Next time someone asks about socialization...

[applejuice]

...someone in my homeschooling group shared this with the e-mail group.


...FROM A FRIEND OF MINE....


Homeschooling Family Find Ways to Adapt to a PS "Socialization"
Program:

"When my wife and I mention we are strongly considering home-
schooling our children, we are without fail asked, "But what about
socialization?" Fortunately, we found a way our kids can receive the same
socialization that government schools provide.

On Mondays and Wednesdays, I will personally corner my son in the
bathroom, give him a wedgie and take his lunch money.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my wife will make sure to tease our children for not being in the "in" crowd, taking special care to poke fun of any physical abnormalities.

Fridays will be "Fad and Peer Pressure Day." We will all compete to see who has the coolest toys, most expensive clothes and the loudest,
fastest and most dangerous car.

Every day, my wife and I will adhere to a routine of cursing and swearing in the hall and mentioning our weekend exploits with alcohol and immorality. If our kids attempt to use the bathroom without permission, we
will punish them immediately.

And we have asked them to report us to the authorities in the event we mention faith, religion or try to bring up morals and values."

:

Unfortunately, too true.

[jessica_bystander]

That is so true!

When I eventually have kids, I want to home school them. As for socialising with kids of other ages, I want to put the girls in ballet, the boys in tap dancing, and both genders in piano lessons and take them to museums once a month.

On another note, I've been public schooled my whole life, and I have bad socialisation skills with people my age. In fact, all of the homeschooled people I've ever known were more easy to get along with. Maybe this is because they aren't afraid to speak their mind because they've been tought by open-minded people who will listen to their opinions, not indoctrinated to only express an opinion unless everyone else agrees with it.

[SunRayeMomi]

I so will steal that comeback if I need it!

[momof3sweeties]

Apple juice-
That was great!
When people ask me if I am worried about socialization I tell them, "Yea that is exactly why I homeschool! Aren't YOU concerned with how your kids are getting socialized in school?"

[MyLittleWonders]

Oh that is fantastic!!! I think I'll send it to my mom (she's actually very supportive of our decision to homeschool but every now and then the "s" word creeps into the conversation). Too fun!

[applejuice]

If you ever run into a principal or teacher, how about this from my homeschooling discussion group:


"Teacher: So aren't you concerned about socialization?

Me (with a casual yawn): No, not really. But, gosh, it must be so hard
to keep 35 kids from killing each other all day -- how do you teachers
do it?


Teacher: But what about standards? Do you teach to [insert your state or province] standards?

Me: Hmmmm.... Why would I want to teach to [insert your state or province]standards?
Doesn't California [or, if you wish, insert your state or province]consistently rank at the bottom of the nation? Why
would I want to intentionally aim for mediocrity? Why not use Singapore
standards, or Japanese standards, for that matter? I mean, I know that
you are probably a great teacher, and you probably do the best you can
under the circumstances, but gosh, it must be hard with the ivory tower
bureaucrats in Sacramento telling you what to do...


Teacher: Uhhh...yeah....

Me: And it must be so hard to manage all those different kids with
different learning styles, and so little one-on-one time with each
student, too. I'll bet it just breaks your heart that 3 - 5 kids out of
every class are just slipping through the cracks right in front of your
eyes.


Teacher: Yeah...

Me: And I'll bet if you could spend several hours a day of one-on-one
time with them, customizing their curriculum to their individual
learning style, taking them on lots of fun field trips and exciting
learning experiences, and providing on-the-spot personal counseling for
their peer problems, you could totally pull them out of the slump and
turn around their whole education, maybe even their life, couldn't you?


Teacher: Yeah...

Me: Yeah, me too. That's why I homeschool."



A good offense is the best defense.

[simple living mama]

I get sick of the question as well. The weird thing about the whole socialization deal is that kids who are homeschooled do much better in all social situations because they are constantly exposed to all different kinds of people.

Schooled kids are exposed to only their aged peers. When in society does that happen out side of school? I can't think of any. I think the whole socialization argument is rubbish. People get this crackpot idea that homeschooling children are caged in their homes all day with nothing but their moms and siblings while in reality, they are out and about doing real things with all types of people.

[mykdsmomy]

My SIL recently brought up the whole "socialization" aspect of our decision and I brought up some of the ..."I dont want my kids to be bullied or always trying to "fit in" in the in crowd or get made fun of ....etc....and HER answer to that was....."Well, that's life....dont you want that to happen now so they can get used to it....instead of sheltering them...I mean, life is full of people who are mean or say mean things.....you cant shelter them forever" How could I have responsed to that?? I mean, in a twisted sort of way, it makes sense....
Just because you're an adult doesnt mean you arent going to poke fun of someone or be a show off or a bully, kwim? I just wish I had a good response for her...... :

[Wolfmeis]

Originally Posted by mykdsmomy

"Well, that's life....dont you want that to happen now so they can get used to it....instead of sheltering them...I mean, life is full of people who are mean or say mean things.....you cant shelter them forever" How could I have responsed to that?? I mean, in a twisted sort of way, it makes sense....
Just because you're an adult doesnt mean you arent going to poke fun of someone or be a show off or a bully, kwim? I just wish I had a good response for her...... :

Absolutely I agree with your sister's comment that life is full of mean people. Exactly. It is.

Which is why my home is a shelter from that storm. It is why my children will have a long stretch of time where they find themselves surrounded by people who love, support and nurture them. Where they have an expectation of trust and compassion. Once released from this nursery, they will be in that big bad world and there is no going back.

