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SAHMs: Is your house a disaster at the end of the day?!? - Page 3

post #41 of 65
by 5 pm my house is neat and clean. Dinner is being prepared and the kitchen is also neat...

by 10 pm (my dh comes home at 5pm and goes to sleep around 10pm) it's as if a hurricane has hit. I would like to think that at 5 I can rest a bit and my dh will assist in keeping up witht he mess... but he doesn't. He and my ds take toys out and leave them there, pile dishes in the sink, don't pick up after the dogs (we have a samoyed who leaves a police-outline of hair where ever he lays and I pick it up... dh doesn't), throw couch cushions on the ground, leave boots/ shoes in the living area, trapse in mud on shoes, etc etc etc and when they both are in bed then I get to clean AGAIN. ugh.
post #42 of 65
Our house is semi-organised right now, but there have been times past where the mess, clutter & chaos have been totally out of control.... I think that things have gotten better as the kids get older (7 & 5 now), no doubt because they now understand the value of keeping their small toys in one spot ie: legos or saddle club horse brushes...... And Mr. Vacuum Cleaner now eats stray toys in our house......

:LOL


Actually, I'm not that mean, but the kids do realise that if a small plastic object is hidden just under the edge of the couch, then chances are the vac is going to suck it up. But I have also been known to pull apart a bag if something precious is suspected to be inside.....

That said, keeping a house 'in order' is a whole different game when you have babies & toddlers. When my kids were that age, it was really a matter of chaos management- it does pass & life does get easier for us sahms.

I have been using the fly lady in the past 2 months or so, but only with things that I pick & choose. I definitely don't put on shoes, & there's no way I get dressed straight out of bed, much less make the damn thing. That said, I do get alot of joy (sad, I know!) out of just spending 15 minutes getting rid of junk in my life. Heck, I think I could do it all day if I moved from room to room....

Anyway, I better post & run, as we've got a big storm moving in from the west now. I have more thoughts on a clean house & being kind to yourself at the same time, but that'll have to wait for another time in case the electricity goes.....
post #43 of 65
Well, I am a self proclaimed Flylady dropout as I don't wear shoes inside , ever. I think it's unsanitary. My feet know when it's time to get up and move, thanks

BUt I do try to take certain principles I've learned through such programs.I do quick 5 minute room pick ups, I work gradually on projects for organizing, or take an hour and rush to do it. I also try not to be scared or intimidated of my house:LOL I try to keep positive. I also do better if I can organize my chores in my mind. Into small chuncks of time, and by project. And once I do alot of chores, usually one night a week I ernd up cleaning alot at once, I start quickly doing things I don't normally think about doing. Cleaning under microwave, organizing a shelf here or there, babyproofing more, etc.

I just have to have a clean house at the end of the day. I wake up feeling better
post #44 of 65
seriously I could go on and on about this issue..


I'm NOT tidy to begin with, so when I read advice about just let the house go and take care of the kids, I TOOK IT! LOL!

another SAHM who is now a grandma/friend of the family told me, one day when her babes were little, she just realized that if she was going to keep the house really clean, she'd have to follow them around ALL DAY picking up behind them. That would be a huge waste of time.

I go around right before DH comes home and get the main mess in the front room. That helps him to feel more at ease when he comes home. Even if I hve to scoop it into a laundry basket or something, at least most of it is off the floor.

teaching kids to pick up is hard training, but worth it in the long run.

but don't spank your kids or anything to get them to be clean themselves, that is sick. you can use a stcker chart for rewards when they get 10 stickers or soemthing, or tiemouts if they don't pick up when the timer goes off, or something, lol!

