Can't get away....
I'm sorry for upsetting a few people with the comment I made a few pages back about people shouldn't be able to pay some money to become a mother.
What are the answers to all of this?
I can't escape it. Just like that again i'm sucked back into the emotional pull adoption has always had on my life, that i've desperately tried to escape so many times.
I guess theres not a perfect answer for everyone. Not one law that will meet the needs of every child. I do know, however, that there are laws in effect in other countries such as australia, that work far better than the U.S. laws. And I firmly believe that the U.S. hasn't "adopted" ( no pun intended ) these laws because of the financial gain it makes from the adoption industry.
There are adopted individuals who unlike myself, don't have the passion to find their natural families for whatever reasons. That doesn't mean that the ones who do, such as myself, should have our rights and feelings overlooked. Which is one reason why I try very hard never to debate or argue with other adopted people on beliefs regarding adoption. We process it however we do and thats whats right for us, my point being, for those who desire it, Adopted people deserve equal rights to non adopted people.
I as an adopted person, deserve my original records and my original birth certificate, and I shouldn't have to jump through hoops and fire pits in order to get what is rightfully mine. I don't believe that my aparents changing my name without my consent was right. If years down the road, I wanted my name to be what theirs was, and expressed a desire to amend it, then so be it, but thats not what happens. Legal guardianship may feel like the child being property to some, but I feel like property to my adopted parents at times too. And I didn't have a bad life with them growing up. Thats just what happens to me when money has been exchanged for my delivery. Or when I'm told i was cheaper because they checked the box for accepting mixed race babies.
Where oh where am I going with this.....
Australia, recognized the flaws in their system and amended it. The following year there was a handful of adoptions compared to the thousands from the previous year. Adoptees can now access their original birth certificate and natural parents can access their adopted childs amended birth certificate. Their govt. assigned a number of organizations to all have access to all adopted persons information ie medical history, adoption records, court ordered documents, birth certificates etc. So the adoptees don't have to track down the place they were adopted from and just be out of luck if their papers were lost, burned in a fire, destroyed, or their agency is now closed.
And I have to wonder why, if majority of adoptees were found to be for this act, why were majority of adoptive parents opposed to it?
Their system works far better than ours here in the U.S. So why not take baby steps towards making that a way of life here? Why do people just continue to accept the system here? I guess thats what it really boils down to for me. I feel like, if someone is adopting a child, and surrendering a child through the current system, they in a way are supporting it. That goes for overseas adoptions as well.
I'm not saying that everyone should just stop helping the children who need it and need the help NOW, but does anyone else believe that if we all just put our foot down. That if the demand suddenly changed, to one that helped the child, AND demanded equal rights for the adoptee that it would happen?
The last group of individuals to be denied these same rights, were slaves. Other countries have amended their laws to honor the adopted and parents considering surrendering their rights. So I know its possible. This is what it boils down to for me. Change needs to happen. And until it does worldwide, I will not believe in adoption.
If anyone would like to read up on Adoption Laws in Australia click HERE
here is also a quick summary of the act:
Summary of basic principles of the Act
6.9 To sum up, the following may be regarded as the basic principles of the Act:
Providing rights to adult adopted persons and birth parents to birth certificates and thus to identifying information about each other, such rights being absolute in that their exercise cannot be prevented or limited by the person to whom the information relates, or by other persons.
Protecting the full parental rights of adoptive parents, and providing, in addition, rights to non-identifying information about the birth family during the adopted person's childhood.
Protecting the privacy of birth parents and adopted persons by making provision for each of them to forbid unwanted contact resulting from the release of identifying information under the Act.
Protecting the privacy of all persons by limiting the disclosure of information that unduly intrudes on their privacy; this provision would not however limit the disclosure of information which was necessarily involved in giving effect to the information rights created by the Act.
Providing to members of the family, on a discretionary basis, information relating to a deceased adopted person or birth parent.
Facilitating reunions between adopted persons, birth parents, and other people approved by the Director-General, where those persons have indicated their desire for such reunions.
I really need to stay away from this thread lol but i just can't.