Mealtimes have run amok; have I screwed up completely?

[Curious]

Dd, if some of you recall from other posts, is a particular eater and the doctor says she has a weight problem (underweight). She was 19 pounds at 9 months, 19 pounds at 12 months, 21 at 15 months, and 21.5 now at 16.5 months.

I have low milk supply, so I can't depend on breastmilk to make up for her eating ups and downs.

I don't eat regular meals myself, but I go to the table for breakfast, midday, and dinner. For snacks I've been spreading a picnic blanket on the kitchen floor. Dd runs around and returns to the table as she pleases.

We just got her a table and chairs for Christmas. For about 24 hours, all she wanted to do was sit there and eat. Now she just runs to the table, picks, and runs off again. Or she climbs onto the table, grabs a tidbit, and climbs down. Unless she spends 30 minutes doing artwork with the food selection I've provided, while I sit in the other baby chair (I have a little bottom) and sip tea.

She seems to be eating less this way than with the more structured sit downs, but those seem to have become impossible. Is this total chaos? Or is it normal?

[teachma]

Oh, does this ever sound familiar to me!! My 28 month old has finally gotten "over the hump" WRT his eating, and he has finally started eating what I consider to be meals. We has a really tough time from the time he started with solid food until he was about 25 months old. He was born weighing 9 pounds, weighed 17 pounds by 4 months old (!!!) as a breastfed-only baby, and weighed 21 pounds by a year old. Then he stayed between 21 and 23 pounds for about a year straight. What alarmed me is that he went from 98th percentile for weight at birth down to 25th percentile by 18 months old. (His height, BTW, was always at the 75th percentile, which made his lowish weight seem even skinnier on his body). Our wonderful pediatrician reminded me constantly that the percentiles compared him to all babies in the country, and that babies are commonly over the "healthiest" weight these days, so I shouldn't worry. Anyway, at 28 months, he is at last almost 30 pounds, still at 35th percentile, but eating real meals!! Because I've had a similar experience, I would not worry if I were you. Your babe will start eating more as she needs to. Don't worry about the "grazing" either- it's not bad for you or the babe! Just offer a nutritious variety.

[Beloved]

Its hard not to worry esp if it is your first child, but it sounds as if youve got a perfectly normal toddler.

Some days both of my dk's would eat nothing but one food item and dd wouldn't sit atthe table (which i had a hard time with)
I have this thing about the family dinner though it never seems to work out...only a fantasy.

My dd was and still is at 3 at the low end of the weight percentile and the pediatrician was kind of worried but i think he expressed it less with me bc we have agreed to disagree on so many points and approaches.

Point is, they get what they need, esp if healthy snacks are offered. i do snack platters with fruit sliced thin and other healthy things.

You are a wonderfull caring mom and there is no *screwing up*

Blessings, Kelly

[mirlee]

Sam has these phases as well. They will eat when they are hungry. As for the weight issue, your dd weighs more than my little guy at that age. He will be three in Feb. and I still don't think he has hit 28 pounds. He is healthy, rarely sick these days, has more energy than I can deal with, and has regular diapers and as many as he should.

Don't worry about it. Trust your instincts and it will all be fine.

Mir

[angelfromalasaka]

why does you doc say he is underweight?
some kids are just small. its not just what you and dh look like , its what his family and your family are like too.
my dd weight 18 at 1yo, 22 at 18 month and 24 at 2 yo. she is 3.5 now and is 30lbs. she is a very very active child and rarely sick.
my son was25 lbs at 1 year and 29lbs at 2yo.
my dd eats like a horse, every two hours. my sons eats when he feelss like it but he still nurses alot.
all kids are different and as long as he is heathy try not to worry
they will eat when hungry just keep offering. my 3.5 loves her vegs now but not a 2yo. we just kept offering them.
we let them eat when they want, i dont make them wait if the want to eat. its better if they eat 6 smalls meals than 3 large ones.
good luck
angel

[ekblad9]

I am also wondering why your doctor says she's underweight. My dd2 was 9lbs 6 oz at birth but at 27 months weighs only 25 lbs. She doesn't even look small to me. She's not a huge eater but will eat here and there and is still nursing. She'll probably put on 10 lbs because I just had the new baby and have TONS of milk!

