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Delivering today and very scared....

post #1 of 59
Thread Starter 
Well, it looks like today is going to be the day. 35 weeks, 5 days. 6p.m. CST is the only slot they have open for c-section.

My DH is on his way, because I really don't want to be alone right now. I called him about an hour ago, when the nurse came in and scared me a bit.... I guess my urine came back higher than 5 because the nurse immediately came in and wouldn't let me eat or drink anything until she spoke with the doctor.

That's when my crab button started. I got really snappy and said that before any decisions were made (I just had the feeling that plans would be made without me. May not have been that way, but I just wanted to be sure) but I wanted to have an understanding of what was going on.


Well, the doc just left and I'm sitting here in tears. I felt (and feel) like such a big baby. Nothing like sitting here crying in front of your doctor. Take it from me, don't make the day of delivery the day you go over your birth plan. I feel not only overwhelmed because of the suddeness (suddeness to me at least ) of the c-section and impending birth of my kids, but at the whole process.

Just found out that my babies will be for sure sent to Level 2 NICU - no matter what. Then, I got knocked for trying to suggest that I would be able to successfully breastfeed my babies exclusively - esp while they are in NICU. My doctor asked me if I know of anyone that successfully breastfed twins from the start. My doc is one of those that is very good at what she does, but she can be rather abrupt. She's very too the point and German. My DH loves that about her, I have found it to be intimidating

I'm barely going to get to touch my babies before they are taken away from me for a minimum of 12 hours. That's how long its going to be before I can go be with them. I can't even imagine that.

This whole process is so much harder and emotional than I thought it was going to be. I so envisioned something completely different. I know I should be so thrilled the babies are coming, and I am, but I'm really scared.

The NICU docs are coming later today to talk to me about the whole process, the anesthesiologist is coming later too.

Ok well, my Dh just got here and the docs, anesthesia people, and all are already starting to come in, so let me go. I may check one more time if I get a chance.

I guess I'm sitting here looking for success stories for preemies and twins and breastfeeding. I can't believe I'm hitting so much resistance. I had a strong resolve, but with all the resistance, my confidence is starting to shake.

Christy Scheeler
35 wks 5 days
post #2 of 59
Well I don't know if you will be able to read this before you go, but my heart is hurting for you!! I know you are going to be thrilled to see your little ones, but I totally understand that this isn't the way you had imagined things. Would it be possible for you to contact LLL in your area and ask a leader to come and advocate for you during the first day, or even the first few hours? I personally don't have experience with twins or premies but it seems like it *should* be possible.

I know it's easier said than done but TRY not to let them intimidate you!!! You know what is best for your babies.

Sending lots of healthy delivery vibes your way!!!
post #3 of 59
Christy, I am sorry you are so scared.

I wish things were different.

I dont know what to say to ease your fears and concerns.

But we are here with you....



post #4 of 59
Christy -- you will do fine! I can't remember off-hand where but I have read TONS of successfull breastfeeding stories in weird situations -- wasn't there even one (maybe Mothering) where a women with only one breast breastfed twins? I am no expert on it, having never done it myself, neither was I myself breasfed, but I am sure you can make it work out. Even if your babies do get some formula along the way you will be able to make it work out the way you want. And your babies will be fine. Neither I nor my sister was breastfed and we turned out fine! So, a little formula for them then conversion to breastfeeding can't be too bad -- you will need to recover from your surgery, too. If they do have to be away from you take the time to rest and relax as much as possible. Then when you do get to be with them you will have the strength to work through the feeding. It might be worth finding the best, most experienced lactation consultant when you go home to come help you from the start. I am sorry you are going through this kind of stress -- my thoughts are with you today! Julia
post #5 of 59
mama

if you don't have a pump rent a hostpital one. start taking fenugreek and blessed thistle also. that helped me when my son was in the NICU. i also used dom, but you should research and decide something like that for yourself.

i am in pearland, pretty close near you. i will be thinking of you
post #6 of 59
My SIL exclusively nursed her twin boys! She nursed them for two years. I'm sure she would be happy to talk to you about her experience. Just send me a PM and I'll set something up (she had a c-section too). I also belong to another board where there is a mama of twins who is still nursing them, and they just turned a year old. I don't know if she has ever had to supplement with formula or not. Again, PM me, and I'll send you a link to this site.

I hope your surgery goes well, and your babies are healthy.