i try to only pick up 2-3 times a day max!
post #45 of 65
My house looks like a tornado hit most of the time, and I only have one 5 month old son. We don't spend much time here cause we live in a tiny 750 sqft mobile home. We also have 1 dog and three cats and dh works about 60 hours a week and coaches hockey, so he is not home much to play with aidan. So, I agree with most of you that I would rather spend time being mom, playing with the baby and worrying less about cleaning. DH is not a neat freak by any means. He doesn't complain until the house is destroyed. When I ask him why he doesn't ever help out when he is here he says I will clean when it gets to where I cannot stand it anymore. Which is not very often. In order to stay at home with aidan I sell baby clothes online, so those are taking over the house. If I could find time to organize and separate them I think the house wouldn't be as bad. it is kind of stressful, but I am glad I am not alone in that! I feel much better about that knowing as i sit here NAK looking at my disaster that there are others out there. I have laundry going, and I have stuff taken down for supper, now I need to post some baby clothes, so I can pay for my car payment,
post #46 of 65
Yes mine is a MESS!
I worked for a couple months and it got awful w/o me there to clean up dds' and dh's stuff.
post #47 of 65
I too suck at maintenance. I feel like I'm cleaning all day with no results. Of course with two extremely busy kids, it's hard to keep up with them let alone the mess. I try to get DS to help but then I have DD right behind us taking things apart, lol!

Laundry, that's a whole other issue! We don't have a dryer and it's been raining almost constantly lately so I'm way behind in that. I have two racks of diapers hanging here in the living room and a basement full of stuff hanging which contributes to the clutter. Dishes are another thing I HATE! I long for the day we can have a dish washer, but if we can't afford a dryer, how could we afford that

The way I look at it is our house is cluttered and messy but not dirty.
post #48 of 65
yes yes yes!!!

it is so hard............although it DOES get better when they are older, sort of..........I keep having another baby and so the progress gets outshadowed by the sheer number of folks who are here all day!

Homeschoolers and moms of kids who are actually HOME all day, your house just cant look like the peoples homes where everyone is gone all day! People live in your home, and it shows! Its ok. Even though it sucks. I try so hard to not be mean and crabby about it all.........

MY BAD "habit" is, because we have a big baby gate in front of our kitchen, i use the kitchen as a safe zone to dump EVERYTHING into so our toddler doesnt touch/wreck it. It is a small kitchen and this backfires really quickly.

Here is what happens:

We eat breakfast, 5 or 6 people depending if DH eats with us and or if i am babysitting (i sometimes watch a little 4 y/o girl too). Ok, so to clear the table, i put everthing in the sink.

time for "school", doing stuff at the table, well 8y/o might do something civilized and non-filthy like paperwork but to keep toddler happy he wants glue and paint and then 5 y/o is "all done" and goes and takes out cars so baby throws his tray down and glue is all over the wall and so there goes dining room and i chase them all away to watch a show so i can clean up the whole table mess by myself. \

Time for "we're starving we want a snack" so all the paperwork and gluey stuff and wet pictures go into the kitchen all over the floor and tiny counter space and chest freezer, so toddler doesnt get into any of it..and then i make a snack,,,,,,,so i might give that to them in front of the TV but then we have to vacuum

clean up of snack involves vacuuming, more little cups etc in the kitchen

try to go outside or something before LUNCH............

LUNCH in which i cook some big sand which, soup, fruit yadda yadda beg older kids to take care of toddler so i can cook, they take out a zillion toys for him, all he does is hang on the gate and cry.........serve and eat the lunch........clean up the lunch which means you guessed it pile more s**t into the already full sink (it is 11 am) and wipe down the table.

try to play something non messy with them until naptime.

nap for toddler. What should I do? clean the whole kitchen until he wakes up? Do some more schooly stuff with older kids? Lay down b/cause i am 41 weeks pregnant and am gonna keel over? Take a bath???

