Originally Posted by mykdsmomy
But my question about letting them choose what they watch, wear, eat, etc.....what if they choose to watch something like Desperate Housewives when they're 10? What if they choose to open the fridge up and pick out pickles for dinner five nights in a row? What if they want to wear a leather mini skirt and tube top when we got out for grandma's dinner?
We talk about TV and movies, and they've learned that the way they dress affects how other people react to them and how well prepared they are for various activities. They don't need to do stupid things just for a reaction because they are truly free. Because they are able to make simple choices such as what to eat for dinner, what to wear to art class, etc, I think they are learning the underlying principles for making bigger decisions as they get older.
|I was talking to a lady this morning who has a 15 year old who refuses to help out around the house, is always demanding her laundry clean, and who complains when dinner is not to her liking.....the mama told me...."all i can tell you, Judy is to be really strict with your kids because I wasnt and now i'm paying for it ) She was basically saying her kids were brats because she gave them what they wanted as kids.... :|
I think there is a really really big difference between allowing kids to manage their own lives and allowing them to boss others (esp. their moms!) around! This girl is bossing her mom around and most likely has been since she was a toddler.
For me, the balance comes in being clear about what I will and won't do for them. For example, my kids don't have to eat what I make for dinner but I won't make them something else. They are free to grap/fix something else FOR THEMSELVES. I don't do short order cooking because it annoys me. So often people think that if you aren't controlling your kids, then the only other option is for your kids to control you. There is a 3rd path.
There are times that I tell my kids "no" about things but they are few and far between. There were more "no's" when they were younger. Now it just doesn't come up much.