Anyway, we don't have specific meal times either. We have healthy foods out all of the time and go from there. Good luck!

[charmarty]

It helps our girls to sit down at thier little eating table with them,and eat too.


BTW,they are 2 y.o and weigh 21 and 22 lbs.

[Curious]

Thanks for the reassurance.

Our dr, who sells himself as Dr. AP/EBF, actually has little experience - he's not out of training long and I don't think he's seen many EBF babies. He flipped out over the lack of weight gain between 9 and 12 months. I am less worried than he is(Dh and I are both long and thin), but the anxiety he provoked still niggles at me, especially when I see Dd eat little when I can't fully rely on my milk to make up amything lacking.

sevenkids, I read your post elsewhere on starting solids. It was very well done, covered everything, but I wonder if you and your Dh are picky or not (you said your kids aren't). Dh is verrrry picky; if he's not in the mood for what's being served, he won't eat it, no matter how hungry he is.

He acts like eating leftovers is torture, maybe he is rebelling against his mother who presented the same leftovers from Sunday night for the rest of the week. Through genetics or behavior, he seems to have influenced Dd. Just because she loved something for a day or a week, doesn't mean she'll want to eat it on a predictable basis.

[Cindi]

Since you mentioned having a low milk supply, I thought I would mention an organic toddler formula (made with either a soy or dairy base) we got from Whole Foods. I think it is called Baby's Own, but not sure. Ds never had formula or a bottle at all as an infant so we introduced it in a mug (he's very good with cups.) We called it his "hot drink," while we might have tea or coffee, and he really liked it around your baby's age. (It was very adult to him, I think, and that made it fun.) I actually liked the taste of it myself and would finish what he didn't want figuring I could use the nutrients for milk-making!

Just a thought. Not sure what you'll think of it.

[angelfromalasaka]

leftovers from Sunday night for the rest of the week. Through genetics or behavior, he seems to have influenced Dd. Just because she loved something for a day or a week, doesn't mean she'll want to eat it on a predictable basis.

all kids are like that !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont think you dh has influnced her actions right now.
most kids go through a i like something today but not tommorow thing. ALL KIDS !!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is very very normal.they eat alot one day and nothing the next . that is NORMAL!!!
she is growing at her own rate !!it doeasnt mean she will be a picky eater later. just really keep offering different foods.
at 2 my kids didnt like vegs but ate alot of friut.dh and i would offer and offer. then dh started teasing grace, saying you can have one bite but not more cause then you will grow up bigger and strong and be bigger than us. she loves her vegs now and wants to be teased alot !!
bf babies sometimes dont gain 9 to 12 months, crawling and walking uses more calories.
i think as long as she is heathy gaining some weight and staying on a curve of some kidn she is fine !!!
some kids are at the 100 percent and some kids are at 5 percent. they all cant be at the 50 percent
i wouldnt worry !!!
angel
mom to eat eat eat grace 30lbs and going on 4
and drew nurse nurse nurse 29lbs at 25 months

[Curious]

cindi - we used Baby's Only from day 10, when my supply couldn't keep up with Dd's first growth spurt. She doesn't care much for the stuff now that she has all these other foods to peruse, but thanks for thinking of it - the stuff was a G-ddess send when we needed it.

angel - thanks for all the assurances of NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!! as well as the weights on your 2 kids. Interesting to know.