They will be learning their foundation lessons here, without contempt and the distractions of people abusing or neglecting them. Where they will learn to respect themselves and each other (siblings) and where they won't have to ask to use the toilet, or whether this snack has peanuts in it.

[USAmma]

Originally Posted by mykdsmomy

My SIL recently brought up the whole "socialization" aspect of our decision and I brought up some of the ..."I dont want my kids to be bullied or always trying to "fit in" in the in crowd or get made fun of ....etc....and HER answer to that was....."Well, that's life....dont you want that to happen now so they can get used to it....instead of sheltering them...I mean, life is full of people who are mean or say mean things.....you cant shelter them forever" How could I have responsed to that?? I mean, in a twisted sort of way, it makes sense....
Just because you're an adult doesnt mean you arent going to poke fun of someone or be a show off or a bully, kwim? I just wish I had a good response for her...... :

In the real world, like in the workplace, you don't find that everyone in your department is the same age. You won't have your clothes made fun of. You won't be called names. Your performance will be judged on the work you accomplished. Even in college, your peers will be of all different ages and backgrounds. Being put in the same class with other people the same exact age is not a natural situation. It is not real life. Instead of being allowed to choose their friends and role models based on common interests, they are forced to befriend people who often only have the same age in common. Some of my best friends in college and in the workplace were people who were much older than me.

This website has some studies that show homeschooled children are on average *more* socialized and happier than outside schooled children.

http://www.nldontheweb.org/aiex.htm

[BumbleBena]

I think I would respond that it's that attitude that makes bullying seem acceptable. It is NOT acceptable for a small child to live in fear, and "getting used to" being pushed around should never be an option. I think I would also point out that not everyone just quietly accepts being bullied. Think of Columbine.

Applejuice, thank you so much for posting this.

[mykdsmomy]

Great answers... thanks mamas.....I wish you could all be there for answers when I get put in these positions with family members/acquaintances. I dont seem to be able to defend my decisions with as much articulation as you all have here....
I was made fun of VERY BADLY in a Catholic school growing up. For eight years, I was told I was ugly, hairy, stupid, etc...then there was the verbal/emotional/physical abuse at home.....so homeschooling wouldnt have helped me much but if my mother was a loving mother, I would have surely benefited from being at home as opposed to being scarred for life and I mean that in a very serious sense. I have massive self esteem issues from those childhood years....I want it to be different for my children!! Thanks mamas

[warriorprincess]

Sadly, too true.

[Bethanydear]

Printing that out!

[tinaq]

We have just made the decision to hs, so we haven't been exposed (yet) to the onslaught of questions & criticism that may come w. making such a decision. Although we have had a bunch of comments thrown at us for not taking the conventional road w. parenting & hopefully that will prepare us. The OP was a good look at WHAT exactly our kids will be missing, which IMO is not much. I went through (in HS) that awful psychological warfare that goes on & it's all the more reason I would give for ds not to go to conventional school. for the OP!

Tina

[applejuice]

Originally Posted by BumbleBena

I think I would respond that it's that attitude that makes bullying seem acceptable. It is NOT acceptable for a small child to live in fear, and "getting used to" being pushed around should never be an option. I think I would also point out that not everyone just quietly accepts being bullied. Think of Columbine.

Applejuice, thank you so much for posting this.

Hello, BumbleBena!

BTW, teachers have been subjected to several "anti-bullying" workshops and programs over the last few years since Columbine.

So sad!

[FreeSpiritMama]

Applejuice, that was great thanks for sharing Only sad its so true

Originally Posted by momof3sweeties

When people ask me if I am worried about socialization I tell them, "Yea that is exactly why I homeschool! Aren't YOU concerned with how your kids are getting socialized in school?"

I like it

[quakerlady]

Originally Posted by mykdsmomy

My SIL recently brought up the whole "socialization" aspect of our decision and I brought up some of the ..."I dont want my kids to be bullied or always trying to "fit in" in the in crowd or get made fun of ....etc....and HER answer to that was....."Well, that's life....dont you want that to happen now so they can get used to it....instead of sheltering them...I mean, life is full of people who are mean or say mean things.....you cant shelter them forever" How could I have responsed to that?? I mean, in a twisted sort of way, it makes sense..:

Okay, how about this:
This was my mom's whole reason behind almost every decision she made about my education. She never wanted me to be in a school that really met my needs because she wanted me to learn to "cope withthe real world and deal with normal people. Just the other day she noted that my 2 year old is talking a little "too well" and that she guessed that I might have to deal with the same "IQ problem" that made life as my mother SO difficult. I never really learned much academic info in school, just demonstrated what I already knew from voracious reading. I LEARNED the following:
1) It is not okay to be excited about learning. (mostly I learned this from my fellow students, ESPECIALLY my good friends, who on a few occasions cornered me in the hallway to remind me that class was not supposed to be a private conversation bewteen me and the teacher, would I PLEASE shut up and stop answering every question? but I also learned this from teachers).

2)It is not okay to pursue your own interests or do things in your own way.
The only things that get positive feedback are the ones that meet the letter of the assignment. Everything else is useless crap.

So then I find myself in college, conditioned to deny my own interests and excitement and supress original thought.

Which "real world" did school prepare me for? The one of small thoughts, small achievements, limited horizons.

I am still trying to "unschool" myself.

[Pariah]

applejuice, that is hilarious! I forwarded it to my mom and the in-laws, my husband loved it, too. We were both homeschooled (him just for a year, myself for the last two years of high school...and they're right, high school IS the best time of your life -- when you're homeschooled!) and are 10000% into homeschooling our baby arriving in February.

[applejuice]

Pariah s up!

Happy Baby and easy labor vibes your way!