DS likes to annoy people....

[AuntRayRay]

Hi!
So DS likes to annoy/bother people. Its really trying on my patience. He will laugh mockingly, poke, say things that he knows bother. To me, my sister, and his brother. We could be rushing to get his brother off to school hoping the bus won't come for another few minutes and he'll yell.."The bus is here" and when I run to the window saying "oh man is it?" He'll laugh and say"made you look" It so agrivating. I tell him why do you do that when you know its going to upset me? He replies I don't know : And with my sister he's the worst...as soon as she walks in the door he's always all over her...bothering her so much that she gets sooo angry. I try to tell her maybe he wants your attention. And I tell him not to do things that he "knows" upsets her. He says ok, but then goes right back to doing it. I'm so much trying to GD and change my ways of yelling and such, but its so difficult. Why does he do this? What can I do? I sometimes try to ignore it but he prosists until you feel your last nerve breaking.

RayRay

[AuntRayRay]

I just wanted to add that I'm not talking about him doing things and we just happen to be bothered....no..this is him purposefully doing things to make us angry and then laugh about it. Please tell me someone has some ideas...ignore it (very difficult at times)??? I really don't know...I've tried to talk to him, but no help


RayRay

[BellinghamCrunchie]

Ignoring it is probably the best way to handle it, even though its hard. You could try to engage the help of the other children by giving THEM lots of attention when they ignore his pestering. You could even use a sticker chart or something, and they could earn something fun for ignoring pestering. I think if he sees that his behavior is resulting in something fun for them, and nothing for him, he might re-think things.

[AntoninBeGonin]

I've known a few kids to do this. I think it's mostly yet another stage and that it'll pass on its own without too much fanfare

Not much help, I guess. Good luck!

~Nay

[AuntRayRay]

Thanx for you replies Mama's.

I'm trying to stay away from rewards/punishments...they don't seem to work. I do hope this is a short phase :LOL It sooooo hard to ignore sometimes...

RayRay

[cmb123]

I have a little one who bugs the heck out of her siblings. I finally decided instead of intervening- I would let the natural consequences occur. The natural consequence often has been she has siblings who don't want to play with her. This is often enough for her to make a change in attitude or behavior. (often, but not always )

[TRIBE]

Ah yes the "made you look" gag *barf* ds9 is in this "phase" as well. At times it can be VERY annoying. But I find when I laugh at his pesterings rather than get irritated, he stops. He doesn't get the response he was wanting so its no longer fun for him, kwim?

Sometimes it's really, really, I mean REALLY hard to laugh or ignore, especialy if I am already in an irritable mood. But I have to stop and take a deep breath, roll my eyes and laugh. Hey laughter is good for me too

[HunnyBunnyMummy]

I have another viewpoint to offer. I know an adult who does this sort of thing (a more grown-up version, of course). After getting mad so frequently, I asked him why he did it. It took him a while to come up with an answer, but when he did, he said that maybe it was because he wanted a connection with the other person, and it is a way to make a connection that just gets to be a habit. (In a way, he just doesn't know, or can't choose, another way.)

It sounds a bit like your son is this way, like he is waiting for his sister to come home because he misses her, but his way of connecting (at times) just doesn't jive with most people. Maybe you can work on ways of showing him how to connect with other people in a non-teasing way? One thing about teasing is that it is funny (at least to the person doing it), so maybe you can run with that. Help him find funny ways (to both people) to connect with his sister and other people.

[little bird]

he may be looking to get a rise out of you. do your best to ignore behavior you don't want repeated. If he tells you that the bus is there, you look and see that it's not, you could say, "oh, you must have heard/seen something else" he'll be frusterated that he's not getting a reaction, but may stop the behavior.

that connection thing is really interesting. maybe he is trying to connect on a level that is uncomfortable with others.

try everything, see what works!

[AuntRayRay]

Thanx Mama's!
I'm trying to ignore or not let it bother me so much-Hard sometimes! Also laugh it off whenever possible. I tried to explain the whole teasing issue, but he still insists. ugh


RayRay

[MeadowSong_]

My oldest DS is that way, some days are worse than others, and I try my best to ignore it, but it can be REAL hard not to some days. I feel for you! I hope it passes quickly