Quote:
|
Originally Posted by luvmyfamily
"Babies don't automatically know how to sleep through the night; they need to be taught"...
|
I don't believe in sleep training in the
Ferber sense.....but I do think that babies need to be taught how to self sooth and fall to sleep on thier own.
We co -slept with DD#1 (part in our bed, part in a co-sleeper next to me), but as soon as she slept longer stretches at night (like 4-5 hours) we moved her to her crib in her room. Up until that point I always let her fall asleep on her own nursing, rocking, what have you, and then put her in her co-sleeper next to me. If she woke, I always comforted her, sometimes letting her fall asleep with me in bed. After a while though I always put her back in the co-sleeper. I did this because I wanted her used to it, but close to me so I could quickly respond to her needs. Once she got used to knowing mom would always be there if she needed me, she started sleeping longer and sounder, until she really did't need me any more. She would stir in the night, open her eyes, maybe even whine a little, but go right back to sleep on her own. In fact, she woke way less in her room than when she was next to me. Probably because I mistook her brief awakenings and stirring as cues that she wanted to nurse.
I will be doing pretty much the same thing with her baby sister.
I have a friend who never helped her son learn to fall asleep on his own. They had this big elaborate routine wich involved a last feeding, dancing in the dark for up to 30 mins, rocking and then when they thought he was really *out* try to lay him in his bed. If he woke they would start all over.
He is now almost 3 and they are still pretty much doing this. Its ridiculous. And he still wakes up at least twice a night, and can't go back to sleep without one of them patting him and singing or dancing him or something.
My DD sleeps 12 hours straight (since 15 mos old) and never cries for me unless she's sick or has a bad dream.
Babies and small children all wake up briefly at night, and it's the parenting that they recieve that teaches them what to do. If they always nurse to sleep, then they will still expect that. If it's rocking or just being in your arms or whatever. It's up to you to find a gentle balance that you feel comfrotable with, and every child id different, just as every family dynamic is different.
I never sleep well when a baby is next to me because I am a really heavy sleeper otherwise, and can't sleep heavily with the baby out of rear of rolling on her or something. I really do belive that part of a parents job is to teach your baby how to basically "survive" on thier own, just as almost all other animals on earth do. Good parenting is finding the right way to do it in a way and at a time when your baby is ready. That's what I think Dr. Sears means by this statement.
So I shouldn't even think more about it. But I just don't want other new, tired moms to read that and buy into the sleep training thing. I think you're probably right though - just take what you can use and leave the rest.
Love this! 
