Postpartum Support Circle - Page 3

[CRISSY]

Thank you so much Gale Force I can't express how much this means to me I definitely will explore my options and look in to my thyroid more carefully it could be the cause of a lot of my problem. I don't want to get my hopes up that some drug or herb will poof make things all better but it would be nice. All I can do is look into it keep my head up try to laugh and pray that there will be better days. I'll let you know what the out come is. Thank you...........
lots of love
crissy
PS. Hows everyone coping the threads been quiet!!!

[FancyD]

I've been doing really well. I don't feel like I'm being ground down so much. I've been taking a multi-vitamin, magnesium/calcium, and evening primrose (thanks annakiss!). It's quite amazing, the difference I feel. Hope you are all doing ok, much love to you all!

[RedWine]

Thank you all for your kind words and support.

I've been on Zoloft for two days, and the difference is amazing. I feel so much better already. My anger is really curbed, and I am able to parent more in the way I would like.

I hope you all are doing well. FancyD, I am so glad you are feeling so much better. Supplements are great for many people.

[CRISSY]

Redwine that's awesome to hear your doing better on Zoloft I've been on it for over a year. I went off it twice and I hit bottom. The past 8 mths I've had to bump it up. I've finally settled on 100 mg it sounds like a lot but from what I understand a normal dosage is 100 - 200 mg so any lower really didn't effect me. That sucked cause all that time I could have been a lot happier. I can't believe how expensive it is with no ins. but I do what I gotta do and take it faithfully. What dosage are you on? It does take awhile to really get in your system but at the same time sociology just taking it the first few weeks makes you feel better. So I'm sure you will really be a lot calmer and feel it in a couple of weeks so don't let it discourage you rather make it encourage you.
I also want to add the down fall of it was my libido really sucked for the past year I'm just now getting back but I was at a point I would have sacrificed anything to get my ability to be a good mom and wife so it did out way the side effect.. My husband tolerated ha ha. I'm so happy your doing good let me know how it goes I'm here for you.
FancyD I'm so glad to hear your doing well keep up the good days and thank you for sharing your story it's hard to admit you have had those thoughts I know because I've had them thank you thank you thank you I'm not alone.
lots of love
crissy

[RedWine]

Crissy, I took 25mg the first two days. Today's the third day and I am supposed to take 50mg from here on out.

It's great that it is supposed to kick in in a week or so -- because I feel so much better already, and my husband made numerous comments yesterday on how much nicer I was being! I wonder what I will feel like a week from now. Like this, maybe? ---->

Yes, I can imagine that if I stopped taking it, I would proably hit bottom too. I think I WAS at bottom just before I started taking it though.

My love for my daughters have returned a thousandfold already. I am so grateful! I was becoming a really crappy mother over the past few weeks. Now I feel I can start to repair whatever emotional damage I did to my oldest during those bad weeks (I yelled at her an awful lot).

thanks for sharing your experience, Crissy.

[krgoff]

I really don't post here at MDC, but I read a lot. I figure it's time I try to get myself out there and get feeling better. I'm now 7 week PP with my daughter. I've been dealing with depression since I was in HS (I'm 23 now). It's been a long tough road of antidepressants and therapists. Of which nothing has helped me in the long run yet, it's all short term. I was on Zoloft when I was pregnant with her, but went off of it because it did very little for me. But I've been spiraling downward lately. I'm getting worse as the days go by and something has to get better for me, my kiddos can't see me like this. I have a lot of support, but sometimes my support gets angry at me and tells me the feelings I have make me an ugly person. Which as you all know makes the feelings worse.

I need to find something that is ok to take while breastfeeding. I can't give up the breastfeeding just to take an antidepressant because I know that would make me worse as I feel it's so important to nurse my babies.

I realize this is kind of a choppy introduction, sorry...

[shell024]

I've also been doing pretty okay. I have taken really good quality nutritional supplements for a long time (about 10 yrs), so my problem is postpartum anxiety/lonliness (that is just a vague self-diagnosis). Isolation... I have made myself leave the house (with baby) and go out and be with other HUMANS. Especially adult ones. Preferrably female. It does help. But then when I go home, the lonliness is back. Something is holding me back from really talking with DP about it. Is it shame? I'm usually one to act like everything is fine when it's not...

[annakiss]

Welcome, krgoff. to you. I would ask in breastfeeding about what anti-depressants are safe to take while bfding. I myself am not sure. I've heard good things about lexpro (sp?), but I'm not sure. I hope that you get well. It's not support if they're telling you that you're wrong for the feelings you're having. I too have dealt with depression since puberty, but I'm steadily finding my way out.

