DH let 4yo DD watch Mean Girls! How to address with DD??

[StillForest]

I just discovered that DH has let DD, who just turned 4, watch Mean Girls a couple of times while I was at work. DD has suddenly decided that she wants to be a mean girl. DD watches no commercial TV and has usually watched only carefully selected movies. DH knows that I feel strongly about this...but persists in occasionally letting DD watch movies that are not age/content appropriate. I'd rather be totally media free....this has been an ongoing issue between DH and me.

Any ideas on how to best address this with DD? I want to make the movie disappear but know that she will remember it and that this could reinforce the negative messages of the movie. We've been talking about treating others with kindness and respect and how she feels when other girls are nean to her etc etc... but she still keeps coming back to wanting to be a "mean girl." I'm wondering if I'm exacerbating the issue by drawing attention to it. But I think its crucial because I'm seeing this affect how she interacts with other children. She's been experimenting with cliquish behavior and "Mean Girls" seems to have given her new vocabulary/strategies for being mean.

[white_feather]

Yikes! Yup, this movie is definately NOT for the under 10 crowd. But now she's seen it, and you're right to address it. First of all, have you seen the movie? I'd recommend that you do. The major message of the movie is that gossip hurts people, and it shows that the 'law of the jungle' of high school life can be painful. Of course, that moral lesson probably goes right over the head of a 4 y/o.

So first, watch the movie so you can talk about it with her. Then, probably what I'd do is engage her in a very basic discussion about feelings -- how would she feel if someone called her a name? How does she think her friend would feel if dd called friend a name? But really in a basic, light way. She's only 4.

I've been wanting to read the book Queen Bees and Wannabees . . . which, I believe, addresses this mean-impulse that girls seem to have. I believe the movie was inspired by the book. It might be worth checking it out to get some more ideas.

[whateverdidiwants]

Have you seen the movie? I'm NOT saying that it's in any way appropriate for a 4 year old, but since she's seen it, can you talk to her about how at the end of the movie Cady realizes that being mean doesn't work and that it's better to be yourself?

[StillForest]

Thanks so much for your replies. You're helping me put this in perspective. I'm now considering watching the movie together sometime soon. I've seen parts of it while her 14 yo sister was watching it but haven't seen the whole thing. Maybe a family movie/discussion night watching "Mean Girls" is in order....and more *Mean Mama* discussions with DH!