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Brother and sister sharing a room?

post #1 of 34
Thread Starter 
We have a son and daughter and are looking at buying a two bedroom home. Though our dd will likely continue to co-sleep for a year or two, they'd eventually end up sharing a room. We wouldn't have to stay there forever, but would probably want to stay until they were teenagers, at least, if we could.

Any thoughts on a brother and sister sharing a room? Has anyone done this? How long are kids usually comfortable with it? And, finally...any thoughts on bunk beds in this situation?

post #2 of 34
I have shared with my brother many times. It worked great for us (we are also 6 months apart in age though. That may have had something to do with it.). The first time we just had beds on oppposite walls. Not a big deal at all, it was especially nice when I got scared at night. I didn;t have to go upstairs to my parents, I coiuld just wake him up and talk with him. I think it is part of the reason we are as close as we are now.
post #3 of 34
My kids shared a room until they were 5 and 8 yrs old.

We used bunk beds, and it was fine.

Then all of a sudden, our daughter needed privacy. And it was looong before she was a teen.

It seemed like they got their own rooms right i time, although i am sure they could have gone a bit longer, but not much.

The whole pre-teen time was challenging.
post #4 of 34
my younger brother and i shared a room for a couple of years when we were 3 and 5 to 5 and 7 or so. it worked out fine because we had bunk beds and the top bunk was my private area. younger brother had to be invited by me if he wanted to go up there.
post #5 of 34
My older two are 10 and almost 13 and they still share a room (with bunkbeds). Half of the time one or both ends up on my floor in the middle of the night still, no biggie.

We haven't had many "privacy" issues. Only if a friend is over and one or the other wants to be alone with them, then the other just has to respect it and stay out of the room and vice versa. Mutual respect.
post #6 of 34
My dh and his sister shared a room until dh left home. I asked about privacy and he said you just lock the door, no big deal. They had separate beds and matching dressers. He says it made him closer to his sister and that's one reason he wants to have the kids share a room for awhile.
post #7 of 34
I shared a room with my brother as well (I'm three years older than he is). I have lots of fond memories of laughing and giggling late at night and telling stories to each other.

I think we each got our own room when I was around ten - at that age I was starting to be ready for some privacy.
post #8 of 34
my brother and i shared a room till i started my periods at 11 1/2 (bro 2 years younger than me) when my mom thought of separating us. mainly coz i was scared at night and would sleep in his bed and stain it every time.
post #9 of 34
My brother and I shared a room until I was 12 or 13 and he was 11. We shared a bed when we were really little, then got our own twin beds when we were older. We were perfectly fine with sharing the room. We played together all the time, so it was nice to have our toys in the same place. (We often played with GI Jos, cars, Barbies, and My Little Ponies all at the same time.) I have fond memories of telling each other stories and talking after lights went out. Of course, I was happy to get my own room when I finally did.

Anyway, I have a boy and girl 2 years apart, and now that Kira is 1, I'm seriously thinking about trying to transition them to sharing a bed together (rather than sharing a bed with us). I certainly wouldn't have a problem with them sharing a room.

Oh, forgot to respond to the bunk bed question. I would have loved a bunk bed when I was a kid! But I'll bet we would have fought over the top bunk. Surely there are creative solutions to this problem, though. If both kids can be trusted not to fall out of the top, maybe they could take turns?
post #10 of 34
I shared a room with my brother for a summer and had no problems, but we always knew it was temporary so that might have made a difference. I was 8 and he was 15.

In some states, weirdly enough, it's illegal for opposite-sex kids to share a room (or at leastto not have another bedroom available).
post #11 of 34
In response to the pp... I believe that only applies to government housing projects that are obviously regulated. My dh grew up in a housing project and his Mama still lives there, those are definately the rules. However I don't believe that applies to those who are living independant of a housing authority. (unless maybe DCF is involved with a family as they love to make a big fuss about stuff like that)

To the op... We have 3 kiddos who share a room Well, technically anyway- our youngest ds who is almost 4 is actually still in our bed but does have a bed in the other room and opts to use the floor in there occasionally :LOL but mostly he is still with us.

