Still Pregnant!

[firstlovesnbaby]

No one can seem to beleive it. Even my midwifes since I have been in predromal labor for about 2 months now.

I am 39 weeks and 5 days. Ds came at 38 weeks so I have never been this big before. I was checked and am basically the same as I have been for weeks 2 cm and 70% effaced. The midwifes keep saying your cervix is so soft......... BUt nothing is happening.

After being checked I had a break down in the office. ds was born in the hospital with pitocin, epidural (which gave me nerve damage) 3 rd degree tear etc. I am obviously going a different route this time with midwifes and a birthing center......... But the BH have gotten strong and if those are painful and are not doing anything........... how will I handle labor naturally? I have read all sorts of books, taken birthin from within classes, hypnobirthing, etcc...... But am still nervous. I felt like such a baby have this crying fit in their office. They are so confident I can do it! Why arent I??

Since then I have been just praying for this baby to come out. Contrax have stopped and the only thing happening is I seem to be losing some of my plug ( not even the blood tinged part) which I lost before going into labor with ds.

UGh! I cant be pregnant forever right? And I can do this right? I need some positive help.

[Godiva]

you'll be just fine. You haven't even reached your due date yet. mabye you should stop checking since it seems to be causing you so much stress. The baby will come out when he/she is ready. Pain in labor is caused by fear. Try to relax and visualize a painless easy birth. Deep visualization for the kind of birth you want will make it a reality. Our minds can not differentiate between reality and dreams/visualization in the subconscious. Ask any professional sports athlete. I remember learning this while I was going to an equestrain college, the ammount of time you spend visualizing IN DETAIL the kind of show/practice/competition/birth/pretty much anything can be inserted here you want is equivalant to the same ammount of time of actually practicing it that way. For example if I were to spend an hour a day visualizing in detail the kind of performance I would give at a horse show the next week, by the time the horse show came, my mind would be programmed to ride the way I had imagined creating the kind of performance I had hoped for. The same can be true for births. If you spend as much time as you can visualizing exactly how you want your birth to go you are 100x more likely to receive that birth. Control of our bodies comes solely from the mind. It seems as though you're so scared of giving birth from your last experience that you just won't let your body go into labor. Trust your body, this birth will not be like your last birth. Let go of your fears about birth and your body will respond the way you want it to. Good luck to you, go take a sip of wine relax and visualize the birth you want and you will be just fine.

[Stephane]

Well you just made me feel better about my two DAYS of prodromal labor! Ugh! I'm sorry you've been so uncomfortable.

You CAN do it, and you WON'T be pregnant forever. Real, active labor isn't as frustrating as the start and stop stuff. Once your labor get going, and you can see an end point, the pain is defnitely more manageable. Relaxation is key! Do what works for you.

[mamabeth]

I'm at 42 weeks tomorrow and it's very, very hard. What's getting me through is remembering how hard my first birth was and not wanting to repeat that (induction and c/sec) so much that me and uterus are hanging in here.

Also taking it day by day. And remembering that almost no one makes it past 42.5 weeks or so. Hang in there mama, and I will try to take my own advice too!

[RyvreWillow]

i know you can do it hun! My second birth was soooo much easier than my first!!!

I was in labor for about 10 hours with #2 (stupid nurses literally told me i "couldn't" push until my doc got there, so my poor babygirl crowned for two hours!!!), but once i was "allowed" to push, she came out with one practice push, and one real one! I was soooo mad at myself, because i let my traumatic first birth scare me into getting an epidural, when i know now that i could have done it without one, AND being bullied into waiting for the doc, when i knew in my heart that i could have just pushed, and let my husband deliver her since i was left alone in the room.

What i'm trying to say is, don't let your first birth scare you; your body didn't know what it was doing back then, and couldn't be expected to, so DO NOT let it determine how this birth will be! One tramatic birth does not have to shape your entire experience with birthing babies. I did, and it was a huge mistake. I'm hoping to get it right this time with #3!!! Hang in there, and i'll try to take my own advice too

[operamommy]

If it helps any, I've also been 2 cm and 70 percent for 2 weeks, and no one expected me to get past 34 weeks (39 and 1 day now). *hugs*

I think break-downs are normal. I had one last night! Dh and I were actually getting ready to DTD because I'd been having lots of contractions, and all of the sudden I was terrified! I remembered how much labor hurt with my older two children, and got really scared about all the changes a new baby will bring to our family. I was crying and actually said at one point, "I don't want to do this anymore!" Luckily Dh kept talking and reminding me that I would be just fine during labor and that my body knew what to do, and that even though a baby was going to change things a lot of those changes would be happy ones. I'd also forgotten while worrying about how painful labor was how exciting it is! I remember literally shaking from excitement when the nurses wheeled the little baby bed in and the anticipation of that wonderful first cry.

Keep hanging in there!