Baby after a m/c

[sarahlynn83]

I just found out that I was pregant again on Tuesday. I am really excited, but at the same time I am afraid to tell anyone or really talk about it. I lost my first baby two months ago yesterday. It is almost bitter sweet. I am still sad but at the same time I am happy and these emotions are overwhelming since all of the hormone crazieness. Does anyone have any suggestions? Is there anything that I should or should not do to make sure that I do not m/c again. I am worried about that too?

Thanks,
Sarahlynn83

[MyLittleWonders]

I don't think there is really anything you can do to prevent another m/c. My thinking is that if they are going to happen then they will. I also have read that one m/c doesn't change your likelihood of carrying any future pregnancies full-term.

My ds#2 came following a m/c. He was actually born one week and one year after I m/c'd. The situation was a little different because by the time I figured out I was pregnant, I only had a week or so to worry, because once I went to the doctor, she did an u/s and we found I was further along than I thought, and almost through the first trimester. But, the worry was still there, just under the surface, until he started moving and I could feel it.

I think the thing is to just take it one proverbial day at a time. We thought about not telling people with ds#2, but then realized that wouldn't change the outcome of the pregnancy, and we wanted the support incase something did go wrong. But I know other mom's who don't tell anything until their first trimester is done because of a previous m/c. It's totally a personal thing.

I'm not sure how much if any spotting you had leading up to your m/c, but for me, even with this pregnancy, I still check each time I use the bathroom. But really, what I would suggest, is to just take care of yourself - rest when you need it, eat what you can stomach, and talk with your ob/midwife. Maybe they can keep track of your hcg levels for you for a while to make sure you are continuing to go up. Maybe they can do an earlier u/s for you to confirm good growth. (With my m/c we had warning signs about 3 weeks prior to knowing ... poor fetal growth and hard-to-find hb. That's why my OB did an u/s when I first went in with ds#2 ... just to confirm everything looked good.) And keep posting here ... support is awesome and needed.

[Gray's Mommy]

I don' thave much advice, but wanted to send you good vibes for a healthy pregnancy!!

mary

[Treasuremapper]

Congratulations! I am sorry you lost your first baby, but I am glad you got pregnant again so fast. In my case, that was the only thing that helped ease some of the heartbreak. I found the information on the site http://www.tryingtoconceive.com to be very helpful about miscarriages, progesterone, etc.

I miscarried my first baby, and got pregnant with Gracie just six weeks later. Gracie turns four years old in a few weeks!

Actually, there are things you might be able to do to prevent future miscarriages. Every situation is different. Do you know what caused the first miscarriage? Just asking, though you probably don't really know, since almost nobody knows about the first miscarriage.

In my case, I had enough information by the second pregnancy to know that low progesterone levels can cause miscarriage in an otherwise healthy pregnancy. So the minute I saw the barely visible line, I went to the OB and insisted on HcG and progesterone tests (she was pretty resistant). It turned out I had very low progesterone! That might have been the reason for the first m/c, but I'll never know, of course.

Anyway, I went on progesterone suppositories and Gracie was born right after her due date.

When I got pregnant again with Rosie (now two years old) I again insisted on being tested, and again, I had very low progesterone and went on progesterone suppositories. The difference is that with Rosie I also asked for a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist for monitoring. The RE was much better about monitoring the levels, knowledgeable about preventing miscarriage, etc.

The other thing I did was read Niravi Payne's book, called something like "The Whole Person's Fertility Program" which has some great stuff on miscarriage from an emotional level. I also went to a hypnotherapist and imagined a pink light of love surrounding the baby during the sessions and at home. (the sessions were once a week)

Finally, I did one thing I am not proud of, and which I did out of total ignorance. Only a mama who loses a baby and then conceives again a few weeks later would even think of such a drastic thing. I rented a babybeat monitor, which is the same kind OBs use, so that I could make sure the baby was alive whenever I was anxious something had happened to her. My first m/c was "missed" so I was shocked when I found the baby had died. The monitor helped keep me sane.

Good luck!

[TortelliniMama]

Originally Posted by inezyv

Finally, I did one thing I am not proud of, and which I did out of total ignorance. Only a mama who loses a baby and then conceives again a few weeks later would even think of such a drastic thing. I rented a babybeat monitor, which is the same kind OBs use, so that I could make sure the baby was alive whenever I was anxious something had happened to her. My first m/c was "missed" so I was shocked when I found the baby had died. The monitor helped keep me sane.

Same here, although I'm not really "not proud of" it. I really think that the levels of stress hormones I would have been producing constantly would have been even worse for the baby.

[Treasuremapper]

Lisa, that's a good point, I had not thought about the stress hormones, etc., affecting the pregnancy. This is helping me to forgive myself. The reason for my concern is that I used the real kind of heart monitor that that the OBs use (http://www.babybeat.com) and I feared it may be similar to ultrasound in terms of its impact on the unborn baby.

[TortelliniMama]

Yeah, that's the same one I had. I have somewhat mixed feelings about u/s, but, let me tell you, when I woke up one day at 14 weeks, went to the bathroom and discovered significant red bleeding, I was *so* thankful I had the doppler to tell me right away that my baby was still alive. Even beyond that sort of drastic situation, I'm a big worrier. I think ds would have come out with furrowed eyebrows and an ulcer if I hadn't been able to check for a few seconds here and there during pregnancy.

We all do the best we can, based on our situations and experiences. There are things other expectant moms did better at than I did, and things I did better than those other moms, and I'm sure the same goes for you.