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Mom left kids in car, I called 911; Right action? - Page 6

post #101 of 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by hhurd
No, not whatever. The phrase "culture of fear" comes from the title of a well known (1999 NYT bestseller) book by USC professor Barry Glassner. It's called "The Culture of Fear, Why Americans are Afraid of the Wrong Things: Crime, Drugs, Minorities, Teen Moms, Killer Kids, Mutant Microbes, Plane Crashes, Road Rage, & So Much More." Prof. Glassner was featured in Michael Moore's documentary "Bowling for Columbine," which you might have seen.

You might want to take a look at the book. Or not. Whatever.
Oooh. So maybe those guys really did want to give me a puppy and candy? My mistrust was wrong. Rock on. Or maybe they were a fiction created by the media. Well, I suppose parents are doing their kids a favor by leaving them in the car while out doing retail therapy, as there is nothing to be concerned about. Um, okay. I'm out of this discussion...

OT, I am familiar with that book. He also says that abuse by priests was very uncommon in comparison to the "fear" surrounding them, and bashes Andrew Greeley. He also mocks people who think their children were harmed by the DPT vaccine, which our pediatric group also insisted was a bad vaccine with serious reactions for many children. I suppose they are fearmongering. He has some good points, and on others, he's way off.
post #102 of 150
Having been a child that was left in the car frequently (often watching my 1 nd 2 year old siblings) I can say that it was not fun. I absolutely hated it and I was terrified being left in the car. Not something that I would ever do to my kids.

Sure people get struct by lightning, you take steps to avoid it happening, like not let your kids play outside in a storm. I think not letting your kids alone in what could potentially be a dangerous situation isn't being over protective, it's being cautious.
post #103 of 150
To Op- I don't think you need to feel bad or apologetic for your actions. That was a tough situation.
post #104 of 150
I'll have to read Culture of Fear. Sounds like something w/which I agree.

I don't think 911 & police involvement was necessary. Remember that mother who smacked her kid in a parking lot? Some sort of travelling gypsy clan? I think that sort of situation does warrant police intervention. But, not this. Especially not as the situation was described. Just waiting nearby and talking to the Mom prob. would've been effective if she was receptive.

A mom here left her kids in a locked car for just a couple of minutes and was put in jail immediately. I don't remember the outcome, etc. but remember being shocked at how severe the consequences were. And, long lasting I would imagine.
post #105 of 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by KristiMetz
ICould it possibly be that the media has sensationalized kidnappings and "stranger danger" to the extent that it has become ingrained in all of us to be paranoid about a fear that is, not nonexistent, but very very slim?

Absolutely.
post #106 of 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by hhurd
Absolutely.
Sure that's true but why risk it?
post #107 of 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by KristiMetz
Could it possibly be that the media has sensationalized kidnappings and "stranger danger" to the extent that it has become ingrained in all of us to be paranoid about a fear that is, not nonexistent, but very very slim?
I don't really care how slim the chance of my child being kidnapped is, it is still there. I really can think of nothing worse than my child being at the whim of some freak, and I will always do everything in my power to avoid that possibility. I think it is irresponsible to expose children to that risk, no matter how slim the chance of it happening.

To the OP, I probably would have waited around for the mom to come back and talked to her, but it was a tough situation and you did what you could.

Carrie
post #108 of 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharlla
Having been a child that was left in the car frequently (often watching my 1 nd 2 year old siblings) I can say that it was not fun. I absolutely hated it and I was terrified being left in the car. Not something that I would ever do to my kids.
I'm curious if there is anyone on this board who was left in a car with younger sibs to watch who would do the same thing to their kids? People who went through this as kids seem universal in their feeling that it is a mean thing to do to a child.

I was never left in a car as a child. My grandparents used to leave my mom in a car while they went into bars to drink. She considers it a form of child neglect to leave a child in a car. I don't think there is a difference between leaving a kid in a car to shop and leaving a kid in the car to have a quick drink. Both seem pretty stupid to me.

I honestly cannot believe that moms who are AP can believe that it is OK to leave children unattended in a car. Sleep with your babies, don't use a sitter, and then leave them in the car and go shopping
post #109 of 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move
I'm curious if there is anyone on this board who was left in a car with younger sibs to watch who would do the same thing to their kids? People who went through this as kids seem universal in their feeling that it is a mean thing to do to a child.

