1st c-sec, what do you think now?

[alexsam]

I just feel the need to vent a tiny bit... Often there is so much (totally justified) resistance to c-sections that occasionally we who genuinely needed them feel the backlash. Without going into the details, I just wanted to express to the universe (or MDC!) that I am so thankful that I was able to have the medical attention that we needed so that both me and my baby survived birth (via emergency c-section). I am thankful that we had sensitive, knowledgeable doctors, that we had a clean hospital and operating room, that we had the benefits of medicine and specialists for delivery and recovery. Our birth was far from "perfect" and nothing like we planned, but we ARE HERE- healthy baby and mamma! I hope for #2 we can have a VBAC and in no way would have chosen a c-section over a vaginal delivery, but it was a life saver, literaly, and I do not regret it one stich (or staple)!

So, now that it is all over, how do YOU all feel about your c-sections? Am I the only one who is "happy" with the c-section (though it was not, nor will be, a preferred choice)? I've just been hearing so much lately about horrible c-section experiences... If it can be "good" (which I think it can, considering the alternatives in some situations!), I'd like to say that I had one as good as it can get! It was not the end of my world to have a birth that was not what I thought it would be. In fact, it was the begining!

[Storm Bride]

I'm sure you're not the only one who's happy with her section. OnTheFence, who started the c-section support threads, is fine with hers, for example.

Me? I hate them. I've had three. I didn't want them. I don't believe they were necessary. And, I'm suffering from side effects that nobody ever warned me about. I'm glad sections are available when they're needed - I don't believe my mother or my brother would be here today without them. (And, neither would I, as my brother is older than me.) But, I despise the way they're used today...doctors treat them as though they're no more complicated or dangerous than trimming a hangnail.

[AmyGirl28]

While I am not in the least bit happy about my c-section, I don't condemn those who do have them. I do feel that mine was necessary due to the circumstances. I was induced for Pre-E/HELLP, only progressed to 3cm after 20 hours of labor, and doctor suggested c-section. It wasn't life or death, but it could have been. The recovery was beyond awful. I am trying for VBAC this time. But I have come to terms with what happened and I have accepted that it is likely that it could happen again. However, I would like to avoid a c-section at all costs. I think the best that we can expect from mamas that have had c-sections is that they just find a way to come to terms with what happened and heal from it. I don't expect anyone to be happy about it. Happy that they and their baby are safe... YES, but happy about a c-section... NO.

[JustVanessa]

I had preeclampsia and had labour induced at 37 weeks due to my liver and kidneys starting to fail. I was in early labour for 3 days before they started pitocin and labour actually progressed. As soon as my water broke my son went into distress. Turns out he was sunny side up and forhead presenting. I then had an emergency c-section. Is it what I planned....of course not. But neither was the preeclampsia, 3 days of labour etc. I am very glad that my son and I lived through the birth process, I believe it was due to me having the c-section. So I can definatly say that I have mixed feelings about it.

[Ben's Mommy]

I don't have good nor bad feelings about my c-sec. I do have very bad feelings about my whole labor process, as I did not get the whole "healthy baby, healthy mommy" situation. But as far as my c-sec goes, it wasn't what I was hoping for, but I do not hate that I had one. I have had a good recovery, so I think that has helped also. There are many supportive ladies on the C-Section Support Thread who have feelings both ways and it's a great place to vent!

[Sagesgirl]

I don't like having had my c-sections, but I know they were the only realistic choice at the time. You just don't deliver footling breeches vaginally in the hospital.

That said, I see where you're coming from. It's too easy to say 'Well, many c-sections are unnecessary' and then make the leap of (il)logic to say that "The vast majority of c-sections are unnecessary.' Personally, I'm not very fond of jumping in to second-guess a woman's method of birth, unless she is the one who brings it up. (In other words, I see a strong difference between "I think my c-section was unnecessary" and "You shouldn't have let them do that to you!")

[MsMoMpls]

I had so much pain and grief about my first that I didn't face it or go to the doctor for years. I didn't even know I felt that way until 17 years later when I faced my second pregnacy.

I don't feel as bad about my second. I understand it and I had a better say in it. After 40 insane hours of off and on labor and dilated to 9 and then losing ground, it was my decision to throw in the towel. But it felt like throwing in the towel. I was just out of my mind exhausted.

I made peace with the strong possiblity that my third could be a C-sect. There was no way I was going to be able to hang in there 40 hours twice. But making peace with the possiblility really helped me be able to be VBA2C.

I never judge a woman's choice (ok- I try not to judge) but I do judge doctors very harshly. They should be helping women get the best birth possible and I don't think they are.

[stafl]

It was the very worst thing that has ever happened to me, and I'll carry around the trauma forever. It was worse than being raped. At least when I was raped, nobody justified and made up excuses for my abusers actions, or told me he did it for my own good.

[loudmama]

C-sections can be a lifesaver. Some women need them. There is no reason to feel badly if you feel your's was necessary.

