Help! 38w6d today and I think my DR wants to start talking induce next week....

[JulietsMama]

My dd was born naturally (at the hospital) 11 days early, so I've been expecting this one to be early too. I really didn't expect to make it to my due date, Oct 21 and I'm pretty sure my dates are right, from my ovulation date. But now I am thinking I will probably go longer because this baby does not seem ready to come out.

My DR has been checking my cervix and stripping my membranes for 3 weeks. She was hands off before that. I really like her and don 't mind the stripping. But yesterday when she did my exam, she said my cervix was lower and easier to reach, otherwise not much change. Then she said, if you are back here next week we will talk about how to move things forward. She didn't use the word induce, but I'm afraid she will bring it up next week. I plan to ask her to wait at least a week or two before seriously considering inducement. I am having the baby at the hospital again and trying to go as natural as I can.

I am not a very oustpoken person and didn't say anything to her about not wanting to be induced. But I know I will have to make my wishes known next week. I am "afraid" of pitocin and a c section. I guess I just need encouragement to hang in there and stand up for myself in a nice way in case she tells me I need to induce for the sake of the baby. People I talk to around here are more concerned about the baby getting too big, having meconium, or just wanting the baby out. I don't know any people here locally who would prefer to let a baby "finish cooking".

I am impatient and eager to see her myself, but not enough to make her come early or take the extra pain of pitocin or risk getting a c section. Also, can someone tell me more about cervadil? I've read a little about it here and wondered if it would be an option later that my DR might go for.... Any other input or encouragement would be appreciated. : )

[Harper]

I'm afraid I don't have a lot of information--just questions. Why is she stripping your membranes? You haven't even gotten to your due date yet. Has she given you any reason why she is so anxious for the arrival? I was due yesterday and I haven't even had my cervix checked yet!!

I guess the next time I saw her I would ask her why she wanted to induce and then tell her you at least want to wait until your due date before you even discuss it. I would also maybe ask for an end to the internal exams until then.

I would really trust yourself and your body to know when it is ready.

Good luck and try to be strong! I know it can be hard standing up to your doctor but you NEED to do what you feel is right for you and your baby.

[nonconformnmom]

You're the "customer". She works for you. Don't be afraid to tell her what you want/ will accept.

[JulietsMama]

She started stripping my membranes at 37 weeks, actually without asking me first. But I didn't think that much about it because I read it wouldn't work if I wasn't ready, it wouldn't change anything unless baby was about ready anyway. And we had talked about how Juliet was early and this baby might be early too. She really hasn't had any reason to try to move things along early. I've been perfectly fine and so has baby. I think it is just that she is used to people wanting the baby out asap. So I am hoping she will not disagree with me on waiting.

I hadn't thought of it as I'm the customer, that is helpful! : )

[Worldshakerz]

Well, even if it doesn't do anything until the baby is ready...I wouldn't be too happy about a doc stripping my membranes without telling me first. And even if she does disagree with you it is your right to wait. You are the customer, you are the mommy . I am like you in that I'm not really good at speaking up, but actually being a mommy has helped me in that regard. Babies can't speak for themselves, you are the spokesperson. Listen to your baby and your body and don't worry about whether your doc approves. Like other posters have mentioned, you're not even to your due date yet!

[lovnbnhome]

Every baby is different in when and how they will arrive. I agree witht he pp's about the stripping the membranes, personally I wouldn't take it without permission. I would find other care. That is not giving you the respect that you deserve as a thinking and smart person. The doc probably has an alterior motive only she know what that is though. If I were you I would take charge of my appts and always ask why are you doing that? What benefit/RISK is there in doing that? How do I feel about that? You can always have them wait until next time if you need time to think it over!
just my 2 cents

[nonconformnmom]

I used to be paranoid about my docs stripping my membranes without asking, because I'd heard it happening to other mothers. So when I got into my last month's weekly appointments, I always started out by saying, "You won't strip my membranes without telling me, will you?" and they hurriedly assured me that, no, they would not do that.

