Open to suggestions o handling toddler and dogs...

[ShadowMom]

I thought my DS was getting a lot better with the dogs, but in the last month or so he has just gotten terrible.

He will do things such as...

* Walk up and poke their ears until they squeal (this is horrifying. He has only done this once that I knew of and I just couldn't get to him in time. There is nothing worse than hearing your dog yelp and knowing it's because someone has POKED HIM IN THE EAR!!! I have to admit I freaked out when he did this)

* Hold onto our shepherd mix by the fur on her back and push her, like she's a push toy...

* Climb on the dogs (more accurately, he will sort of climb OVER them... like they're a fun sort of bridge)

* Pinch them

* Pull their tails


I would really appreciate any suggestions. Basically how I handle it now is to tell him no, that hurts the dog, pet him/her gently, open hands, no tail, and so on... stuff like that.

It's like he's just too young to be able to handle them appropriately... and he has gotten growled at a few times now, which makes me EXTREMELY nervous.

So the dogs are spending a lot of time in their bedroom with the door shut (basically whenever I can't constantly supervise and intervene, or when I just need a break) ... it makes me very sad to isolate them this way. Our dogs have always been a part of our family. One of them is in remission from lymphoma and I feel terrible that his last months are being spent like this.

Any suggestions? Anything at all I can do to help the situation? I have heard from people here whose 3 year olds are doing this... is it just not going to get better for, like, another couple of years?

[maciascl]

I have no suggestions, we are in the same boat. I just wanted to give this a bump because I am intrested in what suggestions other may have as well.

[Fuamami]

I think you're definitely on the right track, especially when you say that your ds is too young to handle them gently. I think it's a fine motor development/self-control issue, and to expect otherwise is asking for trouble.

We have an older dog with arthritis who is a little grumpy, and we do the same thing. We keep them isolated. We also have a Queensland heeler who puts up with all sorts of abuse from her, but has never shown a negative reaction so we pretty much let them work it out. Now she's getting better at being gentle, and they actually spend a lot of time playing fetch.

You probably realize this, but I think that an older, sick dog and a toddler are a dangerous combination. I wouldn't feel too guilty for protecting your dog and your son by keeping them apart. I've heard a lot of stories about older dogs who had never growled at anyone in their lives and were startled by a young child and bit them severely. I wouldn't take any chances.

[carla72]

Hi My daughtr just turned 16 months (she has a huge vocabulary and is already a toddler) she was hitting my dog,pinching,poking etc. We kept doing the same as you. ahhhh poor sisco that hurts her!! give her a hug. Gentle touch etc. It took a few months but now she goes up to sisco hugs her and says ahhhhh love sisco We started having her "help to walk, feed and bath the dog and that seemed to help as well. She likes to give her cookies too. When my dd is nice to the dog she gives her a cookie. the last month has been great. I didn't leave dd and dog alone together. If I had to leave the room I would either bring the dog or the baby.
Hang in there!!

[hannahnc]

It's encouraging to read the success stories of teaching the little ones how to be 'gentle' with the four-legged family members! My daughter is ~10mos, but VERY mobile. We always watch her with the dogs and cats. I've been taking her hand and softly petting the cats while telling her gentle and try to keep her from grabbing their tails. As for the dogs, luckily THEY already know gentle and are quite gentle when Elli has food. She likes to hold the food out to the dogs and they take it from her SO carefully! But when there's not food involved, they're not interested in interaction with her. We try to do the same as with the cats- and show her how to be gentle. But because they are so much bigger than her (they're around 50lbs each), she really wants to climb on them!