Have you thought about hiring a lactation consultant not affiliated with the hospital? Someone who will work just for you, and not serve the interests of the hospital?



Bec
post #7 of 59
My friend delivered twins at 35 weeks and she breastfed for the first three months. She had issues with her milk supply so got milk from the breastmilk bank. But, she totally did it in the beginning!!! You can do it! Whatever works out with their birth and breastfeeding will be okay though. YOu are so thoughtful that those babes will be loved and cared for and nutured through birth in the best way that you and DH are capable of with the limitations of the hospital, you know? And, soon you will be loving them at home successfully breastfeeding your life away!

Thinking of you today!
post #8 of 59
oh momma! im so sorry you are scared. i would be too in your shoes, and i wish there was something we could do.. its NOT right that they are taking your babies away from you and not letting you see them though. the last thing those babies need is to be torn from the only thing they know and taken far away. fight like a momma bear to be with them.. i know it will be hard because you will have just had surgery, but make sure your husband also advocates for you. i wish I could be there.. soon this scary part will be over though and you will have your beautiful little girl and boy in your arms..and do not doubt your body. ive heard of MANY mommas who successfully breastfed their twin babies.. if your milk isnt enuff there are ways of increasing it, like some others before have said. also pump! and demand that they give your babies your milk/colostrum, they NEED it!i had problems with my milk supply with elwynn at first and i took domperidone ( a drug but its 100% safe) and it really helped and there are herbs and stuff as well.. and even if you DO have to supplement, there is organic baby formula that you can get in the USA ( it says toddler formula, but i checked it out and its okay for babies too) be strong and confident in yourself. and we are here to support you in any way that we can
post #9 of 59
Christy: Hugs and mama love to you. Stay strong, your babies will need you! Don't know when you'll get a chance to read this but a friend of mine delivered twins (at 36 weeks) in August and they are continuing to thrive exclusively on mama's milk...it CAN be done! I agree with another PP about getting in touch with someone from LLL!

Sending warm and fuzzy mama vibes...
post #10 of 59
Honey, I am so sorry you are going through this. A lot of the things I thought to say both as advice and reassurance have already been said, so I'll just add that you will breast feed your babies and it will be okay! Even if you aren't able to get what you want (and I think you can and should be able to) but even failing that you will be able to breast feed them when you get home, and you all will benefit.

We did an exercise in our home birth class where we had to write down all of the things we wanted from our birth and didn't want from our birth on the opposite sides of cards, then we turned each one over and practice the idea of not getting what we hoped or planned. It was very helpful to me, not to let go of wanting them, but to realize what was really important to me.

I imagine you are greiving many of the things you wanted but aren't getting from this birth, which is going to make everything more emotional as you go. Keep advocating for yourself, but know really that you've done what you can and you'll still be a great mama to these babes.
post #11 of 59
You can TOTALLY breastfeed preemie multiples right off the start - I have a friend who had triplets (I think at about 34 weeks?) and they were *almost* exclusively breastfed. The only reason they were supplemented at all was that my friend couldn't grow and extra breast (and of course they all wanted feeding at once) but she had plenty of milk, right from day 1. She figures she'd have had no problem with twins. Her boys did get some extra from the milk bank at the hospital I think at the start. Does your hospital have a milk bank? Ask for that rather than formula (it's sterilized, don't worry).

Good luck! I hope everything goes smoothly and your babies are out of the NICU as soon as possible.
post #12 of 59

twins forum

I think your doctor is wrong and that many many women exclusively breastfeed their twins. Are you posting about this over on the twins forum? I bet some mamas there have had similar experiences. lots of hugs.
post #13 of 59
Your doctor is wrong. They may not latch at first, but I know of three mamas who successfully breastfed their multiples (2 sets of twins, 1 set of triplets) who were born at 35, 36 and 32 weeks gestation. In your situation, I'd be telling the hospital that breastfeeding is important to you, if these babies are fed by bottle you will sue them for assault (it's been done in the UK) and write in magic marker across their first set of clothes I'M BREASTFED- PLEASE USE A CUP. I know it will look ridiculous in the photographs, but better than the other options.
All of that, however, is completely aside the point- you're going to meet your babies soon I'm so excited...
post #14 of 59
Christy, thinking of you on this big day! I don't blame you for being weepy and worried- this is such a HUGE event! You've never been through anything like this before and your life is about to change forever with the arrival of your twins! And just all the unknowns that you will be facing makes it such an emotional time.

