need advice about labor

[Rollermommy]

It occured to me last night, as I was laying awake for several hours, that I really know nothing about having a good labor. What I mean by that is, the ONLY thing I know to do is breathe and try to relax and not fight your body. How can a person have 2 kids and not know how to labor!!!:
I know there are things you can do, positions you can get in, natural ways of relieving or coping with the pain, but I have no idea what they are. My due date is less that 6 wks away and I think I should probably start finding out instead of just trying to wing it. For God sake, I don't even know what a pelvic tilt or pelvic rocking is!!! Does anyone have any suggestions or can you recomend a good book?

[sea island mama]

I haven't read it yet, but you could check out the "Birthing from Within" thread below. You might also want to look at some info on the Bradley method.
Sorry I don't have any first hand suggestions, other than pre-natal yoga...if you can find a class in your area it's not too late to start. I found it very helpful in allowing me to focus once my doula arrived last time. Unfortunately, before that I was totally out of control.
Good luck!

[*~*SewHappyNow*~*]

I've never done this Labor thing yet, but I've read some books lately. Dr. Sear's The Birth Book is a good one. It shows you diagrams and instructions for excercises like pelvic tilt and rocking. It has diagrams for positions in labor, also. It goes into other details, like breathing and how to deal with pain.

The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth by Sheila Kitzinger is also a good one.

I am currently reading Dr. Bradley's book, Husband Coached Childbirth. Not sure how it is, just yet.

I also enjoyed reading Laura Kaplan Shanley's book, Unassisted Childbirth. The birth stories at the end were particularly interesting.

Edited to say that one thing all these author's stress is the importance of having the right attitude about your labor and birth. How fear actually makes it more painful than it has to be. The importance of trusting your body knows what to do and to listen to what it tells you. The importance of how the more knowledge you have about the normal, natural process of birth the better you can cope with it. Can't say I believe them first hand, but that's the common theme running throughout all these books. I feel reading them has prepared at least a little bit, I hope. Good luck with your labor and birth.

[MysticHealerMom]

I had some experience without benefit of prior "training".

Yogic breathing helped the most. Donna Farhi's book The Breathing Book has a lot of different breathing techniques for different issues - especially labor. I read it shortly before I needed it and it helped a lot. It's not lamaze breathing, no panting, etc etc. If you have experience w/yoga, you probably get my drift...



Lori

[somemama]

Oh yes, the book "Birthing From Within" is a must! I just loaned out my copy. Check at your local library!

Here are some tips:

Breathe, schmeethe. You won't forget to breathe. So don't concentrate on it. If you're having trouble, ask for oxygen.

Get in warm water if you can. (Pool, shower, etc.)

Have you hired a doula? Is it too late? A doula is wonderful for helping you get through naturally!

My dh/doula put heat pads on the small of my back, which was wonderful because that is where I was having the most pain. My dh also applied pressure to this spot.

If music works for you, have some playing softly.

If you feel like it, walk around.

Did you ever play "spider" on the swings as a kid? Sit that way on your dh to take the pressure off your pelvis. (If he's big enough to support you!)

My doula applied pressure to a specific point on my knee (when I was sitting in a chair) that took some of the pressure off the contractions.

I had my dh talk to me--tell me I was doing a wonderful job, etc.

I gave birth on my hands and knees, leaning over the back of the bed (which was raised.) Get off your back! Go with gravity, not against it.

Do you have a doc/midwife who is supportive of natural birth? This makes a big difference.

Don't starve yourself--don't let your doctor starve you, either. You're running a marathon, and you need energy.

I used squeeze balls to get through contractions.

Scream, cry, whatever--don't be afraid to make noise.

It will hurt--but you are a warrior and you can do it!

Edited to add: where I mentioned my dh, you can change to partner/friend/doula, if you wish! Good luck! Women have been giving birth since the beginning of time----you have their collective powers with you! You can do it!

[cottonwood]

My usual advice:

1) Ignore it as long as possible -- keep on doing every day stuff, eat, sleep, work, play. Do not time contractions -- this can be discouraging and nonproductive. Do not allow anyone to touch your vagina -- this can be distracting, inhibiting, and stressful, and can lead to dangerous interventions (AROM, sweeping of membranes) and cause infection.

2) If the labor drags on and you begin to lose energy: rest, eat, stay hydrated, and pee a lot. Have only people around that are comforting to you or entertaining, and flexible and sensitive to your needs. Make love with your husband and orgasm as much as you can.