However, with about 27% of babies born via c-section, one has to wonder. Are c-sections needed as much as they are happening, or are there other factors involved? Sadly, obstetrics is not always evidence based, but fear based.

Women are manipulated & coerced into c-sections. Women are not always given all the info & are often not even given the time to ask questions or even time to process what has happened. I wish that were not the case. This is not to say that all Dr's do this because they are bad people, its just what they believe to be true.

For the most part, I believe my c-section was needed. DD wasn't in distress, but after 7 hours of unmedicated pushing, I was pretty sure she wasn't moving. What I have realized, though, is that the reason I feel less regret over my c-section is that I feel like we were in control. We made the choice to go that long. We tried just about everything we knew to do. I let the CNM & the attending OB know that we were in charge. Even when it came down to deciding on possible forceps or c-section, I made my DH read the consent form they wanted me to sign.

As a doula, that is my main goal, to make the parents feel like they are in charge. To give them the space they need. The 2 c-sections I have attended, the big thing I gave these parents is time. Time to ask questions & time to process the situation. They still would have wished for vaginal deliveries, but at least they felt they had some control. Sometimes the care providers are just going about what they feel is right, & don't think about the patient. Its not always maliciousness on their part, they just don't always think about it.

Maybe I'm rambling. I think we need to accept folks w/where they are at. Some folks need c-sections & some don't. Listen to their stories & try to be there for them.

L

[ruby slippers]

Having a c-section was not what i wanted but of course i am grateful for the health of myself and my baby. I would have liked to have a positve birth experience and a healthy baby.....am I asking for too much?

stafl

[AngelaB]

I was uneducated at the time of my c-section and blame myself for not researching the process more. The hospital I was at did not have any qualified doctors to deliver a breech even if I would have refused the surgery. I didnt have any complications and neither did my son. However if I were to have anouther c-section (only in emergency, I have had a vbac since) I know what to ask for as far as mother baby bonding goes. I have provisions set in my birth plan to address c-section. I will not let my baby be washed, pricked, dressed, hair combed and whatever else while I sit by myself in recovery and my family watches the baby from behind glass like at an ape exhibit. The baby will not leave me unless life or death emergency and my husband will hold baby to my breast to nurse if he needs to .
I dont have horrible feelings of loss and regret, however I WILL NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN. I have had a successful VBAC to a 10 pound baby after 42 hours of labor and we did great! I also beleive that if you have to have a section to save lives there are things you can do to make it as much of a beautiful experience as possible. I dont think the hospital puts enough work into helping families achieve this.

[GatorNNP]

I can say as far as the birth, I had a great c/section. It was planned (sort of) at 41 weeks 5 days found out DS was dbl footling breech, so I had about 4 days to get used to the idea. We had a doctor I know personally and like, I hand picked my favorite nurse anesthetist for my spinal (I have had hair cuts that were more painful!) We had elvis music playing, my closest friends were the baby's nurse and nurse practitioner (ped doesn't attend delivery) and my close pal helped get my DH and 4 family members and my homebirth midwife (who has never seen a c/section) into the OR for the occasion. I had wonderful black/white photography of the event. I was recovered in my private room with my infant in my room instead of the nursery etc. I even had a donut and a milk shake 15 minutes out of the OR since I was starving. Nurses break all the rules and are terrible patients!

Now as far as liking the idea of it, I hated the very thought of a c/sec. I dreaded it for 4 days. It took almost a year to focus on the positive memories and to try to forget some of the anxiety from the days before, the pain and discomfort of the days after. I also had some heavy bleeding which didn't get dealt with until my spinal had worn off, I was heavily medicated (my request) for the on call doc (who I couldn't stand) to come expel clots from my freshly chopped up uterus. I have had many moments of self doubt, anger at my body, the silly upside down baby, and the midwife for not figuring out earlier his position. Logically I know it can be easy to miss, trying to deliver vag dbl footling breech is risker than I prefer to take (I have even delivered one myself as a nurse, so yes I know it is possible) and all that yada yada yada. So I have the mixed feelings, yes it went well, but I still don't have to like it

I think I may feel the same way about any kind of surgery though. They are helpful usually, but do we have to like it or be happy about it? I don't think so.

[Mama Coltrane]

my 2 yr old ds was born via c section and my 6 week old ds was a vbac.
there is much joy and strength involved with their entrances into this world.
i feel so proud when i tell both of their birth stories.

