Walking to school alone

[ChristaN]

I am just curious at what age you all would feel comfortable allowing your child to walk to school alone. My dds are not pushing for it yet, but I notice that a few of the girls in my older dd's second grade class walk to and from school by themselves (not in groups; alone). I am just trying to get a feel for what is 'reasonable' for if/when they do start to ask.

We live about 7-8 blocks from the school and it is all residential streets that they walk through. It is a fairly "safe" neighborhood, but I admit that my dh and I tend to lean toward cautious with our kids. I try hard not to inhibit them with caution b/c my older dd is already cautious by nature and I don't want to make her afraid of the world. We are from the Oakland (CA) area originally, though, so dh and I are more used to the need to lock things up, etc. We also have some personal experiences from our youth of family members dying very young that has made us a little more nervous about losing our girls.

My kids are currently just 7 and just 5.

[AngelBee]

Maybe, maybe 10ish or so in a group. Maybe.

I am a parnoid freak about this kind of stuff.

[ChristaN]

Originally Posted by AngelBee

I am a parnoid freak about this kind of stuff.

:LOL Glad it's not just me. I nearly keeled over when I saw the 7 y/o down the street who walks to and from school totally alone every day. Then I thought that maybe I am just being overly protective, which I tend toward anyway.

[MomBirthmomStepmom]

Dss will start walking to and from school next year... We live in a VERY safe area, but like you I grew up in a very UNsafe area, and feel paranoid about these things.

Next year dss will be 10, and we will be moving closer to a school. (right now it's simply too far for him to be walking)

[guest^]

I live just around the corner from dd's school. IOW, the houses I see out my front windows back up to the school.

Given that,at first I walked her to and from. Now she is walking byherself. She'll be 9yo in 3 weeks.

I see really little kids walking to and from, and it freaks me out too.

It's a whole different world now(duh!) but when I was in K, I walked to and from school with a friend half the way. We had to cross a very busy street, andit was probably at least 6 blocks to my house.

mp

[kewb]

My instinct says Never!
Reality-I don't know. Right now I work full time so I drop him off at before care on my way so it is a non-issue.

[philomom]

My son is 9 and a half. Walks to school. There's a crossing guard to get him across the one "big" street.

I live in a huge car community. I get a lot of flack for letting him walk. But I do a lot of street smart role play with my kids and there's lots of good neighbors. I don't see the problem.

[Alkenny]

DD was 10 when she started middle school, that's when I let her start walking with her brother (age 8 at the time) in a large group of neighborhood kids. We live in a VERY small town (population 4,000) and only live 2 blocks from one school and 4 from the other.

Call me VERY overprotective.

[AuntNi]

My real, true, gut feeling: 20! We live incredibly close to all the schools my DD will attend, but I can't imagine an age where I'd feel comfortable letting her walk alone. But I'm a total paranoid freak - I wouldn't even let her 13-year-old babysitter take her for stroller rides when she was an infant, because I was scared they'd BOTH get kidnapped.

[mattjule]

I have seen/read one to many of the "never came home from school" stories to let my kids walk to school alone before middle school. It may embarrass them but I don't care, eventually they will accept that it is just the way things are. If they had a few friends they were always walking with that would be different, but not alone, not ever.

[johub]

Gosh it depends on so many things!
My dd was the ONLY child who walked to school when in Kindergarden. My best friend and her babysitter lived across the street from the school. ON the corner even where the crossing guard crossed the kids, and she was home with a newborn infant. I saw no reason to make her traipse off to my dd's classroom twice a day when she lived right across the street. I was really shocked it was so unpopular for children to walk to school on their own. I walked to school, even past 2 stoplights when I was in kindergarden, with my friends but no grownups when I was 4.
WHile that would freak me out. I saw no problem with my 5 year old walking to school.
A different neighborhood, child or distance and my answer would probably have been different.
I now live very close to our neighborhood elementary school and while I look forward to walking ds to school (I was a wohm, I now am a sahm so have different freedoms than before) I would think him perfectly capable of doing it himself at 5 or 6.
I think it is sad that so few parents let their kids walk to school. It would be much safer if they all did like when I was little. Fewer cars in and out of the school and all the kids would have buddies to walk with. Not to mention that it is great exercise.
I think this is one of the changes in parenting practices that I dont really favor.
Joline

