Things you shouldn't say to me - Page 2

[Carsonsmama]

My most irritating comment of late is people predicting I am going to deliver early. :
I mean why do that to me? Here I have saved all the getting ready for the very end so that I am busy and not over anxious that the due date is THE date!! And I have hordes of people telling me I am going to go early..."be prepared", "your not going to make it to your due date with this one", "I had a dream you had a Thanksgiving baby" (Canadian Thanksgiving which was yesterday!), and another one predicts a Halloween baby which is only 4 days past my due date....and so guess what?
After continually hearing I am going early.....EVERY different feeling I experience makes my stomach do a flip and "Is this it?" run through my mind!
Where as a week ago I was planning for and fine with the fact that I would probably be having a mid November baby!
People STOP trying to make me so anxious!!!!

[NurseLaurie]

Visiting from the just barely pregnant club, but you guys are cracking me up. I'm amazed at how inappropriate the in-laws can be. My MIL found out and before even reacting said "So, is this one planned?" I felt like saying "Yeah, you son and I had lots and lots of freaky sex trying to make this little bug." Instead I just pretended she didn't speak. I'm discomforted to see that the in-law torture lives on through the entire pregancy cycle~ Here's wishing you all the happy, gorgeous babes that come into the world on their own schedule!

[mamabeth]

Anything.

No, really, I just don't want to hear anything at this point, even sympathetically. That's why I'm basically hiding in my house, and people have even stopped calling, which I deeply appreciate.

[bebetuck]

It seems like people really don't think before they speak to a pregnant woman, and to me that seems like one of the times you would want to make sure what you're going to say is helpful and considerate!!

My MIL came over yesterday and I told her I didn't want to talk about "it" (I am not due until 10/21, but have been going through prodromal (sp?) labor for about a week now) so I was asking her some questions about other stuff. All I wanted to do was have a normal conversation!! We've barely been talking for 5 minutes and she says "we'll call him mud because he's not coming out! why is he causing so much trouble already?" or something to that effect. Then she says "oh yeah, but I know you don't want to talk about it." Well, MAYBE you should have thought about that first! And my sis has been horrible, every time I call her, "what, no baby yet?" Like I really need to be reminded!

I'm not calling anyone anymore, the only people I can remotely stand is my mom and DH.

OMG, just as I was finishing this, my dad called and his first words were "Where's my grandson?" I told him don't go there, everyone thinks they're being cute and funny, but when you hear it fifty times a day, it's neither cute nor funny! He said, "I guess we all think we're the only ones saying anything." Interesting, but still, shut up!!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[dylan27]

I'm so lucky!!

Reading the comments about IL just made me realize how lucky I am!! My sis gets a lot of crappy comments from her MIL too.

I was actually starting to feel a little annoyed about the fact that my MIL keeps calling to ask if I'm feeling okay or if she can do anything-- but no stupid comments about the baby or anything like what I've been reading. They are just concerned about our wellbeing. She did give me a hard time a bit last week when I went on a business trip by myself (just to Phx- 2 hours away). But it was more like- we know you would have been okay, but you know your family would have wanted to be there if anything happened. (And yeah, I was just about 37 weeks so she was right to give me a hard time.) And she didn't say anything until I came back-- she knew I was going, but not by myself. AND it turned out to be a good thing, because my dp and I ended up having a really good conversation about it, because I asked him why he hadn't given me a hard time about it and if he thought I shouldn't have gone and he was just like "Well I know how stubborn you are and if I had said anything you would have been more determined. And I know you wouldn't do anything to put the baby at risk and that you can take care of yourself." Which was a real epiphany to actually hear those words outloud.

Anyway- I'm off the point....
I'm going to email her right now and let her know how grateful I am that she is so supportive of us!

[JulietsMama]

I can't tell you how many people have asked me if I'm having twins, or even how many are in there? I don't even feel like I'm that huge! But I do carry all my fat in my belly even when I'm not pg, and am thinner in the rest of my body so I guess it makes my body look extra pg or something. It's very insulting to me though and I have been really surprised how many strangers are rude enough to say something like that.

Then of course everyone I know asks me every time they see me, even multiple times in the same day, are you having the baby yet? Well, do I look like I'm in the middle of a contraction or something?

[Juliacat]

Fortunately, when I first got pregnant I lied about my due date to everyone except the authorized personnel, largely because I had read about how annoying it is to be asked "Haven't you had that baby yet?" fifty times a day starting when you hit 36 weeks. I'm not due for another week and most people think it's sometime in November, so I haven't had to deal with too much annoyance there.

I got six inches chopped off my hair on Saturday, but only one person has noticed. Everyone else tells me my belly is bigger than it was last week.

It REALLY annoys me when the same people ask, over and over again, the baby's gender. EVEN IF I KNEW, WHICH I DON'T, I STILL WOULDN'T TELL YOU.

Sometimes they tell me I'm "brave" not to have found out the gender. Sorry, but the human race would not have survived if not knowing were potentially fatal. Or they tell me I'm "brave" to plan a homebirth. And you think I want someone to stick a needle in my spine?!?!?

The general attitude that my being pregnant means my personal decisions are suddenly everyone else's business. Blech.

It's not as bad as some of the things y'all have described....I would fall off my chair if MIL started in on dh's and my sex life....The worst she's done is to say "I really really hope it's a girl" every time we see her.

[guestmama9911]

I'm sick of jokes about how I'll probably scream during labor and birth (I'm giving birth at home). One dear friend and her husband made a joke about how if I go into labor on Halloween, I'll scare the poor little TrickorTreaters with my screaming. And when I told my sister she and my Mom coud have their pampered chef party on my due date because then that will give my mother something to do (We live in a basement apartment in my mother's home, and she has decided not to attend the birth because she wouldn't be able to stand seeing me in so much pain......) my sister said it would probably make the guests uncomfortable to hear me screaming down stairs.

I know they aren't being mean, but it's very pessimistic and just fills me with negative and fearful thoughts. I don't expect to have orgasms like some of the birthing women in Spiritual Midwifery, but I don't think it's going to hurt so much that I'll be screaming. In fact Dr. Sears says in his book The Pregnancy Book that excruciating, unmanageable pain is a sign that you need to shift positions or try something different than what you are doing, because unmanageable pain is not normal and not necessary.

I mentioned very lightly to both my friend and my sister that I don't expect to scream, but if the jokes continue I'm going to be less diplomatic, because I am two days away from my due date and want to have only positive, supportive vibes coming my way.