[mrs.felt]

i was wondering the same thing myself. i had a c-section and i was very happy with it. i was blessed with an easy recovery (by no means as easy as a vaginal delivery) and most importantly, my son was born safely, which would not have been possible with a vaginal delivery in our situation. i have a great relationship with my OB and he never pressured me into anything and supported me emotionally, which i think made the surgery & recovery easier because i was more relaxed and knew what to expect.

i was very much a part of the decision-making involved with my birth, and noah never left my side. my husband held him next to me while i was stiched up, then we all went to the recovery room together where the nurse helped me breastfeed him and then we bathed him, did his newborn procedures, bundled him up and went to our postpartum suite. (our hospital doesn't have a nursery, all babies room-in.) admittedly, the first twelve hours or so were tough, but as soon as they unhooked the IV, cath & encouraged me to get out of bed, etc. i felt good.

i am not ashamed of my decision and i'm not embarrased to tell anyone that i had a c-section. i share my birth story proudly!

that said, i will be planning a VBAC with future pregnancies. i cant imagine having another c-section if it's not medically necessary, but if i end up needing another cesarean delivery, i am at peace with that. the end result is what matters most.

[KiwiZ]

Originally Posted by Mama Coltrane

my 2 yr old ds was born via c section and my 6 week old ds was a vbac.
there is much joy and strength involved with their entrances into this world.
i feel so proud when i tell both of their birth stories.

That is how I feel! My 4.5 yo was born via c-sect and my 2 yo was born via VBAC. Both had their pros/cons, yet both were sacred to me

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Mama Coltrane

i feel so proud when i tell both of their birth stories.

I don't even like calling mine "birth stories", because I still don't feel that I gave birth. I make my children's birthdays as big a deal as I can, partly because it distracts me from thinking about the fact their birthdays are also the anniversaries of my sections. I guess I had easy recoveries with my last two, as people have commented on how well I bounce back. But, I don't think of those recoveries as easy. They were pure hell, and my last one more-or-less deprived dd of her mother for several weeks.

I'm not proud of how my children got here. I'm not ashamed, either. I don't really feel that I had anything to do with it. My gut feeling is that having babies is something I should be there for, and I wasn't.

[mighty-mama]

I'm happy. I do realize I had an actual reason for a section. Up until that I had a wonderfully unassited birth. No monitors, no meds, able to walk, eat. Had 3 hrs of pushing, in numerous positions. My ds was in a occiput brow presentation, rare but possible. I think this occured from 9 wks of bed rest. But I'm okay with the outcome. I was glad to give him all 23 hrs of labor. Actually I was induced 5 days earlier and left the hospital, so I fought for him and let him go on his terms. I'm glad I tried for him.

I didn't feel like I bonded less w/ him. Actually the hospital was quite wonderful and my ds was in my husbands arms while I was in the recovering room, so I was only away from him for 1/2 hr. I immediately nursed him and although I was groggy I didn't miss anything. I did have complications and needed a transfusion, but still didn't miss a beat. It's funny 'cause the hospital kept asking my husband if I always looked this pale and he said yes. They didn't realize until the next day I was missing 1/2 my blood. But kudos my milk came in in under 48 hrs.

[lizziejackie]

My c/s was both the best and the worst experience in my life. Worst, b/c it left me devastated, unbonded with my child and feeling empty...and a whole world out there to justify why I felt that way. Best, b/c it forced me to educate myself about birth, babies, nutrition, even other alternative or crunchy forms of life that I would have never thought about being or using up until this traumatic c/s. My c/s led me to a lot of really wonderful people and a really empowering VBAC that was truly the best experience in my life. While I still hate that c/s, I am -- in a round about way -- a lot better of a person for it. I think that's God's way of letting find peace and the best of a really crappy situation.

Just about every c/s is ultimately "needed". It's the factors leading up to a c/s that are the trouble...Yes, a baby is in distress, but why? Was it induced? Was it riddled w/ epidurals and pitocin? Yes, that baby is OP, but did anyone ever consider positioning during pgcy or different labor positions? Yes, your baby is big, but did anyone consider that perhaps a bigger baby will come out easier when the mom goes into labor on it's own rather than being induced? I feel that c/s are just the apex of a birthing practice gone terribly wrong. Birth is a natural process, I just can't say that enough. Yes, I know a properly exercised c/s has it's place and time and they do save babies, but I feel they are a true example of too much of a good thing...we are blanketing our society with so many interventions (and c/s) that we are, ultimately, destroying a lot more babies and births than what we are saving.

[Storm Bride]

If my first c/s was needed, it's only because nobody knew how to handle a breech. There was no labour management or interventions, as I'd only been at the hospital about 10 or 15 minutes (including checking in and changing) when they started prepping me for surgery.

[crunchymomof2]

Originally Posted by lizziejackie

Best, b/c it forced me to educate myself about birth, babies, nutrition, even other alternative or crunchy forms of life that I would have never thought about being or using up until this traumatic c/s..

That was the one best thing I could think about my c/s too. If that hadnt happened we probably wouldnt have homebirthed dd.

Originally Posted by lizziejackie

Just about every c/s is ultimately "needed". It's the factors leading up to a c/s that are the trouble...

This was true of my c/s. I was induced and had an epidural and AROM. All of which led to poor head position and late decels. At that point I needed the c/s. Ultimately I had to take responsibility for that. The Dr was doing what he was trained to do. Thats why I chose hbac with a midwife.