None of these is ever the "right" choice, if i spend the whole nap on the kitchen i am so horrifyingly exhausted that i am quite mean from 2-7 pm which is when Dada comes home. If I rest, then the filth is still there, you cant even see the floor from all the pictures and crafts and i dont make any kind of good dinner cause there are no dishes or pots and we order pizza. If i do school stuff there is a new mess to put--?? in the kitchen--when tot wakes up.......and there is still a ruined kitchen!!


then of course they want a snack and the only thing left that doesnt take dishes is popcorn.so theres more vacuuming...........

so uhhh dinner anyone? why cant the vegetable man deliver? Why cant the grilled cheese man deliver? What about some watermelon and cereal or soymilk? Why is it only pizza?

this is a totally true account of our days! the big kids vacuum and clear the table but it is still verrrrrrry busy and crazy! I have tried papper plates and charts and eating outside but the real soultion is to leave in the morning and stay gone!!!!!!!!!!!



I hope this brought a smile to you all and noone is gonna call CPS on me or anything!

there have been too many days where we had an amazing educational breakthrough, loving day and MIL stops in and al she sees is the "mess" and not the love

There have been too mnay days where the house is "clean" and i was SO mean and snippy the kids looked like their hearts would break.
post #49 of 65
Thread Starter 
Wow, Mama to 4, that sounds about right! Altho even harder than my day. Hmm . . . You may have just talked me out of having a third!!!
post #50 of 65
i just plain old stink at housekeeping. sometimes i get really into it, and my house is clean for a while, but i have never gotten into any kind of lasting routine. i guess i have gotten better in that there is hardly ever algae growing in the toilets anymore- so i can pat myself on the back for that .
i have projects to do for dds school that seem to take up a lot of time that i could spend cleaning, or art and cooking projects that dd and i do togeather instead of cleaning, etc. and even before little ds, dd was getting to that age when i would have had more time, and my house actually got MESSIER, because i used all that extra time and energy for riding horses. hmm, ride or clean? ride or clean? duh. i know the answer.

i guess there are poeple who can figure out how to do it all, that is- clean, care for kids, and care for themselves, but not me. when i actually do have a dull moment i could consider spending cleaning, i am so exhausted from all that playing, that i just cant bring myself to lift a finger. its fine. i admire folks who keep a clean house, and i like it when my house does get clean, but i really doubt that i will ever have a house that is 'presentable' on a regular basis.

also, how clean my house is really depends some on how busy dh is. when he is around to help by doing the dishes each day, that frees me up to do other stuff. but right now he's so busy, it takes up all the time i have avaliable to clean the kitchen every day.
post #51 of 65
Great post mamato4! Especially the bit about the kids being happier when you're not stressing about cleaning. My dilemma is, we live in a tiny flat and so to enjoy being home and doing stuff here with DS there has to be some kind of order, which seems impossible to reach. So then I get crabby with DS about the constant mess, and I feel so bad about that. Last night I asked DS, "How will we have a nice day tomorrow?" And he said, "By not making any mess so we won't fight".
post #52 of 65
I got really fed up a couple of months ago, and my husband and I developed a plan: every night before we go to bed, we clean the kitchen and pick up the toys in the main living area. Even though we often don't much want to do it, it does go pretty quickly with both of us working on it, and it's less annoying to do it with someone else than alone.

The rest of the house may be a disaster area, but at least the parts of the house we use the most are always clean at the beginning of the day.
post #53 of 65
Oh man, reading this thread made my day I was very neat, organized type A personality and then I had kids. Somehow none of them got the neat gene. You can imagine how nuts I get having 4 messy kids, with 3 of them being under the age of 3 . I've been doing flylady for the past 2 mos and I don't follow the entire plan, but I have found some pearls of wisdom also I finally broke down and hired a cleaning lady. I was rebelling against that, but I figured my sanity was worth the cost. She starts next thursday and will come twice a month for deep cleaning. I hope it makes a difference in our life. Wish me luck
post #54 of 65
Define disaster....

At the end of the day there are toys on the floor, dishes on the counter (the severity depends on the dishwasher state) and dog hair tumbleweeds floating down the hall.