It wasn't really an issue for me anyway, since I pretty much refused internals even at the end because 1) I was gbs positive and didn't want to risk introducing bacteria and 2) the dilation and effacement don't really mean anything in terms of predicting when labor will begin.

[JulietsMama]

Thanks for all the replies, I am feeling a bit more confident already. I just want to be able to talk to her nicely about not wanting to induce. I am a pretty shy person and used to just taking the DRs word for it. I was lucky last time, my DR didn't try to do anything or need to do anything to help me along.

And up till now I have really had no problems with this DR. If I hadn't been reading on here, I wouldn't have even realized she was stripping my membranes. She just said, after starting the cervical exam, hold on a minute - this might hurt a little but it will get you started if your baby is ready. Then I knew what she was doing. She didn't call it by its name or ask me. So if I hadn't read about it on here, I would've thought it was just a somewhat painful exam. I didn't complain, but when I told DH, he was angry that they hadn't at least asked first.

Anyway, I wasn't too bothered by the membrane issue, but I am really concerned about the inducement issue. I don't like confrontation and feel funny telling DRs that I know my body better than they do, even if it is true! I'm just that kind of person. I picture myself telling her like this, I'm not in a rush to get this baby out (even though I do want her out!), and nothing is wrong with her or me. So I'd like to wait another week or two before talking about inducement. She is really nice and I think she will be ok with it, but my concern is what if she does go into the speech about what could go wrong if I go over. Then it will be awkward for me. So this kind of encouragement will really help me out - especially info on why it's good to wait.

[alegna]

Not in your group, but had to respond. Honestly at this point I'd tell her to keep her hands to herself. She shouldn't be stripping your membranes at this point. Happens all the time that they -OOPS- break your water while they're in there then you're on the clock big time with an early baby on the way. You're not even DUE yet.

-Angela

[operamommy]

Is your partner better at speaking up? My Dh is coming to my appointment tomorrow simply because he's more comfortable being an ass than I am...seriously. I would *definately* let your dr. know that no procedures are to be done without your consent...and stripping membranes constitutes a procedure to me. I think you're right to be concerned about her pushing induction; like most other mommas here I don't understand why she was stripping your membranes at 37 weeks. Sounds silly, but could a role-play possibly help? And like others have said, you're the customer! I do understand feeling pressured; I'm worried my dr. will begin talking induction soon (but I don't know for certain) but ultimately you're the boss! Let us know how it goes.

[JulietsMama]

I hadn't thought about it possibly breaking my water. And I probably would have to be induced then. I see what you mean. Wow.

Maybe I should try to take dh next time I go. He tends to be on the nice side too, but I think he would be supportive and assertive more than me. Thanks for the idea! Actually, he hasn't been to any of my appts this time and seemed disappointed that he doesn't know the DR. Maybe he would like that. I'm going to talk to him about it.

Thanks again everybody!

[dylan27]

don't let dr pressure you

If I understand correctly, you aren't officially late until 42 weeks, so it is a little early to be talking induction, isn't it?

Good luck and go with your gut!! You know when your baby is ready.

[MrsMoe]

There is no reason to induce a healthy pregnancy/fetus at 39 weeks... let alone 40 weeks or 41 weeks. And due dates can be wrong.

Induction can be a very slipppery slope to a c-section delivery. If your body is nor ready, induction methods can and do fail, and that leads to c-sections.


Risks of cervidil: http://www.birthingnaturally.net/bir.../cervidil.html

[Sagesgirl]

I posted on another site that someone on yet another site (:LOL) had mentioned her doctor stripping her membranes without asking, and judging by the responses, in the UK and New Zealand such is considered assault. I really think it should be here too.

You have to think about this very seriously. If your doctor is willing to perform this intervention without your informed consent, what else is she willing to do without the same?

As others have said, though, there is NO reason AT ALL for you to be having internal exams at this point. Dialation and effacement at the end of pregnancy have absolutely nothing to do with when you will go into labor.

I know a PP said to think of yourself as a customer. I'll go that one better. You are her employer. You (through your insurance company) are signing her paycheck. Tell her to keep her hands to herself.

