Help DH think more frugally

[dharmamama]

This is not a complain-about-my-dh thread, because my dh is fabulous. However, I have recently noticed that I think much more frugally than he does, and it's getting frustrating. Two examples: we need some wood to patch some holes in our fence so that our dog doesn't get out. My dh's solution was to go to Lowe's to buy wood. I suggested trying friends, family, and Freecycle to find some wood. I kinda had to talk him into it. Second example: We had some training underwear for my son, and he is now completely potty-trained. We only have two pair of "regular" boy underwear for him. But, we have about 40 pairs of girl underwear, which my son happily wears (and prefers!). But my dh is of the opinion that we need to go out and buy him new boy underwear, just because he should have boy underwear. I told him I would, but I haven't yet and honestly, I don't intend to.

These are not major issues, but it does get a little tiring to feel like I always have to campaign for the more cost-effective way. Dh is not a frivolous spender, and he does try to be kind to the environment, but he's also more interested in just buying what we need and getting the job done than in waiting a bit, being a little innovative, and trying to spend the least money possible. Growing up, he and his dad did a lot of handy-man projects, and I think dh has just aquired a "get the right tools for the job" mentality, whereas my mentality is "make do with what you've got or do without."

Ideas?

Namaste!

[organicmommy]

Well I agree with you on the wood but I probably would go out and get ds some boy undies just off principles of the matter, but that is me.

My dh is the same way, doesn't want to wait, just do it and do it now so that it is done.

Hugs
Jessica

[Alkenny]

I don't want to be the one to say "Just be thankful..." so I won't! :LOL

[Spock]

Maybe you could give him a dollars and cents illustration of how much money your way of thinking saves you. Go to the store and show him how much money buying new undies for your ds would cost and how ALL that money could be saved by letting ds wear the undies you already have. Show him other places that that money could be spent. The amount of money won't be huge in this particular example so maybe you could find another example with a bigger return? Or you could add up lots of small examples so he can see that it does add up over time.

Good luck converting dh to frugality!

[dharmamama]

Originally Posted by Alkenny

I don't want to be the one to say "Just be thankful..." so I won't! :LOL

I'm not sure what you mean by this. If you mean that I shouldn't complain about this issue because things could be a lot worse, well, I already said I wasn't complaining about my husband. I AM looking for ways to help him think more frugally. Do you have any ideas?

Namaste!

[Sharlla]

I take care of all the financial stuff here. DH will say "we need this" and I shop around for the best prices.

[Alkenny]

Originally Posted by dharmamama

I'm not sure what you mean by this. If you mean that I shouldn't complain about this issue because things could be a lot worse, well, I already said I wasn't complaining about my husband. I AM looking for ways to help him think more frugally. Do you have any ideas?

Namaste!

That came out in a hurry and wrong (is there a jealousy smiley?). I have a husband who waits until the last moment to do anything, and even then isn't that handy. You are saving money by not having to hire someone to do repairs.

I think if he's discussing it beforehand and you were able to talk him into looking around first (or you look FOR him), then you're doing pretty good already.

(This was said with all sincerity.)

[newcastlemama]

I am more frugal than my husband (and he is very frugal and handy) and he says it is because he was raised poor and he doesn't want to live that extreme again.
I usually just tell him the tradeoff of not spending...."if we don't get X then we can buy Y" type of thing. We both agree to spend our hard earned money on things that matter to us most.
You could also talk to your husband about that.

I read that people don't really fight about money, they fight about values....maybe write out some goals for savings, spending ect. (We have done that and it keeps us focused on what we REALLY want)
I hope this helps! Jen

[Kimcarrots]

I'm wondering if you DH is in the "forget the feelings, fix the problem" mode and is not really hearing your concerns in the moment. My DH and I are on auto pilot so much we really need to make the time (when kids are asleep) to really hear each other. When either of us are not living out of our values it is usually because we are burnt out (or crispy fried) and need a little tea and conversation to get back to balance. And really, its OK if he is not so concerned with living frugally (or you are not concerned with XYZ etc.) as you are, but hearing your concerns and honoring them are important.

I have to confess, sometimes when I am in the "fix the problem" mode I cannot stand my husband offering some frugal way to fix it (that will involve extra time rounding up resources) I really just want the problem fixed RIGHT NOW and hence I go to Home Depot.

Good luck.

Kimcarrots