Basically every day I try to vaccume (cordless bagless quick vaccume of the hardwood), clean the kitchen (load dishwasher, wash pots and counters...sometimes gets done), and set up dinner ( I my crockpot). Toys are usually in a state of mess, but we try to put things away at bedtime. All the toys are in the family room. DS keeps his room clean (NO idea why...he does this on his own).

But usually clean clothes are stacked on top of dressers, the dog hair can be seen in the sun, there is a nice layer of dust on things (you move it....you dust it), bathrooms are ....well.....used, and the laundry basket is half full and the washer has dirty diapers in it (I have no dry/wet pail...just toss in the washer and rinse every night). The floors need to be washed (but look fine...unless the sun is shining ) and windows are fingerprinty.

When we do crafts, I clean after (glitter, paper on the floor, glue on the table) as I don't want it tracked everywhere (especially my bed...no glitter in the bed)

it is not pristine. It is not a museum. it is not my MIL's house. It is the home lived in by 2 children and 2 parents who let them be children. Every once in a while I step on Lego and smile....'cause the kids are asleep. Kinda like they left me a sign of their existance in the dark.
post #55 of 65
messy house = toddlers=normal !!
post #56 of 65
Our house is a clean mess; it gets cleaned everyday, but by the time I move into a room, they're behind me pulling out toys, books, blocks, etc. (The quickest way to get toys off the floor is to pull out the vacuum and they both start scooping up their prized possessions...)

DH just chuckles when I tell him that this placec WAS neat a few hours ago.
post #57 of 65
No, my house is honestly spic and span every day. However, I HATE that because I HATE that I am so *OCD* about keeping it clean. I wish I could just let DS tear it up until he goes to bed, then pick up. However, I wait til he naps and then clean up : I HATE feeling this way
post #58 of 65
I feel like my house is a disaster morning, noon, & night. If I try to pick up during the day, dd - who is 23m - just goes behind me and pulls it all back out and then I get frustrated. That's no fun for either of us.

I'd just rather do things w/the kids than clean. That being said, I'm getting tired of the mess so I try to schedule at least one playdate a week at my house because it forces me to clean up. It also helps to have a mouthy puppy in the house. I can't leave laundry or toys out or he'll eat them.
post #59 of 65
Just chiming in-- my house is a mess too! I try to do a quick clean up by throwing every toy I find into a laundry basket and then putting it in their room. I don't bother putting the toys away beyond that except about once a week. They just get picked out of the basket and dragged all over the house again. At last it's a fast way to stay organized.

I *try* to make our bed every day, complete with throw pillows. It makes the room look tidy even if there is a 2 foot pile of stuff on the dresser. We have one large divided laundry basket that is in the laundry room, labeled by colors. I can pick up and toss those quickly and when one of the baskets is full it's time to wash that color. I start a load in the AM early, and by mid morning it's dry. I quickly pull it out and hang it while it's warm and not wrinkled. We have a shelf in the laundry room that can support the clothes. I fold undies and towels on top of the dryer, or save them until the kids go to bed and fold while watching TV. I don't always put the laundry away right away but at least the ones that might get wrinkled are hanging.

My almost 5yo has daily chores. Not much but it helps. She has to feed and water the dog and cat, brush the dog, water the house plants, put away the clean silverware, and put my 21 mo board books on their shelf at the end of the day. I can't WAIT until she can actually make dinner for us once a week!! That will be the day! Counting down the years!

My biggest problem area is the kitchen. The counters are so cluttered even when I declutter once a week or so, keep most appliances in the cabinet to free up space. Dh is supposed to put away dishes and the food, but he usually leaves the big pots for me to do in the morning. Nice, huh? When the food is all dried up.

Even with all those little systems in place, the house is trashed by the end of the day, and it doesn't get better in the morning. I wish we had some little elves that would come and clean while we are sleeping.
post #60 of 65
yup, it is clean at some point in the day, it just doesn't stay that way for long.
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