A few months ago one of our neighbors came over to tell us he and his live in girlfriend were getting married and he wanted to make sure he had our name and address right for the invitation. I specifically asked him "Thank you so much for inviting us, Should we make plans for a sitter or will it be appropriate to bring dd with us?" He said - "oh shes just little, she would be welcome!" (dd is 2) He even addressed the invitaiton with my name, dh's name and dds name - thre was no mistake that she was invited.
We get there and its a very formal,intimate wedding.
: I went outside with dd during the whole service and after that it was still very quiet and we told dd "this is a quiet party, we have to use our quiet voice" She said "I CANT
" :LOL - We grabbed her and ran out of there. The other neighbors we were sitting with realized that we were gone and guessed what had happened. We didnt even get a canape. :LOL
I wish he would had just been honest with me and said it was going to be very formal. I even made a point to sound like we would get a sitter (we would have not gone).
If you want a black tie, long white table cloth type of wedding, fine. Its much better to say that upfront than to invite people you know have children and tell them children are welcome and then have the parents try to "make the baby behave".