Help! The dreaded automatic flusher!

[CurlyTop]

My DD is almost 3.5 yo and just last week started using the toilet. No more dipes here (I am really glad!). Last Thurs we went to the library and the darn toilet automatically flushed while she was sitting on it! I was holding her for stability and she leapt into my arms terrified. Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!

Now she will not go near a toilet except in our house. She talks about how she knows our toilet doesn't automatically flush, and that only very few do, and that I can tell her which ones are which (she can tell by looking for the lever). No use. We went to a theme park yesterday and she wouldn't go. A different library today, and no go. She is afraid to approach the toilet, nevermind sit on it.

Any ideas for what to do now? We played a game this morning where we switched off pretending to be a toilet and an unsuspecting "user." The user would say, "I hope this toilet doesn't flush!" then "whooosh!" goes the toilet and the user runs away laughing. This didn't seem to make any difference today out & about tho.

CurlyTop

[irinam]

My DD had that too! Never figured out "what to do about it" tho... she just outgrew it

[kewb]

My ds was the same way. He outgrew it as well. What I did do was explain to him how the automatic flusher worked and how when he was going I would keep my hand on the sensor so it could not activate and then I would wait until he was done, pants up and opened the stall door and out before letting it flush. It was not the easiest manuever but it did help until he grew out of it.

[~*max*~]

Oh yes, the infamous self-flushers. When we were in Disney last winter my 3 year old dd was terrified by this. It was just a matter of time and exposure before she felt comfortable.(She had no choice there. They all did that.) We stood next to the potty a few times and listened to them self-flush. When I could I'd warn her it was going to flush. I'd be sure to stand right next to her while she was on the potty, so I could reassure her.

I don't blame the little ones for being afraid of this. It is loud and scary when you're taken by surprise.

Good luck.

[AuntNi]

Oh, I hate those things! Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for you, but putting your hand over the sensor does sound like a good idea.

I have a funny-but-awful story about one at our local mall. I love the family room at our mall, especially the little potty. I didn't remember that the little potty had an auto flusher until it went "WHOOOOSH" while DD was sitting on it. She squealed in fright, which set off a voice-activated intercom to the security station. A disembodied voice asked, "Is everything OK in there?" over the intercom, which totally freaked out my DD. All these sounds are magnified by the tile, so now we're surrounded by the reverberations of WHOOOOSH auto flushing, DD's constant squealing, and the guard keeps asking, "Is everything OK?" so DD is also scared of some strange voice coming out of nowhere. It was awful!!!

We finally left, and poor DD was so traumatized that she actually started holding her pee for a few weeks, culminating in a minor UTI. Now, every time we're in a public restroom, she wants to make sure any toilet we use does NOT flush automatically.

[Unreal]

well, our situation is a bit different--
but the solution, I hope can be the same.

We EC'd our son, which meant holding him over the toilet when out and about.

He's 2.5 now and while he'll sit on our toilet at home, he usually won't sit on toilets out in the world.

The solution we have is to hold him like we used to, so he doesn't have to sit.

Basically he stands with his back to us, we scoop him up from behind the knees (so one hand is behind each knee and his back is against my chest--and his butt is hangin' free :LOL ), angle him, and tell him to go ahead.

He's 42 lbs now...no featherweight...but this is an easy hold and it is only for a minute.

You could maybe try that out--tell her she doesn't have to sit, that you'll hold her so she can go...

There are still some places that he *hates*, but in general with this option, we don't have to worry about accidents or him holding it for too long

[G&B'sMama]

Those automatic flushers are terrible- it is the noise more than anything. DD (at age five) still does not like them, although she will go on one after several years of screeching and running in fear. I also cover the sensor and that works about 90% of the time.

[JillChristina]

We call these sneaky potties. My dd is also terrified of them. Every time we're out she'll ask me if the toilet she is using is a sneaky potty.

Thanks for the tip about covering the sensor!

Jill

[mommyoftwo]

Wow, who knew that this was such a common fear. My four year old dd and two year old ds are also terrified of them, that and the dreaded portapotty.
I just go into the stall first to look and make sure that it isn't an autoflush one. Luckily we don't encounter them too often. They also stand outside the stall while I flush-they think that public toilets are too loud.

There was a time when I travelled everywhere with the little potty in the trunk just in case.

[USAmma]

My dd was scared of them, too, until I showed her the "magic eye" that tells if you are on or off the toilet. I showed her how to wave her hand in front of it to make it flush. The "magic" about it overcame her fears. She also loves the "magic eyes" on the sink and towel dispensers.

[nonconformnmom]

My 3-year old isn't scared of the automatic flushers, she is angry with them! She is at that stage where she wants to do everything HERSELF! So the first time she used the potty with an automatic flusher and it flushed, she was absolutely indignant. She said, "I do! I do mySELF!" and all I could do was stand by helplessly, trying not to laugh. :LOL

[ABand3]

Sorry, no advice, just the same here. My 5 1/2 y.o DS is still scared of them. We've tried every pep talk, holding the sensor, every reassurance we can think of, and he won't get near them. He can hold it in a looong time. He understands how the flusher works and that he won't get hurt, but still no luck.

[CurlyTop]

I have a funny-but-awful story about one at our local mall. I love the family room at our mall, especially the little potty. I didn't remember that the little potty had an auto flusher until it went "WHOOOOSH" while DD was sitting on it. She squealed in fright, which set off a voice-activated intercom to the security station. A disembodied voice asked, "Is everything OK in there?" over the intercom, which totally freaked out my DD. All these sounds are magnified by the tile, so now we're surrounded by the reverberations of WHOOOOSH auto flushing, DD's constant squealing, and the guard keeps asking, "Is everything OK?" so DD is also scared of some strange voice coming out of nowhere. It was awful!!!