[CarrieMF]

My oldest started walking to and from school by herself when she turned 5. The school is across the street, 3 houses down and then another house down that street away. Next year when my next dd goes to school I'll walk her for a bit until she is comfortable but she's been back and forth so much in the last 3 school years it won't be long until she is going with her sister.

[oldcrunchymom]

This is a subject that really gets my goat. My kids don't go to school, but I let my 9yo walk from downtown to our house (about 1/4 of a mile and across one trafficked street) and vice versa. My kids are also allowed to go to the store by themselves together.

Here EVERYONE takes the bus to school, which I think is ridiculous. This is a small town of 1500 that has not seen a murder or kidnaping or even a mugging in decades (maybe not ever). Most people live in town and the school is only 1 mile away from the center of town (which means that the vast majority of people live 1 mile or less from school). The buses' last pickup stop is only 100 yards (!) from the school. There is a cool country store next door to the school so my kids and I have walked there (2 miles round trip) many times. It's a scenic, very safe (only one small street to cross) walk and I think it's a shame the kids don't walk to school here.

There is an (now closed) elementary school literally next door to us and the bus would stop not 30 feet from our house to "bring" kids to school. It was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. And we wonder why childhood obesity is increasing... maybe it's because kids never have to walk anywhere anymore. We aren't doing our kids any favors by throwing them in the car to drive 50 yards down the street to the convenience store, and making them think there are kidnapers on every corner. If you live in a truly unsafe area, I can understand it, but most places aren't any less safe than they were 20 or 30 years ago when we were kids. It's just perceptions that have changed. I agree with Joline that this is one "new" parenting practice that I am not down with.

[ChristaN]

I'm certainly not opposed to walking to school, just unsure I'd let them do it alone. We do walk to and from school together (me with the kids) when time and weather allow it. My kids are not overweight couch potatoes.

While we do not have regular kidnappings in our neighborhood (thank goodness!), there have been a few notices sent home by the police school resource officers about kids being approached/attempts at kids being lured into cars by strangers. I'd say my town is pretty average in terms of safety. I feel comfortable with my kids playing out front without me there if I am in the front room and can see them, but I am still nervous about them walking alone to school.

We did have a girl kidnapped, raped and murdered by a man impersonating a police officer 2 years or so ago. There is also a guy down the street who is a registered sex offender. All in all, I don't know if things are less safe than when I was a kid or if we just hear about it more when something happens.

I am trying to walk that fine line btwn not letting my kids live b/c I am afraid of them dying and giving them so much freedom that I am not protecting them. I'm doing my best and truly trying not to judge those who let their kids loose a bit sooner, but it is hard. I do worry about losing my little girls b/c I don't know if I could stand it if something happened to them. I went through the closest thing to that years ago when my twin died and I never want to be there again -- I was barely alive myself for years thereafter.

I'm sorry if I offended those of you who do let your kids walk places alone. I did not intend that. I'm just trying to get a feel for whether I am being unreasonable or unusual in not letting them walk alone for some time yet.

[oldcrunchymom]

Christa, you didn't offend me. This is just one of my hot button issues, can you tell? I think 7 is probably old enough if the school is close, but not 5 (although I was walking by myself at 5 without incident). I guess it would also depend on your dd and how she felt about it.

[ChristaN]

Yeah, my dh, too, was walking to school alone at 5 (on major streets in downtown SF none the less). Yet, he's the one who was always checking to make sure that dds were buckled into their strollers as babies b/c he was afraid that someone would run by & snatch them. I recall him saying that there was "a market" for cute babies like them . Apparently his parents' lack of caution did not rub off on him.