I guess your doctor doesn't have much experience with breastfeeding! It's pretty common to bf twins! My friend had twins 6 wks early and they are 9 mos. now and still nursing well! I have another friend with 3 yr old twins who nursed for a year, and the one twin continued to nurse for another year. I'm sure on the twins forum there are tons of moms who can give you advice and share their stories!

I second the suggestion of having someone (maybe your dh or a friend who can help out, since you'll be kinda busy) contact LLL, or have an outside lactation consultant come in right away to help get you started. And of using the hospital grade pump, and doing all the herbal/diet tricks to increase your milk supply.

I'm so glad you were able to post and let us know what's happening today!! Can't wait to hear of your precious babies' joyful arrival!
post #15 of 59

I breastfed twins...

, mama.

My twins were born at term, but I have been through the ICU experience with them (in infanthood), and I couldn't not comment...

When things get really scary and tough in the hospital, just think ahead to the reward. A few weeks from now, life will be completely different, and so much better. Your babies will be home with you, safe, and cuddled around you in bed or on the couch. Happy moments galore are waiting to be had.... just think of the ICU experience as a pause button in all that happiness.

Re: nursing....I exclusively nursed my twins for almost a year. They had troubles eating solid foods, so my boobs did all the work. It can be done, and it's not unusual!! There's no reason to think that after a few days after birth, with pumping assistance most likely, that you'll be producing a fabulous supply of milk. Insist on getting pumping help, and insist that the colostrum you produce, then the milk you produce, is fed to your babies. Don't beat yourself up if at the beginning they need a little extra fluids or help--being born at 36ish weeks sometimes demands a little adapting to preemie needs. As they get older, though, and as long as you're disciplined about encouraging your milk production, you have every right to demand that they be exclusively breast fed.

Best of luck, mama. Remember--this tough part will be over soon. Take deep breaths and remember to look ahead.
post #16 of 59
I see lots of other people are giving great advice about breastfeeding twins - but I'm more than a little concerned about why they would be put in NICU for a minimum of 12 hours and why you can't see them. That is really messed up, if they are OK and you are OK. Have someone wheel you down, make some alliances with a few of the "crunchy" nurses in the NICU who will watch out for your interests. The babies should be allowed to latch on at least, even if they're "just" getting colostrum. Colostrum is REALLY important for NICU babies.

All I can say is, get pissed while also getting some breastfeeding-friendly people on your team. NICUs suck BAD usually, but you can make it work. At the same time, do whatever they tell you (i.e. formula feed/pump/whatever for a few days) just to get out of the hospital and with an LLL leader or BF counselor. I pumped and FF for a week through bottles and gavage just to get out of the hospital NICU; and then when we got home, the real work started. And mine breastfed until age 3! I didn't have twins - but I am sure most moms of twins are moms of preemies - so there is probably lots of support out there.

I send my electronic hugs - and I would strongly suggest getting traumatic birth counseling after this is all over. I feel trauma just READING your story.

I agree with the above - getting pumping help. There are hospital-grade nursing pumps you can rent that were really helpful to me during the preemie transition time. Warning: those pumps are beasts! You will feel very bovine.
post #17 of 59
Im so sorry mama Your doctor is an a$$ I have a friend that not only successfully breastfed her twins that were in the NICU, but had an unexpected surprise when she became preg again very shortly after & pretty much nursed triplets at that point because they were all so close in age.

Dont let him discourage you. Good luck on your deliveries of your sweet babies!!
post #18 of 59
Big hugs and good luck today! I have seen lots of twins successfully exclusively breastfeed, or bf & donor milk while mom's milk supply increased. Really depends on the babies (some 35-36 weekers are a bit slower to start breastfeeding, and may need some pumped milk at first), but it totally can be done with some good support in your corner.

Good luck, good luck, good luck!!
post #19 of 59
Good luck! Thinking about you and your babes. What a jerky doctor. I hope there is someone who will repsect your wishes and take your side at that hospital. I agree with all that has been said above, get a private LC, fight to see those babies as soon as possible and pump as much as you can.

Pretty soon this will all be a blurry memory!
post #20 of 59
Best wishes, Christy. Hope everything goes well and you find some peace in the process.

A very close friend of mine breastfed her twins for more than a year. One baby got "nipple confused" in the hospital, but a very good LC got her back on the breast once they were home.

Christa
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