Dealing with meltdowns/need to leave

[fyoosh]

In reading another thread on here, it jogged my memory of a time I needed to leave a store (we had to be somewhere in a few minutes) with my son while he was having a huge meltdown. He was maybe 2 (he will be 3 on Halloween), and did not want to leave. After explaining that we had to go, I simply picked him up and walked (as calmly as I could) out of the store with him kicking and screaming his head off. Of course, everyone was staring.

The thread that reminded me of it was when someone mentioned they had seen so many people carry their children out of someplace one-armed, all the while swatting their bottoms with the other. I have seen this a ton of times too. I was most CERTAINLY not going to do *that*, but I wondered what other people thought of me carrying him out screaming and carrying on. I was completely silent, just walking with purpose toward the car... all the while wondering if people thought I was raising satan.

He doesn't have many meltdowns like that anymore, except when someone unknowingly gives him something with Red 40 in it (ugh that stuff should be banned in EVERYTHING. Why do we NEED things colored!?), but on the occasion that he does, what would be the best way to handle it when we have to leave somewhere?

[AndiG]

Our son was 'escorted' from the mall by his father just this past weekend. We pick them up and we carry them out. Talk quietly or not at all to your child as you do this. I tend to just walk straight out with my head held high.

Believe me, any parent I see leaving a venue with a screaming child I respect FAR more than the parent I see standing in the mall with a screaming or whining child, bribing them with crap to keep their mouths shut.

Meltdowns happen, red dye #40 or not. As long as you keep your cool I think just going straight out with your fussing (ok screaming) child is just fine. We've all been there.

[spero]

Originally Posted by AndiG

We pick them up and we carry them out. Talk quietly or not at all to your child as you do this.

I had to do this at the mall a few weeks ago, with my youngest. She was absolutely howling, and she knew just what to yell ("You're HURTING me!") to get attention. (I wasn't hurting her - but she was beating the living sh** out of me and I was trying to restrain her and carry her at the same time.) You just have to be as quick and efficient as possible, ignore the stares, and hope everybody realizes that you're not trying to abduct some strange kid. :LOL

It helps to know where the nearest available exit is, at all times.

[addiesmom]

Originally Posted by skellbelle

You just have to be as quick and efficient as possible, ignore the stares, and hope everybody realizes that you're not trying to abduct some strange kid. :LOL

:LOL

I was watching Dr. Phil a while ago when he talked about just this thing. He had one mom on who said that while she escorts her 4 yr old son out of places, he would yell at the top of his lungs "THIS ISN'T MY MOMMY - HELP ME!"

I've had to do the same thing on many occasions - I think that's all you can do at that point. I've actually had a librarian thank me for leaving a playtime/storytime instead of negotiating a truce while others were trying to enjoy their time. Don't worry about the looks - most parents understand your situation.

[Dandelion Grrl]

Of course, everyone was staring.

Of course! OT but I would just LOVE to get a reasurring pat on the arm from someone as im carrying my screaming child from the store instead.

I think the only thing to do is quietly remove the child from the store...I mean quietly on your part

[Ione]

I remember seeing a mom do that once, when my DD was about 9 months old... The mom stayed so calm and loving and matter of fact about and non-punnishing about it. I couldn't stop staring at them as they left. I'd never actually *seen* someone just remove a tantruming child without throwing an "adult tantrum" at the same time. I was in awe. Seeing that, more than anything else I'd read here or elsewhere, really cemented my committment to GD. Maybe others are having the same reaction I did...

[UmmBnB]

BTDT :LOL Of course the last time it happened we were at the mall and it was absolutely pouring down rain so there was no way I was walking outside...although that may have been quite effective now that I think about it.

I just left the store (leaving grandma to pay for the clothes ) and sat down holding him in a bear hug until he finally calmed. I really didn't pay attention to the looks on other's faces, and of course there were looks :LOL

And Amy, I'm in Denver too. We have an every-other-week come if you can pay group. Check out the Tribal Areas!

[4evermom]

Last time I removed my getting-out-of-control child from a store, I felt that all the stares were understanding.

[RedWine]

Dd1 one leaves places screaming at least once every other week...she's just that way, has been since she turned 18 months (she's almost 3 now). I've tried transition methods, I've tried explaining why we have to leave, I've tried about everything GD I can think of. But it boils down to this -- she doesn't want to go, and we have to go. So she gets carried. Or strapped in a stroller (since I have a 7 month old baby as well). She screams VERY loudly. I get stares. I don't give a damn. Carrying out a screaming child (calmly, lovingly) is sometimes your only option. Don't worry about it.

[HippoMommy]

I've gotten many wry looks of sympathy when I'm escorting a tantrumming wee one out of some venue or another. On the other hand, the dirty looks I've gotten have been when I've been slow to remove a screaming Mimi, or when I've been trying to "negotiate" quiet. . . . .

[marybethorama]

My 4 yo likes to yell "PUT ME DOWN!!" when I'm carrying him out. Makes me look like a kidnapper.

Thank goodness I don't have to do this too often anymore.