3) When the contractions are demanding your attention, seek out a quiet, dark, warm, safe, private place. Have no one talk to you unless you initiate conversation or ask for verbal support. Do whatever feels good and right to you, whether that be getting into warm water, taking a shower, sitting on the toilet, taking a walk, meditating, getting a backrub, listening to music, walking, lying down, etc.

4) If the contractions get painful, try changing your position, walking around, submerging yourself in hot water, massage. If you have back labor, have someone put pressure on your sacrum (hard bone, small of back) or push in on your hips; direct them, tell them what helps and what doesn't. Vocalize, loudly, as much as you feel the urge to. Allow your body's involuntary actions to happen without trying to make them into something else. Move as much as feel the urge to (even during contractions.) Keep your perineum moist and warm.

5) Push only when you cannot help but push. Feel for your baby yourself. When you are automatically bearing down, get into a squat, kneel, or get on your hands and knees, whatever feels best. Your grunting and groaning will alert your attendants that the baby is coming and they will get into position to help you catch (if you do not want to do it alone.) Breathe. Let your body propel the baby out.

6) When the baby is out and it is clear that it is not in distress, the attendants should leave immediately and give you a chance to focus your bonding hormones on your baby and come out of "laborland" slowly and gently.

7) Eat and drink if you feel like it, and offer your breast to the baby (this will stimulate the oxytocin that will help your uterus continue contracting.) If the baby is not nursing, massaging your nipples and breasts will have a similar effect. After a while, squat briefly and push a bit to see if the placenta has detached, and when it does, catch it in your hands or in a bowl.

"Birthing from Within" has some good advice for how to approach labor. So does "Spiritual Midwifery".

[Kirsten]

We had two great natural, intervention-free births after taking Bradley classes. But I was not terribly fond of the book he wrote himself - someone else mentioned reading it currently - Husband Coached Childbirth.
The GREAT book about Bradley method is by Susan McCutcheon-Rosegg and is called Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. I think it would be REALLY helpful to you. It is really great at simple, straightforward explanations. Has wonderful pictures and drawings and charts - all very understandable. This book is really THE one to read IMO.
Kirsten

[guestmama9924]

Have you thought about a doula? Not that having a doula is a replacement for your own knowledge, but she will help guide you to your own instincts and encourage you and tell you that you are doing it great, etc. Also having a doula can help you to feel like you are in a protected space, and when you truly feel safe and that you are able to have unconditional support, your instincts will and do kick in. Freedom to birth comes from good support and a safe space.

But then again , as a doula I am biased

[MysticHealerMom]

I was going to say that if I had 6 weeks and wanted just one resource, I'd read BFW, too.

I see what you're saying about breathe shmethe - of course you are going to breathe. However, if you've previously had a yoga practice, this isn't something I'd start with only 6 weeks to go and expect to get the same results, but for me meditative breathing and yogic breath work were really helpful. But you'd have to have been there for it to help. Just recounting my personal experience. Focusing on my breath, like in meditation, helped me focus on what was going on within me instead of around me.

But yogis don't puff (ala Lamaze), except for the "breath of fire", but you're not going to be using that in childbirth.



good luck, Mama!

Lori

[ramlita]

Great suggestions everybody!

Also, I loved my birth ball during labor. I liked how it supported me in resting my body while continuing the fluid motions that felt so right- lots of rocking my hips side to side (sitting on the ball) with my head resting on my arms on our high bed.

Good books:
Active Birth: The New Approach to Giving Birth Naturally
by Janet Balaskas

and
The Birth Partner: Everything You Need to Know to Help a Woman Through Childbirth
by Penny Simkin

Good luck! Have fun!

[Charmie981]

Okay, so maybe it's a little mainstream, but you seem to be wanting the basics of coping, so I would suggest _The Birth Book_ by Sears. What I remembered most from this book during my labor was the feelings that indicate something needs to be changed (position, pushing intensity, whatever). The feelings were things like "I thought Mack truck was driving through my pelvis" etc. So I found it to be VERY helpful. IMO, with only six weeks left, BFW is a little new age and internalize and visualize your birth, etc, which you won't have time for. The Birth Book is totally basics and this is this and that is that.

HTH!

[Rollermommy]

Wow! You guys are awesome. Thanks so much for all your wisdom. I'm going to get my dh to print this out and keep it handy with my birth plan. The book suggestions look great too, I'm not sure where to start. Keep the wisdom coming, I'm sure other unsure momma's are benefitting from all this great advice too.
Edited to add: Yes I have thought of getting a doula, and would love to do so, but can't afford the added expense right now. My midwife is very supportive, and likes to be completely involved in labor so I think she'll be helpful.

[shanetedissac]

I second the doula idea

Having another person there that 'knows' what is going on and will support you in the non medical way.