[angelfromalasaka]

hey it took us 4 weeks to reagain birth weight for grace. We heard all the bs about formula ect.we told them unless they saw a real medical issue we didnt want to do that. I also went into the peds office with lots of amino, ie normal weigh gain for bf kids ect. the ped leaft us alone after that and at 4 months told us grace had taught him a lesson,. we asked what cause I wanted to hear him say it. he said not to give up on bf. !!!!!!!
when drew was 5 months, he only gained 5 ozs that month.our ped didnt say boo cause he knew better lol.
we figured grace was just meant to be small.she did go way up on the heigh chart from her 2 to 3 year. that is gentic kicking in, my dh is 6 4.she was the whole time at 10 percent for heigh and now is about 50 percent.she is skinny but she realy doea eat alot.
you could add high fat things ie avacodo ect to her diet but to be honest i think you should just let her be. she sounds fine to me.
even know grace goes through i want the same thing for 5 days then turns her nose up at it. If i give it to her a few weeks later she likes at again.
you can keep some nibble trays on her table with apple slices cheese pb ect and let her eat when she is hungry. she really will some day eat at the table fine.
good luck and relax,,,,,, this is hard sometimes !!!
angel who has kids who look like twins but arent...

[sevenkids]

Hi everyone!
Curious, I don't think your baby sounds particularly underweight. My youngest is three years old and barely weighs 30 pounds! He has a good appetite, and I think he eats enough for him, he's just lanky like his daddy. My son who weighed 10 10 at birth and 24 pounds at 6 months (oh, my poor back!) was a beanpole at 2 years. And, if you can fit your behind in a baby chair, methinks your baby takes after you?
My DH is such a picky eater! Sounds like yours, actually. Forget leftovers, he balks at anything new, his ideal meal would consist of a bag of cookies and a pint of butter pecan ice cream! ( He's 5'11" and 150 pounds)
Myself, on the other hand, will eat just about everything except tomatoes, just don't like 'em, but my kids eat them like apples. I've seen them go through 5 pounds of tomatoes in a single day!
For a baby your dd's age, grazing is perfectly acceptable way to eat, as long as all her food choices are healthy. I would definately include her at mealtime, (if your hubby can't/won't eat what's before him without complaining, eat before he does so she doesn't pick up on his likes/dislikes. My Dh has had to learn to wait until the kids are in bed before starting on his nightly bag of cookies and ice cream!) Give her a little bit of food at a time so she doesn't get daunted by an amount she can't possibly eat, and add to her plate as she wants. I know I've lost my appetite when confronted with a huge plate of food!
Snacks she can walk around with are a great way to keep her fed. A nice little 1/4 slice of whole grain bread with avacado, 1/2 a rice cake with peanut butter, a bit of banana, little tidbits of healthy foods. Her stomach is only a teeny bit bigger than her fist, so look at her tiny little fist to see just how much (or little!) food she can hold in there. It's really not more than a couple of tablespoons!
One thing to remember, children will not starve themselves!

[Curious]

if you can fit your behind in a baby chair, methinks your baby takes after you?

sevenkids, that is so funny, I may tell it to the doctor is he gets worried on me at the next visit.

One question for all of you: do you consider Wholefoods organic Angel Fluffs a healthy food?

One day when I was desparate, I offered them to Dd and she liked them. They are all organic and not salty. I think she liked them because they are easy to eat herself and easy on her even though she has very few teeth.

But I think they are overly processed and such things lead to a taste for junk food. So I'm saving them for occasional convenience, when I need something that does not need to be refrigerated and is not very messy except for cheese powder.

So in my mind they are sort of healthy because they are organic, not sugary, not salty, but they are not healthy because I think such things numb your taste for healthy stuff. I have become obsessed with them (but they don't feel healthy in my body, maybe because I ate half a bag in one sitting.)

[Stayathomemommy]

Your child does not sound underweight by any means. does she look underweight?? my dd is 26 months and just finally is 22 lbs. she has chubby cheeks and will eat everything in sight one day and hardly anything the next. she actually eats more when i sit on the floor and let her play and eat off my plate. i dont recomend this we are a sit down together at the table type family for dinner but breakfast and lunch are much more relaxed. it can be messy though.

Doctors told me the same thing and i laughed in their faces. i am 5'2 and 104 lbs. sometimes they only look at the percentiles instead of family hystory or even looking at the child individually. we changed doctors and she has never said anything about her weight.

dont worry too much she will eat if she is hungry. let her snack lots. we snack constantly throughout the day.