Am I Crazy- Could You Do It?

[Starr]

The situation is this, Dh and I both make reasonably good money, nothing extravagant but good for just starting out. Right now we have our house loan, my student loan, a misc loan (from furnace breaking), CC (more than I would like), a small appliance/ furniture loan, and two car/truck payments, I'm sure there are more but DH does all the finances. We just recently maxed out our adoption loan and still have a few expenses left mainly travel. Each month we are able to get by but things can get tight.

My in laws live a mile away out in the country. I don't exactly love them to pieces but we get along. They just built a huge house and a storage shed. While we live in town. Our town has just notified us that our garbage/ sewer and water bill will all be going up in January. Its getting expensive. Tonight I am going to talk to DH about possibly selling our house and seeing if we could move into the lower level of his parents house. The couple we bought our house from has said in the past they would be interested in buying it back. Of course we would have to get more than what we bought from from them since we added a new furnace and such. So the extra money from the sale of house culd pay off our misc. loan. And I figured the minimum amount we would be saving each month is $1,500, probably more when you figure heating. This would allow us to pay off all CC, the minor appliance loan, and still save money... all in 6 months of living with them. And if we did a year we would be soo much better off.

I know it wouldn't be easy but I think in the long run it would be much better for our family. Their lower level has 2 bedrooms, a bath, and a huge family room. We could easily convert one bedroom into a nursery and sleep in the other. We sould keep our desk, table, and livingroom furniture. The rest of the stuff we don't need we could either store or sell. My in laws have a well so we wouldn't have to pay for the increase in water and my FIL works for the telephone company so he doesn't pay for telephone or cable. And my MIL just started working odd hours and isn't home to make supper. Plus they would get to see the baby more.

Is this do able? Would the sacrifices be worth it? My family is close by if I ever need to get away, but they don't have room for us. I'm talking to DH tonight and hopefully we can decide.

[Starr]

Bump. Really need advice.

[Alkenny]

Depends on how well you get along with your IL's and if they'd be the meddling type. I lived above my dad and stepmom for a SHORT while...we moved ASAP. I know alot of people that co-habitate like this (and even WITHIN the same household) with no problems though.

[Throkmorton]

Yes, it really depends on how well you get along with the IL's. I suppose I could do this with my parents if they had room, but there is no way I could handle living that close to the IL's.

[Starr]

From the get go we would have to agree that we need our own family time and when the door downstairs is closed then don't just come down. MIL works from 11am- 8pm. So she has even volunteered to watch the baby in the morning until she goes to work. Like I said rules would have to be established. I thought the deal could kind of be we live down and finish it off for rent and then when we leave its all finished for them. We would need to install some carpet and I would want to paint the rooms to make it feel homy. They had already looked into installing carpet and were going to do it this winter. There basement is a walkout so there is a patio door to the outside with a little poured patio for us to use. They only use the top floor because they have bad knees. My second question is does anyone know how this could affect our adoption post placement?

[Starr]

Forgot to mention one last thing. I do realize this would be huge of them to help us out. They have helped out DH's brothers in the past with quite large amounts of money for them to get back on their feet, I would rather not ask them for money but instead have us get ourself back on our feet. Does this make sense?

[momto l&a]

If you think they are people you could live with.

How are their parenting practices, do they jive with yours?

Are they people that butt into your business?

Sounds like it could be a good situation.

[dietzamom]

Originally Posted by Starr

Forgot to mention one last thing. I do realize this would be huge of them to help us out. They have helped out DH's brothers in the past with quite large amounts of money for them to get back on their feet, I would rather not ask them for money but instead have us get ourself back on our feet. Does this make sense?

I think the idea is spectacular!! Way back when in the old days, this is how people helped people. Families lived together and helped each other. I don't know what happened to change all that, but if this is a possibility, go for it.

Financially you will be better off, not only for yourselves, but your child too.

If you are not paying anything however, the rules probably won't hold.

[Starr]

Anyone ever done this before? What rules were there and what do you wish you would have done different?