[georgia]

krgoff

Do you know what your dosage of Zoloft was? It might have not been enough...or it just might not be the right one for you.

Have you tried the supplements like the B vitamins, fish oil, flax seed oil, etc?? I'm not saying they're a cure-all for depression..but they don't hurt . Dr. Thomas Hale's recommendations for SSRIs are Zoloft (top choice), Paxil, Lexapro, Effexor and Prozac bringing up the rear.

Check here for more info:SSRIs

For me, breastfeeding was the only good thing I had going there for awhile. I couldn't give that up....hang in there...it's going to get better

[Gale Force]

krgoff -- Welcome to the PPD board! Can you tell us more about your experience on meds? How much? How you felt?

Originally Posted by shell024

I have taken really good quality nutritional supplements for a long time (about 10 yrs), so my problem is postpartum anxiety/lonliness (that is just a vague self-diagnosis).

Hi shell. You know, I was a health nut for a long time and took a lot of supplements and followed a good diet, but it wasn't good enough. I am deficient in Bs and essential fatty acids as well as amino acids. It's pretty shocking really when I look back at how diligent I was. I just wanted to say that because I certainly didn't think that my depression was caused by deficiencies and it was.

Supplements:
And just a general comment about vitamins, minerals, and essential fatty acids and depression. It takes months or years even for deficiencies to be reversed, so not everyone feels the effects immediately. In fact, the only thing I felt within a week was when I started taking a custom amino acid supplement, but those do go right into the bloodstream and almost immediately increase your amino levels. In my case, I was very low in tryptophan (among quite a few others). Tryptophan creates serotonin, so almost immediately my serotonin levels in my brain were up. Bingo. Much better than SSRIs in my opinion.

But that's not the end of the story because it was some of the key vitamins, minerals, and fats that probably fouled up my digestion to begin with, so I'm still working on those and supplementing the amino acids. At some point, the underlying problems will be fixed and I'll stop the amino acid supplementation.

[shell024]

Good point GaleForce, the vitamins I take...I usualyy take the compan'y's Bi-Omega and Optomega, which are all the essential fatty acids and aminos...but I stopped taking them at the end of pregnancy because of the taste...guess i should order more and see if it makes a difference.

[Gale Force]

And you know, it's just all really complicated too. I took Tyrosine early in my PPD. It's an amino, but not an essential amino. It's made by Phenylalanine, another amino acid. I am low in Phenylalanine and probably was low in Tyrosine too but it didn't bring an end to the down cycle when I supplemented Tyrosine and my next up cycle was a little more manic (possibly due to the Tyrosine -- mania is a possible side effect).

The more I am reading about aminos in particular the more I see why they do custom blends. They cost an arm and a leg, but too much of an amino is bad, just like too little is bad. And it took the combination for me to have the drammatic turn-around. But then, I was really very very low in several and needed all of them.

[Pepper]

Hi, just introducing myself here. I am 4 months post-partum and have been dealing with ppd for the past 8 weeks or so. I've just become motivated enough to actually try and improve it so here I am.

I'm taking 6 flax oil pills a day, a multi-B, multi vitamin, mineral, and I just began 700 mg of Inositol in the evenings.

I'm a vegetarian but am considering re-introducing egg into my diet for the aminos and protein...

Been feeling every-so-slightly better the past 3 days and am hoping that perhaps I will come out of this naturally but if not hoping that the supplements will help.

My main ppd symptom is constant anxiety peppered with hopelessness and rage. Yay! sounds like fun :

Hugs to us all

[shell024]

bad/confusing day... (this post might just be a rant)


well, 2 days actually. DP came back from his trip late Monday night. I was feeling pretty exhausted and in a dull mood earlier that day. Then yesterday I was on and off happy/sad/mad. Usually when DP is gone, I am in a generally good mood with bouts of loneliness. When he is here, it's like the things he does/doesn't do annoy the crap out of me! I feel like I'm doing all the parenting, and like that's all I am: a parent. I don't feel like his friend, lover, or soulmate lately. I am just the mother and that is what I must do; Mother. I mean, I take opportunities to give him chances to bond with the ds, but it's like I'm the one always initiating. Does he feel inferior or something that he isn't motivated to jump in and ask to hold ds, change his diaper, just play with him, help him get to sleep, let ME get some sleep. Or okay, if he isn't too keen on the whole "parenting" thing, why isn't he offering ME things? A massage, cook dinner, clean something??? I used to do things enthusiastically (offer him massages, cook a big healthy meal, have the house nice and clean, some good music playing, etc...) but now I just don't have the time/energy/motivation to do things just so! DP would usually follow my lead and chip in here and there...but now it's like... ugh. I dunno. Our communication just sucks lately. I feel ashamed to tell him that I am depressed...it usually comes out as "I'm just really tired and irritable...all the time". *sigh* It's hard to figure out a way to discuss it with him without feeling embarrassed, or like he just won't get it.