We have bunkbeds for our almost 9 yo dd and our almost 7 yo ds (all have b-days soon!) dd has the top bunk and that is her private place. The boys couldn't care less at this point about space or privacy. Up till now we have had no problems at all with them sharing a space, the only thing we've encountered as of recent is dd needing a private place to dress... she has become VERY modest as would be expected with her age and all. She WILL NOT dress in front of anyone, not even Daddy anymore. So she retreats to the bathroom, no biggie. I think if given the choice she'd love her own room but since it's not an option right now it's not an issue. It never gets brought up at all by anyone and they all seem content.

I think it's an issue that will probably need to be guaged individually according to each child needs. Some kids may be able to stay a long time together while others might not be able to hack it. There's always the ever famous personality clash as they grow up and maybe other issues. So all in all I say go for it and see what happens over time, you'll be fine for at least a good 10 years I would imagine.
post #12 of 34
I shared a room with my brother until I was 10 1/2 (he was 8 1/2). Probably at age 9 I was beginning to want my own space, but I was still pretty OK with the situation. We had bunk bed - great fun.

I REALLY am a fan of siblings of whatever gender sharing rooms until they hit junior high or so. After that it would be difficult not just because of desire for space/privcy, but because very few if any of of the kids they know will share rooms (it isn't at all common any more), and they will be "weird" for doing it.
post #13 of 34
I am glad to hear all of this because we are planning on having dd and ds share a room (with bunkbeds) soon - they will be 4 and 2.
post #14 of 34
I think it would be ok until they are preteens. Then I could see a problem with it. We are adding onto our house to make sure each boy has their own room. I think having personal space and a place that is all yours is important.
post #15 of 34
I think there is nothing wrong with that. My brother and I shared rooms until he was 11-15 yrs old . At that age he ask for his own room.
Your son and daughter can share the bed room as long they are comfortable with it.
post #16 of 34
I shared a room with my brothers (3 of them!!!). Up until I was 10 or so it was just me and my older brother (he's 3.5 years older than I am), we also slept in a bed together. Then my mom had 2 more sons, 15 months apart...we were living in a 2 bedroom duplex. So as they outgrew their cribs (in my mom and step-dad's room) they moved into our room. We had 2 toddler bed and a bunk bd in one tiny room, lol. It was kinda annoying to have no space of my own...but that was with 4 of us, if it had just been me and my older brother I don't think I would've minded at all.
post #17 of 34
I shared a room with my two brothers when I was younger. My parents remodeled the basement so as to have another bedroom for me to move into, but my oldest brother ended up claiming it. So middle bro and I shared a room until we were 15 and 14, respectively (at that point, my brother moved to France for a year of foreign exchange). By the time he got back, we had moved to a new house. Funny thing about it is that my oldest brother is not very close with either one of us, and middle bro and I live about 2 miles away from each other and talk every day. He is one of my best friends, and I think that for the most part, we enjoyed our time together growing up. I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as your children are willing participants.... and as long as you're not homophobic. My brother is gay, and my stepfather is convinced that this is the reason! :LOL
post #18 of 34
My brother and I shared a room until I was 9 and he was 11. We had bunk beds
post #19 of 34
I shared a room with my brother who is 2 years younger than me. I think we were 6 and 8 when we stopped sharing a room. I am pretty close to him now, not sure if that has much to do with it. My dd is 4 and ds is 2 and they have shared a room for a while now. We tried putting them in seperate rooms but one would always end up coming to sleep in the other's room. As much as they fight at times, they love each other so much and truly enjoy sharing a room. I'm not sure how long I'd keep them together though, it would depend on space available and if they still enjoyed sharing a room.
post #20 of 34
My best friend and her brother shared a room until my friend was 17 and her brother was 15. They had bunk beds and they got along better than most brothers and sisters I know of (including my own siblings). My two younger siblings shared a room till my sister was 9 and my brother was 7. That's when I went to college and my sister got my room. They also had bunk beds. In both cases the girl had the top bunk, but I think that was more by virtue of being older.

love and peace.
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