What to do if DH is against homeschooling

[Bean Mama]

My DH is against home schooling although I'd really like to try it. I think I could convince him re: the merits of home schooling vs. public schooling if I really tried. The real problem is - he says that he won't abide me going the rest of my life without working. I'm at home with our 2.5 year old dd right now and we are doing fine financially. I think it's just the principle he doesn't like. He doesn't think it is "fair" for him to work while I stay home.

Anyone have a similar problem? Any suggested solutions?

Thanks

[lilyka]

As far as working goes you can always work and homeschol. Themost convincing thing would be to work while he was home with the kids. It would help him see that you are doing more than just watching soap and eating bon bons all day and that yuou most likely work harder than he does. SOrry that was just my little rant. Anyway maybe you could convince him to commit to giving the homeschool thing a try for just a couple of years. That would give him some time to come around. Aftre a year or two it will just become what you do.

Good luck, there are no easy solutions.

[Faith]

I'm sorry, but I think your DH needs to realize life isn't fair, and the most important thing is that you both do what is right!

Was it *fair* when you had morning sickness, blew up to the size of a beach ball, and had to handle the pain of birth? Is it *fair* that you are the one that has to sit and nurse for hours while he can get up and do whatever?

I stay home, and I think there are days when it is not *fair*! My husband does not cook, clean, etc. and he spends his free time playing his guitar and goes to bed when he feels like it. Unlike me, who cares for the kids and has to get them to sleep, etc.

But, we are happy and this works for us. I am glad I do not have to get up at 6:30 and be away from my kids all day, like my DH does. There are postives and negatives to both situations, but that does not mean it is unfair, just different.

Honestly, if your DH had to stay home and manage it, organize it, remember apointments and birthdays, clean, do laundry, cook, shop, keep dd happy, etc, I bet he would think *he* had the hard job, and that you had it easy being able to leave every day, and that *that* wouldn't be fair.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but jeez. This is "natural mothering" and nature gave you the uterus and nummies for a reason.

[phathui5]

There are also a lot of ways that you could make money at home and homeschool.

* You can take a kid or two as a daycare mom.
* You can sell slings, Avon, etc
* I sell used books on Amazon.com

[cumulus]

DH could go to work with you staying at home and still be a part of homeschooling. In the future when you son's older, he could fax/email questions, puzzles, or riddles while at work. At lunch he could check the sky for cool clouds while your son does the same thing at home (unless he commutes very far to work) and talk about who saw what in what cloud. He could prepare lessons, drawings, poems, haiku each morning for your son to match. Connect-the-dot puzzles, drawings to color in, etc.. He could start a long project, like a city of building blocks that keeps growing or later a model airplane or boat or something, that they can work on together even though they may not necessarily be together. Can father and son look from their respective windows in the middle of the day and see the same thing like a mountain or tall building? Stuff like that so DH has a part in schooling.

[Linda in Arizona]

I would talk to him more. May be instead of being worried about it being "fair," he is feeling a great deal of pressure to support you and the kid(s) long term. For many people in the work force there is tremendous stress right now. My DH's company has laid off nearly half its employees in the last year. My DH usually feels fine with things, but there are days when he feels panicy about what we would do if they laid him off.

Also it is quite possible that there are things that you are doing without that are fine with you, but seem like real sacrifices to him.

My DH knows that I work my fanny off. Perhaps you need to take some time for yourself on a Saturday. Leave you DH with your child, a couple of loads of landry, and have him make dinner and have the house clean when you get back. Be sure he knows that he can't just park the kid in front of the TV, but must keep her busy with art supplies and then take her to the park.

Frankly, I think my DH would RATHER be at work than to do what I do.