Personality seems to have a lot to do with kids behaviour. My two month old sleeps six or seven hours at night. My three year old wakes every three hours. My seven year old can live on 5 or 6 hours of sleep and manage to go to school and do all the normal seven year old things. My dh and I have heard it all. But all these methods are about meeting the expectations of society or meeting the needs of the adults. We want our needs met, but not at the expense of our children.
Its okay to set limits with your kids. As in, yes stay in our room, but no jumping on the mama. Here are some quiet games, or puzzles to do. Have some water or snacks handy for older kids, and breastmilk for toddlers. Mama and dada can spell each other off as well.
Having observed kids who were ferberized we decided two things: it didn't work (these kids were not sleeping well), and the kids were crankier during the day as well as at night. I have three superhealthy kids (not so much as a sniffle), thriving, creative and happy. Our marriage is good. We're tired: sometimes exhausted, sometimes cranky, and sometimes lonely, but we have each other. And I wouldn't trade my 3 dss for anything! Good Luck and consider the source of any advice: what is this persons philosophy or what do they gain by trashing your methods? You'd think some of the naysayers were actually getting paid to trash you sometimes they do it with such relish!