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Complain-O-Matic 2005!

Poll Results: Complain-O-Matic: What's yer problem, matey?

This is a multiple choice poll
  • 4% (11)
    Too big. According to strangers.
  • 3% (9)
    Too small. According to strangers.
  • 5% (14)
    Braxton Hicks O' Nothin' Doin'.
  • 10% (24)
    Dude, I just peed myself. Or something.
  • 7% (18)
    Hungry? I'll just have two of whatever you're having.
  • 10% (26)
    Insomniacs unite and party at night.
  • 9% (22)
    A burning heart, not from love but from Ben and Jerry's 2am visit.
  • 15% (37)
    Faulty back/sides/hips/entire body, and no receipt.
  • 6% (16)
    Inconsequential strangers are suddenly annoying. I feel unpleasant urges.
  • 8% (21)
    Baby trying to escape via secret belly button hatch.
  • 3% (9)
    Crying jags in Safeway checkouts seem to upset clerks.
  • 7% (18)
    Yeti Yoni.
  • 4% (10)
    Flu/Cold/illnesses are having a party in my body.
  • 0% (2)
    My doula/midwife/OB just quit due to "creative differences."
  • 0% (1)
    HELP! GD is not working with my fetus!(wrong forum)
238 Total Votes  
post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
Please, vote early and often! Is there anything I've forgotten?
post #2 of 26
This is too funny :LOL

I voted:
Braxton Hicks O' Nothin' Doin'.
Insomniacs unite and party at night.
A burning heart, not from love but from Ben and Jerry's 2am visit.
post #3 of 26
HILARIOUS. OMG. I love it. My favorite is "Dude, I just peed myself. Or something." Classic. Beautiful. I am very proud to have laid "Yeti Yoni" down in history.

To my own complaint list, I would add
"scratch,scratch,scratch The bed bugs seem to have followed me out of bed",
"Wowwie I miss breathing without a human being lodged in my lung",
"Can't take this poll, gotta pee. In fact, that's pretty much all I do. Pee.",
and "Sex? ? Ummmm...............no. See all of the above."
post #4 of 26
oh thats good :LOL thank you its good to make light of our many complaints.. i just think of all of the places around the world where woman have little to eat, no health care and give birth somewhere in a field and just keep on working.i try to remember that ive got it easy. we all have... even if my hips and pubic bone feel like they are going to break when i move and my heart is burnin and i piss myself when i cough or sneeze and my yoni is yetti and wetti we still are friggin lucky. and soon we will have sweeet little babies in our arms!!!!!!!
post #5 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by zjande
To my own complaint list, I would add
"scratch,scratch,scratch The bed bugs seem to have followed me out of bed",
"Wowwie I miss breathing without a human being lodged in my lung",
"Can't take this poll, gotta pee. In fact, that's pretty much all I do. Pee.",
and "Sex? ? Ummmm...............no. See all of the above."
Ya, those!
post #6 of 26

I you for making me smile... it's quite a feat to be accomplished these days!!!
post #7 of 26
What an awesome thread!

I'm in on:

Brax Hicks Nothin' Doin
Faulty body! (hello, can I hold ANYTHING without dropping it?) Why do I feel super menstral crampy every time I have to poop?

How about many, many acquaintences saying "wow - you've dropped"

On top of this, I have a really really fun YEAST infection! Whoppeee!!!!
post #8 of 26
Insomniacs unite! (as I do a 3 am post- thank you universe for MDC, because 3 am television is terrible!)

:LOL :LOL
post #9 of 26
I just checked off half the things!
Can't tell if I have yeti yoni or not considering tha I havent' been able to get a look at it in weeks!!!
post #10 of 26
Oh, that's good.

I voted

Braxton Hicks
Insomnia
CRYING JAGS - my husband thinks I've gone insane!
Baby trying to escape through belly button. This has been going on since about 20 weeks. Ouch!

Thanks for the laugh!
post #11 of 26
Baby trying to escape via secret belly button hatch.-- I didn't know anyone else had this problem!!! Seriously, it feels as if he is tryng to kick his way out!!
(visiting from Jan. board)
post #12 of 26
Too funny!

I second the Dropsies. My gosh, it is so darn frustrating how many things I drop in a day. I sure hope it goes away before I have an innocent newborn in my clumsy paws.

Gas anyone? :

Or Moving as slow as a sleeping sloth...and still feeling like you just ran a marathon?
post #13 of 26
This is very funny!! I voted yeti yoni because I can't get waxed until my lochia stops. :

I *did* have most of the rest of it.

Can we add "screaming painful boobs" and "crime scene lochia" to the complaint list???? :LOL
post #14 of 26
heehee!

I finally took a Pepcid AC before dinner last night (per midwife's recommendation) and it made SUCH a world of difference! I felt better the whole evening and "only" woke up from hip pain, pelvic pain and leg cramps.
:LOL
post #15 of 26
It's hard to choose only one!

But, my biggest pregnancy challenge has been that people are dropping from the birth like flies...first, my OB said I was a liability and dropped me from service. Second, my MW apprentice left the practice and is now studying in South America (good for her though!). Third, my best friend is all of a sudden going out of town the whole week I am due after committing to be the MC for all things related to running the house and my dog's support person.

I have felt great physically though!!! I just have a bunch of people who don't seem to want to be around the birth.
post #16 of 26
I think I said yes to more then not.... HMMMM, 13 days & counting ( on going over my due date :LOL )

I laughed out loud - which was Much needed!!!!!

Thanks Mama!!!! Laura
post #17 of 26
I absolutely laughed out loud and I checked nearly every box. :LOL

I don't get the last one though...what's GD?

Christa
post #18 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by crsta33
I don't get the last one though...what's GD?
"Gentle Discipline". I checked that one. Blobby is a bad, bad girl at 4 am.

And to be honest, the only reason I'm using "gentle discipline" techniques is cause if I spank her, it really does "hurt me more than it hurts her"!!!!!
post #19 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by BensMom
Too funny!

Gas anyone? :

Or Moving as slow as a sleeping sloth...and still feeling like you just ran a marathon?
Oooohhhhh yeah...on both accounts!

This poll is GREAT! Thanks for making me laugh out loud about all of my whiny complaints! Personally afflicted to the Nth degree with "Dude, I just peed myself", "Yeti Yoni" and "Baby trying to escape through secret hatch in belly button". I only started experiencing that last one in the last 72 hours...all I can say is OUCH!!!!!
post #20 of 26
Thread Starter 
Well, and I did mean this "GD not working with fetus" in a certain tongue-in-cheek way -

"I understand that you feel like kicking me from within right now and playing cat's cradle with my intestines, little baby boy, but mama would like to sleep so that she can go to work tomorrow, and it is 3 AM. Can I use a distraction tool, perhaps? Maybe a nice glass of warm milk or glass of bordeaux? Is this developmentally appropriate? "

It. just. doesn't. work. Argh!

(Note: I do not actually drink bordeaux as a sleep aid. While pregnant.)

And, I do GD as well, at least by my definition of GD.
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