[Yummymummy74]

Can we get a quick recap on what diet can help PPD?

What sort of suppliments and what do you find is working for you?

[FancyD]

Welcome Pepper!

Hugs, shell024

Re: diet
I take multi-vitamins, calcium/magnesium, and evening primrose. I try to eat as fresh a diet as possible, organic meat when I can. Lots of water! I think having a place to unload has helped me immeasurably, so many thanks to annakiss The very act of admitting that I was unwell and needed SOMETHING was the beginning of being well again. It broke down the crazy construct I had built out of my life. Love to us all, "this too shall pass..."

[CityGirl]

Hi everyone.

What an intense thread.

I'm Hope, 32 year old mama to a 4 year old daughter and an 8 month old son. It's been a rough year and I've experienced some scarily deep, dark periods of depression and anxiety.

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer the day I gave birth to my son. My pride at having a successful homebirth VBAC was obviously greatly tempered by this. My husband had been hospitalized with a terrifying, sudden autoimmune attack when I was about 7 months pregnant, so I was already jittery (he's fine, but it was awful). We bought a house in the country (we live in a major city) and we just lost it So, it's been kind of a shitty year.

My children are absolutely wonderful, which of course just makes it worse when I feel like I'm not being the best mother I can be to them. The guilt over having a new baby and not being able to devote the time I used to to my older child is intense. (The guilt is always intense over something.) Since my son was born and even when I was pregnant with him, I would spiral into these black periods where it was like everything around me was dark. Hopeless. Worthless. Horrible. I couldn't see any light, any goodness, I couldn't even cry. I was numb, frozen. This is happening less lately but I suspect only because I'm holding myself together by the skin of my teeth because those episodes shake me so much. I come out of them feeling totally traumatized. I didn't know I had it in me to feel so dark.

Anyway, I have a prescription for Zoloft waiting for me at the pharmacy, but I've been delaying and delaying picking it up. I'm not sure why. I don't want to admit I need it, I guess.

[shell024]

CityGirl! That really sucks that one thing just happens after another in one year! I totally feel you on that... I'm sure your kids do not care what you do or don't get done, and they know that you love them, that's what's important. That sounds like a lot of stress though, for one woman to hold on her shoulders! Maybe there is someone who could help you get some things done and leave you to just go have a relaxing fun day with your family. Create your own holiday you know? You deserve it mama. Feel free to let anything out that you need to, pm or email me if you wanna get some steam out. Well, I think it's definitely a good thing that you know you don't like those depression periods. Sometimes I am scared that I hang around in my depressed periods longer because I get more sympathy at times (not always the case). Like I am craving some recognition or appreciation for the simple things that I do, but can never seem to find it. DP is very supportive of anything I do, but sometimes I just feel like I can't connect to him emotionally when I'm really down. But, he is a wonderful shoulder to cry on when I just break down and let it all out. *sigh*

[FancyD]

Just a quick to you all! Hope everyone is doing okay!

[CRISSY]

Hay girls whats up!!! Alot has been going on it was my dd 1rst bday on the 6th so that was exciting. I've been doing realy good tryen to stay busy. I gotta say though the past two days have been rough. I don't know what triggers it but like a slap in the face I felt it again. I don't know if it was the fact that I noticed how good I was doing or the fact that I was scared that it would come back. But it did. I don't know what it was I was doing so f---- good. Maybe I just couldn't let myself feel good longer then I did. I just don't know. I wish there was just a way to tell myself that I'm allowed to feel good I'm allowed to laugh, love, feel joy, I'm allowed to just enjoy my girls and not ponder over the awful thoughts. I can't seem to forgive myself for them. Maybe I'm being punished for somthing I said or did. If that's what it is I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY. BAD DAY its just so hard to have such good days and then to lose it over a thought. It's like dangling somthing in front of someone and ripping it away.. With a snicker... I hope everyone else is doing good and I appaligise to be such a downer I just pray for better days. Please better days.!!!! P.S. Girls keep your head up and keep laughing there just gotta be better days!!!!