That story is so funny-but-awful I couldn't stop laughing. I am sorry this happened but what a nightmare. I'm still laughing.

Thanks to all of the posters. I now have some solid ideas to try. And I know this is not unusual, either. Thanks.

Today DD decided not to use any potty at all, even at home, and went both #1 & #2 in her panties. I was so annoyed (at the people who invented the auto-flusher, and at the people who can't be bothered to flush the toilet in public and thereby made the idea necessary, etc, etc) that I went and got a diaper and put it on her. I did stop myself from saying, "You can wear a diaper like a baby then!!" thank goodness !!

Then I re-thought it and let her know that I know she can use the potty and that she will when she's ready. Meanwhile, we would just try and work really hard to get onto the potty when she needs to go, but no more dipes. I guess I'll be staying home for a few days. Ugh.

In my toolbox now, thanks to you moms:
- Magic Eye experiment
- Cute new name, "Sneaky toilets"
- EC Hold to try if she'll go for it

CurlyTop

[CurlyTop]

Oh NO!

Now DD will not use any toilet, even at home, or a potty seat. She has gone both #1 & 2 in her panties today. She has become matter of fact about needing a dry pair of panties, "I peed in my panties again. I need another pair." Ugh. On the kitchen chair, on the bathroom rug, on the stool, kitchen and living room floors. Now I'm getting angry and frustrated. I told her that I had a great idea, I'd hold her safe and sound way above the toilet and she could just let the pee fall in - she freaked out, stiff as a board, yelling NO! She is really scared of the toilet. She says she might be flushed down. We have talked and talked and she always says she's not afraid. Then into the bathroom for another meltdown.

What should I do?

[momma2mingbu]

Not sure how to get her back onto the public toilet, but I used to hold my hand in front of those sensors when my kids were afraid of the auto-flush.

[KKmama]

My 4 yr old is still terrified of them. FWIW, he really dislikes pretty much *all* loud noises.

When Z was younger, I could just hold my hand over the "eye" for T. Now that Z is older (and squirmier), I've found a better solution: drape a piece of toilet paper (or paper towel) over the eye. When T is all done and near the door (if a stall, otherwise, washed his hands and ready to go, near the exit door), I flick the TP into the toilet with my foot. The TP will keep the eye from flushing till it's uncovered again.

[CurlyTop]

So here's what happened. I spent the a.m. playing "afraid of the toilet" games with the girls. I pretended to be terrified of the toilet, asking them to save me, running away screaming - all in a mock horror way that left no doubt it was a game. Then after we laughed together a long time with me being the scared one and them both reassuring me over and over, we switched gears.

I told DD1 (the one who has the toilet fear) that I was going to help her, that I didn't want her to have to be afraid of the toilet anymore. It was time for her to sit on the toilet. She cried and resisted, but staying in the bathroom with me. I continued to reassure her, saying I could see how scary it was for her, but I knew she could do it. Then I let her know I was going to help her take her panties off and sit up on the toilet. She cried but didn't prevent me from doing what I said I was going to do. She said, "Let me off!"
and I told her she could get off whenever she wanted. She seemed to find that surprising and then hopped off onto the floor. We went through this (me putting her up there and her hopping off) many many times (maybe 15 times? more?). Then when she seemed pretty calm about it, I said if she could put herself up on the potty, we could stop for now and put on panties and go do something else until she needed to go. She did!

Then later after lots of juice to drink, we went back in and she let me put her on the potty and she went. Today we've been out of the house (yay!) and she has gone at home and in a potty seat I brought in our van with us.

She's still got a way to go with the public toilets. I found out (too late) that the library's stall right next to the one we used has a low toilet, low tissue dispenser, and NO AUTO FLUSHER. "Information that would have been useful YESTERDAY!" (did anyone see "Wedding Singer"?)

So I wanted to update you all. She did have to cry a lot and shed a lot of fear, but she did all that with me by her side, in a pretty quick period of time. I'm very proud of her.

Thanks for all your support,
CurlyTop

[SquirelNutkin]

My niece is also terrified on these.
For her, it helped for me to go into the stall holding her hand, talk her thru getting on, then singing Itsy Bitsy Spider while squatting at her eye level. When I got to "down went the rain," we sing WOOSH together.
There is a lot of encoragement and gentle talking.

This works great for her, but I have to say its impossible with other small children if you are the only adult! I suppose if we manage to get a handicap stall, we could all get in there, but other wise its pretty stressful that you dont ahve tabs on the other kids (my son is big on leaving when he is done!)

Good luck
b

[hipumpkins]

DD loved to yell, "LOUD!!!" as they would flush. Kinda funny her trying to top the flusher.

[tayndrewsmama]

Originally Posted by Unreal

The solution we have is to hold him like we used to, so he doesn't have to sit.

Basically he stands with his back to us, we scoop him up from behind the knees (so one hand is behind each knee and his back is against my chest--and his butt is hangin' free :LOL ), angle him, and tell him to go ahead.

Oh that is an awesome idea! We don't have a problem with the auto flushers here because ds can't get past the fact that toilet seat is not the same as in a house. He's only 26 months now and is too little to sit on them and won't sit sideways. The kid must have a huge bladder, 'cause everytime he sees one of those seats he says "No Potty Mama!"

Thank you, thank you!