[Ryver]

MIL is living with us right now. She's selling her condo and buying a house near us for all of us to move into. For the past 3 months, we've been living in a one bedroom apartment and no one has died yet. Rules are tough, people always bristle at them. I think trying to be honest and open is how it works best, but then that sucks too. I just don't know what to advise, I'd have to say if I could do all this differently, I would.

[krisnic]

We considered it, but decided not to do it. We just didn't want to follow "rules" such as this is my house and you will do this because of the reason, etc.

What did your dh say about it?

[Snowdrift]

How do you Dh and his dad feel about this?

We lived with my in-laws for six months before we were married when I graduated college. It was great all around except that after a few months there was a lot of friction between DH and his dad. Something about men and their fathers, I dunno.

[kewb]

My immediate thought was a very loud "NO!!!!!!!" However, if this really was the best way for our family to get on our feet and we could set some ground rules then I could do it.

[Shiloh]

What about getting a trailer on their property if its that big?
Same building not a great idea IMO.

[Eman'smom]

What are housing prices doing in your area? What if you sell your house but housing prices keep going up as fast as they are, could you afford to get back into a house? Intrest rates are also climbing that might mean less house for your money when you try buy again.

For us we could never do it with either set of parents, but if you can more power to you.

[mykdsmomy]

This is such a tough one...but first of all, is your adoption finalized? If it's final, then it wont matter...if not, the county may or may not like it....just depends ...
As far as living with il's I could NOT do it....but then again I have EXTREMELY meddling in-laws and my own parents are even worse. We lived next door to my mom for four years and It was HORRIBLE.....I seriously would think it through if I were you.....BUT ....if your in laws are kind and willing to respect boundaries, then it could be a great experience for you......good luck with this decision!!! HTH.......
Also, could you re-fi your house and consolidate debt? just a thought

[mum2be]

Would it be possible to rent out your current home to break even with the mortgage, bills, etc.?? That way if the real estate prices keep going up, a little ways down the road you could make a bigger profit. Also, if in 4 years you are better off financially and want to move back, you could.

I think living with your in-laws wouldn't be so bad. Perhaps they could take care of your children when you and your dh want to go out? They could be pretty handy!

We are in the same position as you are now, but we're selling our house and down-sizing in a smaller town. As long as you all are together...that's what really matters.

Good luck!

[becca011906]

Ok YES i have done this before. me and dh moved in together in a rental when i got pregnant with ds and i was finishing up high school... then we got so so sick of renting and losing $$ so we wanted to buy... well i wasn't going to be 18 til the summer after i graduated so for about 6 months we lived with dh's parents while we saved up lots of $ for a down payment on our trailer, paid off all dh's credit cards, and i attended CNA school while working too. It was great, although i get along great with dh's parents and love them to peices, they don't enterfear at all with my parenting ways and never over rule me or anything... it was very help ful. I had ds at home with me from 9am til 3pm just me and him then my dh got home and i was off to work 4 nights a week from 4-10 while dh had ds home with his mom and dad and all was well there. I would cook dinner at 3 before going to work so dh, and his parents would have dinner there when they all got home from work. We had a lot less room then you will have, me and dh had 2 bedrooms 1 we all slept in the other was our living, we all had ONE bathroom and all still love eachother! LOL

[stafl]

to answer your original question, NO, I could not do it. What did your DH say? He probably knows his parents well enough to know if that would work for you all or not. Trust his initial reaction to your suggestion and go with that. If his eyes got all big-scaredy-looking and his jaw hit the floor, take that as a sign that it is not a very good idea.

Do you have enough equity that you can refinance your mortgage, pay off the higher interest debt, and lower your monthly bills? That's what we just did, and we got enough cash back to do the improvements our house needs in order to be able to sell it in a few years.

[weliveintheforest]

I think I could do it, if my inlaws lived in the same town. We did try to live with my DH's grandparents though, and it did NOT work. The original idea was that we would live in their basement suite, but there was no fridge and stove so we were essentially living with them, and I absolutely do not get along with them. I wish it had though, no rent really allows you to save up!

If you think you will have your own space, I'd say its a good idea. I also agree with mum2be, it might be a good idea to rent out your home for a while, that way you can make money on it but still own it to sell later. Someone else paying off your mortgage would be a good thing

Good Luck!