I was never left in a car as a child. My grandparents used to leave my mom in a car while they went into bars to drink. She considers it a form of child neglect to leave a child in a car. I don't think there is a difference between leaving a kid in a car to shop and leaving a kid in the car to have a quick drink. Both seem pretty stupid to me.

I honestly cannot believe that moms who are AP can believe that it is OK to leave children unattended in a car. Sleep with your babies, don't use a sitter, and then leave them in the car and go shopping
My 13 year old daughter BEGS to be left in the car, and has for years.
She doesnt always want to stop listining to her music, or readnig her book or whatever.
After she was 8 or 9 or so I would let her stay in the car alone for a quick run into the store. (alone) and after her siblings came, it has been natural for her to stay in the car with them too.
WHen given the choice between helping me corral my 3 toddlers and just staying in the car with them it is is HER choice to stay in the car.
So I would not say it is universal that all kids hate it.
In fact I would say that some children even prefer it.

joline
post #110 of 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move
I honestly cannot believe that moms who are AP can believe that it is OK to leave children unattended in a car. Sleep with your babies, don't use a sitter, and then leave them in the car and go shopping
It was only a matter of time before the "good AP mama" checklist made an appearance I guess...

To all the people who wouldn't risk leaving their children in the car alone, don't do it. No one is advocating that you do. Just don't be calling the police on people who make different choices because you can imagine all the things that could possibly go wrong. Remember that the tables can turn quickly and something you choose to do could strike someone else as "neglect."
post #111 of 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move
I'm curious if there is anyone on this board who was left in a car with younger sibs to watch who would do the same thing to their kids? People who went through this as kids seem universal in their feeling that it is a mean thing to do to a child.
My parents left me in the car frequently (I requested it frequently too) so I could read and listen to music while they did boring adult stuff. I didn't have any younger sibs though so I don't know about that.

Quote:
I honestly cannot believe that moms who are AP can believe that it is OK to leave children unattended in a car. Sleep with your babies, don't use a sitter, and then leave them in the car and go shopping
I don't think anyone here is arguing that it's ideal, just questioning how dangerous it really is and whether it's worth calling the police on someone for.
post #112 of 150
I would have shouted my head off in the store before calling police. And I would have phrased it to the mom as "There is a woman out there who wants me to call the police because your kids are in the car."

I do not ever leave my kids in the car and I won't when they're older, either. I live in a dangerous neighborhood and my DH is very paranois, so that influences my thinking.

I'm always surprised by people who leave their kids in the car. My friend leaves her 8 y.o. son in the car while she grocery shops. Another frined leaves her 2 year old in the car if she's asleep and she is shopping a "safe distance." I really don't get it!!
post #113 of 150
My mom used to leave me and my younger brother in the car all the time. She'd be in Kmart or whatever and we'd be out in the car, alternately playing and fighting. :LOL Nothing ever happened to us, but...

My DH was TWO years old, and his parents brought him to a cemetary. They got out of the car, and walked a few feet away to a headstone. My FIL had taken the keys out of the ignition and left them on the dashboard.

My TWO YEAR OLD DH picked up the keys, found the right one, started the car and had it in reverse by the time his dad caught up to him. He'd driven over a few headstones at that point :LOL

Funny now, but just one of the several billion things that could go wrong leaving kids in a car. Who ever would have thought that he'd be able to start the car AND get it in gear? But he did.

I won't leave my kids in a car, even if I'm running in for a second.
post #114 of 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move
I'm curious if there is anyone on this board who was left in a car with younger sibs to watch who would do the same thing to their kids? People who went through this as kids seem universal in their feeling that it is a mean thing to do to a child.
I was, with two sisters two and four years younger than me. We were never scared, in fact we LOVED being away from parental supervision for a few minutes. We had a lot of fun. But then, we were not brought up to believe that kidnappers were lurking about waiting for us. We walked to school by ourselves as well, once I was old enough (8) to be trusted to take the other two across the street. I had a friend whose mother still picked her up and dropped her off when she was 10. All the other kids used to tease her about this, it was considered babyish in the extreme. This, by the way, was in New York City in the 1970s.
post #115 of 150
Joline, I guess I would have to agree with you on most of your posts!!!!

I think the original poster did what she thought was right and she didn't know how long those kids had actually sat there. So that was understandable...
I think i would also do what I could do b4 calling the police, which the original poster did...

