don't nurse in public. My DS knows that's for when we are home, at a friend's house, or at nana and papa's house. It's a personal issue with me...I'm just shy.

Now, as for your partner missing your breasts...your milk supply will really start regulating between 6-9 months. This means they will won't leak much anymore, and feel much more like your breasts did before you started nursing. It took me awhile before I felt comfortable with my breasts for both purposes again, but it did happen.

As for your mom, just don't talk about it. My family knows my son is still nursing, and most of them are okay with it. 25 months ago they would have thought it was crazy....but knowing him and our relationship through the last 2 years has made them realize how right it really is.

[mariamaroo]

Originally Posted by alegna

I'm hoping that's true but can NOT find it anywhere. Do you have a link? On their site they still have the one year bit.

I've looked and looked and find NOTHING there about 2 years.

-Angela

I'm doing some research too, and I'll let you know what I find out. I heard this in two separate places: Mothering Magazine and my LLL meeting, so I don't <i>think</i> I'm crazy. ;-)

[mina'smommy]

Hi, everyone. I'm still nursing my 13-month-old even though my neighbor thinks "it's ridiculous". My mom does, too, even though she won't admit it. But I can't worry about what everyone else thinks. My baby is happy, so healthy, and sleeps through the night. I plan on nursing as long as it's working for both of us. And why, WHY, does everyone think drinking cow's milk is so normal? Don't get me wrong, I have a dash in my coffee when I have the occasional cup, but drinking another mammal's milk instead of your own mother's??? Anyway, just my 2 cents. Thanks for listening!

Kim

[alegna]

Originally Posted by mariamaroo

I'm doing some research too, and I'll let you know what I find out. I heard this in two separate places: Mothering Magazine and my LLL meeting, so I don't <i>think</i> I'm crazy. ;-)

I've heard it around too, but I'm afraid it's urban legend as I can't find it anywhere.

-Angela

[pinky]

I just did a round-up of all the difference policy statements I could find on b/f, and the AAP definitely still rec's at least a year.

Maybe you're thinking of the AAFP? They don't sepecifically say nurse for at least two years (I think), but they encourage docs to support moms who want to nurse during pregnancy, b/c the child weaned before two has an increased risk of health problems. Plus they note that nursing can help the older child's transition to having a baby sibling.

[jenvh]

It is definitely true about the AAP! It came to me through Mothering Magazine, but also was mentioned at the health department where I work through the WIC office. I only printed it out once, from the Holistic Moms Network. This was in April of 2005. If the connection is still there, it is at:

http://home.homewebs.com/holisticmom...2270&From=Home

The quote they used form the AAP is: "no evidence of psychological or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." As well as other beauties such as "human milk is uniquely superior for infant feeding" and "the potential for decreased annual health care costs of $3.6 billion in the United States"

It provides a link to the complete document as well. If the link doesn't work, I am guessing you could still go to the Holistic Moms Network web site and find it there.

For biters, a woman at my church who nursed four children in the 1970s into their toddler years, including twins, she gave me this advice:

When he bites, gently take him off the breast without saying anything, you don't want to scare him off the breast or be negative in any way. Count to ten (or 20 if it hurt), then put him back on without any major interruption.

I had to do this twice with my son Alex, and after that he never bit again. It is amazing how well this works, and is so gentle and positive.

I should add that at around 14 months he did bite and draw blood, but he had been startled and pulled away too fast. I did pump from that breast on a very gently setting which didn't bother me and used Lansinoh until it was healed, while Alex nursed from only the other breast. It was all better soon, and Alex was nursing from both breasts after probably three days.

Keep it, up, know you're doing the rght thing. We are all proud of you!

Jen

[gottaknit]

It is definitely true about the AAP! It came to me through Mothering Magazine, but also was mentioned at the health department where I work through the WIC office. I only printed it out once, from the Holistic Moms Network. This was in April of 2005. If the connection is still there, it is at:

http://home.homewebs.com/holisticmo...=2270&From=Home

The quote they used form the AAP is: "no evidence of psychological or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." As well as other beauties such as "human milk is uniquely superior for infant feeding" and "the potential for decreased annual health care costs of $3.6 billion in the United States"

Thanks so much for posting this!!!
I'm going to print it off for my mom's friend who is a pediatrician and recently told my mom that, "you probably can't tell yet, but he [DS] is probably a little mentally deficient due to lack of iron" because I am "still breastfeeding". (DS has had his iron level checked and it is perfect, thankyouverymuch.)