[LovemyBoo]

Probably at 8 or 9. We live in a very safe area and less than a mile from the school. He doesn't even have to cross any streets to get there. Sidewalks the whole way.

He's asked me about it and I've told him I won't even consider it until he has proven he can leave school in a timely manner with his jacket, backpack, homework, and lunchbox all intact. As of now we spend 15 minutes at the school gathering up and finding all his stuff before leaving. Were I not there with him I swear he would leave his jacket, homework, and lunchbox behind 4 out of 5 school days a week.

[CarrieMF]

Here EVERYONE takes the bus to school, which I think is ridiculous. This is a small town of 1500 that has not seen a murder or kidnaping or even a mugging in decades (maybe not ever).

that's weird. I grew up in a town of 1500 people, the only kids who took a bus were those out of town. If you lived in town you were to be expected at the school no matter what the weather(town kids didn't have the luxury of not going to school because a bus wasn't running, or getting out early because a storm was coming and the bus was picking kids up early). In Kindergarten the kids would be walked to school until they knew the route which was usually a couple of weeks. There was 1 incident when I was in elementary school about a flasher, no idea who it was. There was an 86yo woman raped in a village 15minutes away when I was in Grade 11, they never caught that guy. There is an odd incident now and then, but there is rarely any concern just gossip.

Not offended at all. If we lived on the other side of the highway there is no way my dd would be walking herself to school. I trust her, it's the vehicles not stopping at the pedestrian lights that I don't.

I now live in a town of 25,000 and growing at a very fast rate with a very transient population. There is crime all the time, rare is a day you don't hear sirens. In the summer it's rare to not hear them 3-4 times a day. It's a definite change from the town where you hear the sirens 3-4 times a year and it's usually because some farmer was burning a field and it got out of control.

I really think that where you grew up directly affects how you view a situation like this. When you grow up in an area that has very little to no crime it seems easier to not be as paranoid about the what if's. It doesn't mean we're naive or think it won't happen because it's a small town. We know it can happen but are more nonchalant about living a life of what if's.

Of course anyone who has had a tradgey in their family/circle will be more aware and cautious.

[CarrieMF]

He's asked me about it and I've told him I won't even consider it until he has proven he can leave school in a timely manner with his jacket, backpack, homework, and lunchbox all intact. As of now we spend 15 minutes at the school gathering up and finding all his stuff before leaving. Were I not there with him I swear he would leave his jacket, homework, and lunchbox behind 4 out of 5 school days a week.

With my dd we did it in baby steps. I started with "forgetting" how to get to school so she'd show me the way. Then stopping at the gate of the school and letting her walk the rest of the way(which is about as far as our house is from the gate,lol). Then we moved to me stopping at the sidewalk at our side of the street so I could see how she did crossing the street(making sure she was stopping & checking for traffic instead of just running). Then I watched her from my house. That took about 3 or 4 weeks and we moved onto her coming home from school with me "forgetting" how to get home, then me waiting at the gate and then at the window. It took 2 weeks. In the morning she got to school at 8:30, school starts at 8:55 and at 9 they call if there is a kid not in school and with no note. After school they're let out at 3:30 and she gets home at 3:40. We have a very strict rule that she's to come straight home, though I know she does swing for a few minutes first. She still gets home at 3:40.

The first year I surprised her at the school a few times to pick her up and she got mad at me for doing that. She didn't want to be picked up. The 2nd year she still didn't want me picking her up. In the morning & after school she walked home with a neighbor(right next door) who was now in her grade. This year she likes it when I surprise her which is alot due to scheduling. I am getting her a key of her own so that if I"m caught by a train and she gets home first she can get in the house. I try to not schedule appointments that close to when she gets home but sometimes it's unavoidable and the trains are horrible here for stopping traffic.

[marybethorama]

Some kids in our town do walk to school. Most live too far away though. I wouldn't let my kids walk alone because they have to cross too many busy steets. It really isn't safe for anyone to walk much less a child alone. If they lived closer to their school though and could cross safely I'd consider it though.