[flapjack]

Yep. In the UK, whilst there isn't a specific consent form for stripping of membranes, doing it without consent is considered assault. Furthermore, internals rarely (if ever) are performed until labour is established, or until everyone (i.e. the mother) is worried about the fact that labour isn't established yet.

[gratefulbambina]

Jumping in from another due date club

Your due date is a guideline, not a definate. That is very upsetting that she stripped your membranes that early & I wouldnt count on it not starting something that wasnt ready to happen to happen.

I would ask that no further exams be done. You can talk about induction at 42 weeks if thats what she wants & then at that time if both you & the baby are doing fine there is no reason to induce. If she is really pressuring induction with you & you feel cornered I would just say you want to think about it & there are more natural methods (sex & other things to start induction on your own)

Have you thought about hiring a doula to go to your appts with you too? Having a doula cuts down induction/Csection rates drastically

[atozmama]

I had an OB push induction starting at 38 weeks or so. It was a pregnancy followoing two losses, one at 21 weeks. His reasoning was we have a healthy baby now, lets get her out before anything happens. Implied was while I can control events. I also wanted to avoid a dr on the rotation (my OB knew this) and induction could insure that. My first baby had been induced and was a rough delivery followed by 4 days in the NICU. I wanted to avoid that. I kept saying no, though I did allow stripping of membranes. Zoe was born the day after her due date with no drugs.

Come up with a sentence that expresses your desires and mabey concerns. Something like I am not comfortable with an induction for convience or because the calender says it is time- or in the absence of a real medical indication (ie lack of movement). Then become a broken record and answer your dr with the same thing. If she tries to give reasons for induction take out paper and pen write it down and say let me think about it then repeat your broken record phrase.

PP have had lots of good suggestions too. Induction is something that can be avoided.

[curlyfry]

nak

Visiting from sept. ddc with one word of advice...be firm! this is your body and your baby! if she senses insecurity and doubt in your voice she may see it as an opportunity to "convince" you of her viewpoint, then you'll have a fight on your hands. I can't believe she stripped your membranes without telling you...

She may just assume you're the "normal, mainstream" patient who just wants to "get this baby out". It's very important that you let her know your point of view now, so that she understands you want to do this naturally. That way when you're in labor she won't just assume you want all of the "routine" interventions either.

Ask her, "am I ok?" "is my baby ok?" and even if she dances around the issue with what "might" or "could" happen, just know that if you and your baby are ok, there's no reason to induce!

I hope you can find your inner strength and let her know how you feel. Best wishes!

[JulietsMama]

Thanks so much everybody. I am really feeling a lot more confident now about going back to my next appt Wednesday. I talked to dh about it and he said he would go with me in case she did try to convince me to induce. He doesn't want the baby to come early before she's ready. And he is the only person among my family and friends who feels that way! Everyone I talk to tells me they would go ahead and get induced if they were me. A lot of people I know have had inducements and c sections, so I guess I am really a minority around here.

I even had a lady come up to me at the mall a few days ago and ask me when I was due. I told her next week and she said, "I'm 18 weeks, have gained 20 lbs, 7 bra sizes, and I'm miserable. I'm going to schedule a c section at 36 weeks. I was a 10.5 lb baby. The baby will be fine, I just want this done!" My jaw dropped and I didn't know what to say! I didn't even know you could get scheduled that early if nothing was wrong! It really made me think about how much Drs will do for people's convenience. I'm sure that's what my Dr is thinking, that I just want that convenience. So I'm hoping that she won't argue with me once she realizes I'm not in that kind of rush.

Actually, I am in a hurry to get this baby out. I would love for the full moon to help her decide to come on out. I would love to have her right now, just want her to be ready too. : ) Thanks again everybody!!!!

[operamommy]

I'm glad your dh will be going with you! I think curlyfry's statement about the dr.'s assumptions is probably a very accurate one. I just had an appt. Friday (no induction talk...yay!) and the dr. was pretty open about me being one of her few patients to go to their due dates and not want to be induced. Keep hanging in there!