I'll also give copies to my FIL (MD in Internal Medicine) and MIL (Nurse Practioner), who both think formula is "just as good" as breastmilk, and that DS is "old enough for real milk now".

[hummingbear]

Originally Posted by gottaknit

[B]
I'm going to print it off for my mom's friend who is a pediatrician and recently told my mom that, "you probably can't tell yet, but he [DS] is probably a little mentally deficient due to lack of iron" because I am "still breastfeeding".

I'll also give copies to my FIL (MD in Internal Medicine) and MIL (Nurse Practioner), who both think formula is "just as good" as breastmilk, and that DS is "old enough for real milk now".

Oh my!!!!!!

I am glad you have something reputable to further their education.

Just another anecdote..... my sister's baby underwent surgery at a few months old and his iron levels were quite low after surgery. His iron levels returned to ideal without the use of any supplements simply from nursing his healthy mama's milk.

More food for thought. We are the only species to drink the milk of another species, I guess unless you give your cat a bowl of milk (and I remember reading somewhere that it isn't so great for them either).

[nursiemom]

Speaking of drinking another's species' milk-- right after my son was born we had to evacuate for a hurricane, and our house lost power for over a week. My son had been in the NICU after birth, so I was pumping and had some extra BM in the freezer when we left. My DH had to go back right after the hurricane, and I told him to be sure to "rescue" the BM-- well, it had been in the freezer without power for a couple of days, so I couldn't give it to my son-- but I couldn't bear to throw it out, either, especially since my husband put it on ice and it didn't look or smell spoiled when we finally all got home, so.... I gave it to our two dogs! They loved it! And since they were our "original babies" it was kind of appropriate they got to drink it, too!

[gottaknit]

OK I printed out and read the new AAP guidelines from February, and I still don't see any reference to nursing at least two years. : It says lots of stuff about there isn't any reason not to nurse longer than a year, but their recommendation still appears to be to "nurse at least 12 months"...

Am I missing something?

[Raynbow]

My sons sleep with me... and sleep throught he night. That won't change - expect for teething - and when that happens, being able to nurse him back to sleep (especially during the terrible twos) will be SUCH a relief!

[Raynbow]

I don't know.. tha pan sounds like a good idea!
Maybe remind her that breasts were CREATED for breastfeeding not for filling a bikini or a porn movie.

As for the biting, every time he bites down, break the latch and tell him "No biting Momma." wait a few seconds (or longer as he gets older), then let him latch back on... if he continues to bite, he probably isn't hungry and is just nursing for comfort/enjoyment. Breaking the latch every time he bites will help him learn that biting momma means nursies go away. Once he makes the connection, he will bite less and less (and you will learn that when he bites, he is done "eating" nursing and is playing) and he will eventually stop biting completely.
(I had an early teether... he started at 3 months old!)

[mariamaroo]

Originally Posted by alegna

I've heard it around too, but I'm afraid it's urban legend as I can't find it anywhere.

-Angela

I'm afraid I can't now locate confirmation of the AAP recommending 2 years of bf'ing. I'm SURE I didn't make it up, so I'm mystified. Sorry for the misinformation!

[MotherOf2Boys]

Thanks for all of the replys
I guess I just dont want to disappoint her in any way. Which is really weird since she has disppointed me all my life (she was a drugy for most of my life, and I left the house at 14). I'm still young, and I really dont want to upset her. I'm not going to let that get to me though.. I'll just come on here and vent everytime something bothers me, lol! So get ready to hear me complain a lot
I'll also print out some of the pages of websites I've found, and you girls have posted. That way she doesnt think I'm crazy and making things up.
I'm having too much fun BFing. Its a great feeling and I'm sure if she were to BF us kids she would know exactly what I'm talking about!

Although, the pan does sound extremely easier...

C.R.