Take care-

Shane
mom to Theodore (3) and Issac (1)

[sevenkids]

While I was getting my doula certification, I had to doula X amount of clients free of charge to gain the experience towards my credit. I was fully trained before they let me attend, plus, I had my own experiences (my own births, plus the births of friends and family I had attended) to back me up. Maybe you can contact your local midwifery school and ask if any students need observations for credit??? Most of my clients I got through the school. The births I attend as a doula count towards my observes, and are FREE of charge! You can get a trained doula, albeit an inexperienced one, for no charge, and they get an observation and credit for attending. My clients had to fill out a little form to send back to my instructor, evaluating my skills, that's it.

If that doesn't work out for you, then just trust your body to know what to do, if you are allowed to move about, you will almost always instinctively choose the position/s that works for you. I remember with one of my babies I stayed in one position for the entire labor, I just did not want to move once I got comfy. Most of them I changed almost every 5 minutes....just depends!
Good luck, hoped that helped!

[LGSW]

Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way

I suggest Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon. You can get it at Borders. There are excellent drawings in there that will help you visualize what your uterus and pelvis are doing during labor, as well as excercizes and positions to use during labor. Also, some excellent B&W photographs of births.

There are tons more books out there with good information as well. I can't tell quite from your post if you strongly want a natural birth, and if you don't I don't want to offend you with all my suggestions! LOL But if you lean that way, Dr. Sears' book The Birth Book is also along those lines and very helpful.

Spend a lot of time reading right now, and squat (with your feet flat on the floor) while you are playing with your other kids!

[chicklet]

with my first, my water broke and I sat in the hospital for 2 days waiting for labor to start. It didn't and I was induced ( couldn't find that page in my well read copy of The Birth Book). she was born in 5 hours - I didnt even have time to check my Bradley notes. that birth was just a confusing blur of pain & stress. with my second, my contractions were 10 minutes apart for 4 hours, tried all the natural labor boosts. as soon as I got into the shower - boom ! 2 min apart. 1 1/2 hours later he was out. with him, I just sort of knew what I had to do. I had to stay hydrated so labor wouldn't lag, stay relaxed ( absolutely the most difficult thing I have EVER had to do) and just let my body do its job. I can honestly say I enjoyed that birth experience and was able to bond with my son much easier and more naturally. so I pooped on the ob, hey- things happen!

[Rollermommy]

chicklet, pooping on the dr. is one of my biggest fears, but I'm trying to be in mindset that sometimes it happens, no big deal. And yes, I'm totally determined to have a natural birth (unless there is a life-threatning emergency). I went yesterday to the library to get the books you guys suggested and they didn't have any of them, but they did order them from other libraries and they'll be here soon. I did get a book and video called Gentle Birth Choices and it was wonderful. I got the husband-coached childbirth book, but its kinda hard to read. Looking at all of them left me so encouraged and empowered feeling. I would love to have a homebirth but I'm "high-risk". I keep having these dreams that I wait too long to go to the hospital(which is an hour away) and end up having her at home or in the car. I think that's just wishful thinking
BTW, why do the squatting thing?

[LGSW]

Squatting

Squatting is an excellent way to condition your pelvis before labor and birth and get it used to opening up for the baby to come through. I suggested that you do it when you are playing on the floor with your kids because if you try to squat in labor (which is an excellent way to work with gravity) and have not done this before, your legs will not be strong enough to handle it. It really is a type of exercize. You have to condition your muscles.

I try to do it sometimes when I am watching TV or something (not when we have friends over, it looks kinda goofy!)

If you watch young children, they naturally squat when they are down near the ground doing something. Adults in our culture refrain from squatting and instead kneel or sit.

Probably all of the birth books mentioned will have good diagrams with different variations of the squat for you to use during labor (i.e., the standing supported squat, the full squat, etc)

Lindsey

[Charmie981]

Two more things about squatting: in labor, it opens the OUTLET of your pelvis up to 15% more than a regular stand. Therefore it's a great position to increase your progress if your baby is already well engaged. If you want to get baby engaged, walking opens the INLET of your pelvis so baby's head can get down there.

When you practice squatting, your goal is to be able to squat with your feet flat on the floor for 10-15 minutes or so. If you practice squatting on your toes, you'll soon realize that it's much more tiring, although it is an easier position for untrained legs to get into.

HTH!

[gurumama]

I squatted CONSTANTLY during the last 4 months of my pregnancy. When I took my 3 yo to the playground I would grab onto a bar above and use it for a supported squat while he played, squat at home, etc.

when ds2 was born it was quick and easy--he was sooooo engaged!

mel