I would never leave my kids to go shopping but to run in and pay for gas or get a soda...?? or run in the house b/c i forgot something. I don't think that is necessarily wrong. If it was against the law in my state, i wouldn't do it... b/c it would be against the law... I have never leave my kids where I can't see them but i have left them to go pay for gas and etc... I am a military spouse whose husband isn't always around... and we live in places where we don't always know people... You don't know the situation the mother was in... I also don't agree with what she did, but again we don't know her situation.

But I think that you all are getting all upset and everything over something that is over and done.... It is a good thing to talk about it, b/c it does make us think twice when we are in similar situations( as in the op or the mom)... but to get rude with other people on this site.... that is uncalled for.



Kimberly
post #116 of 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by KristiMetz
I don't mean this in a confrontational way at all... but why do you think you've chosen to focus on THAT particular statistic?

After all... there are MANY things that are far more likely to happen to children... getting struck by lightening, for example. Or, having an accident in the home. Or, something that is also horrible - being molested by a friend or relative.

Could it possibly be that the media has sensationalized kidnappings and "stranger danger" to the extent that it has become ingrained in all of us to be paranoid about a fear that is, not nonexistent, but very very slim?

Honestly I don't just worry about this. I also worry about lightening, choking, falling.....the list I worry about is endless. I do what I can to make the risks less but still let my children live thier lives. They do NOT need to be left alone in a car, they are only 5 & 7 and one day I may feel they are old enough to be left, but for right now I don't.

Nurturing Mama you and I are on the same page. I don't care how small the risk is, the fact is there IS a risk and I am not willing to take it with my children. Just like I am not willing to let my children ride their bikes all over the neighborhood unsupervised, they just don't need to do that and run the risk of being taken. I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to my child and I could have prevented it. Parents all make decisions that they think are best, in no way do I think leaving a 9 year old in charge of an infant is a good idea, but again that is MY opinion. If ppl want to take what I feel are risks that is their choice and if something does happen they have to deal with it, not me, kwim
post #117 of 150
Even though we think that a 7-10 yo child is responsible enough to look after a baby, I wouldn't suggest to left them inside the care. You will never know when accidents will happen.
post #118 of 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by johub
My 13 year old daughter BEGS to be left in the car, and has for years.
She doesnt always want to stop listining to her music, or readnig her book or whatever.
After she was 8 or 9 or so I would let her stay in the car alone for a quick run into the store. (alone) and after her siblings came, it has been natural for her to stay in the car with them too.
WHen given the choice between helping me corral my 3 toddlers and just staying in the car with them it is is HER choice to stay in the car.
So I would not say it is universal that all kids hate it.
In fact I would say that some children even prefer it.

joline
My sibilings and I loved staying in the car. My mom always gave us a choice, and about half the time we'd stay in the car. I'm the oldest, and never felt burdened by "watching" my sibilings.

My ds1 is almost 13, and ds2 is 3. I will leave them in the car to go to the ATM, or run into the bank.
post #119 of 150
Here on the store doors they have signs that say "no kids left in cars" It's sad they have to make signs for something that should be common sense!

If I saw small kids in a car I would have waited by the car too and if the mom didnt come out, I'd probably call too. Better safe than sorry IMO. I used to "watch" my brothers in the car when I was a kid too but they werent babies and I still hated it cause they always argued and drove me nuts! LOL Or one would jump out of the car and I was supposed to be keeping them in but they wouldnt listen cause "you are not the mom!" bla bla bla......

Sure sometimes it would be nice to be able to leave ds in the car after he fell asleep in his carseat so I could run a package to the post office and not lug him out with my big pregnant self but it's not the safest for HIM, it would just be convienent for ME, which would be totally selfish IMO. Not to mention if he got stolen, hurt, hit by a car, woke up crying, hot (we live in a hot climate)......I would absolutely want to die because he would be hurt because of something I did wrong, yk? Why chance it?
post #120 of 150
If it was here (where the afternoon temp is still in the high 90's to triple digits), I'd have called the cops in a heartbeat, assuming I couldn't persuade the older kid to roll down the windows or open the door. If I could, then I'd have gotten the kids out of the car, including the baby, and stood with them beside it until the mother came out of the store, or, maybe, had the older one call mom on the cell phone and tell her to get outside because a crazy lady made them get out of the car.

10 minutes in a car in the sun here is enough to endanger a baby's life, even with tinted windows.
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