A few days ago my husbands friend's wife and high school sweetheart was killed in a car accident. They had been together since they were 16 years old. She was 33 years old when she died and mother to two beautiful children ages 5 and 11. She was on her way to work in the early morning when she lost contol of her car. It was a single car accident. I am just overcome with grief for this family. I knew her and we had dinner with them several times. I went to a party at their house. She made me feel so at home. She was such a wonderful person. I just cannot imagine how one deals with the loss of a mate. I keep playing the details in my head. She worked in the family restaurant. The dad called the husband while he was at work wondering where she was. She was late again. The husband is a police officer. He got word of an accident on the route she was traveling and called other police oficers to get more information. He found out it was his wife that was in the accident. At that time he did not know she was already gone. My husband was on his way to court that morning and dropped everything and turned around to go back to the precinct. He said he grabbed him crying and saying "she's gone, she's gone!". It just kills me to know how much pain he and his family are in.
Yesterday were the calling hours. My husband said he just howled in grief.
How can we help him through his pain? I plan to send food to work with dh to give him to feed him and the kids every week or so for a good long time. I know people tend to go away after a few weeks. What else can we do? Would it be appropriate for me to write him a letter about her? I remember how my dh said I would really like her after the first time he met her. I remember how she called her little girl "mama". I remember how she sent my dh some homemade banana pudding she had made for her family. She sent it to work with her dh to give to my dh. She sent other things too from time to time. She was a very giving person. She once came to our Christmas party and brought my dd a cute little outfit.
Please tell me what would help him? I know it takes time but there must be something my family can do.
Yesterday were the calling hours. My husband said he just howled in grief.
How can we help him through his pain? I plan to send food to work with dh to give him to feed him and the kids every week or so for a good long time. I know people tend to go away after a few weeks. What else can we do? Would it be appropriate for me to write him a letter about her? I remember how my dh said I would really like her after the first time he met her. I remember how she called her little girl "mama". I remember how she sent my dh some homemade banana pudding she had made for her family. She sent it to work with her dh to give to my dh. She sent other things too from time to time. She was a very giving person. She once came to our Christmas party and brought my dd a cute little outfit.Please tell me what would help him? I know it takes time but there must be something my family can do.
. Being for him right now in the moment is helpful, but during the holidays or on the monthly anniversery date of death, when others may have forgotten, remember him. Send him a card, call him to let him know that you were thinking of her on the anniversery day/mother's day/birthday. Listen and hold him as he cries and screams. Food is always helpful too. Again, not only for now, but in the future.
