What our babies are "affirming" to themselves...

[*Amy*]

I had a random thought that struck me as kind of funny today. So many of us are doing mental affirmations or positive talk/thought to our babies, along with working on stretches/poses to help with optimal positioning. What if we could listen in on what our babies are saying to themselves, or to us...

"My head is small enough to easily and comfortably fit through the birth canal."

"My shoulders will comfortably pass through the birth canal."

"Even though my mom sits on recliners and slouches, I can still achieve optimal positioning."

"My umbilical cord will remain intact until I no longer need it."

"My transition to the outside world will be peaceful and full of love."

"My mama is capable of a healthy, natural, and relaxed birth."

"I will latch on properly and begin to suck when placed at the breast - I've been practicing!!"

"More chocolate please."

Hee hee. What do you think your babes would be saying?

[Ryver]

"Mama, please stop watching the news, you get too agitated. Don't worry, I'll kick you until you stop"

"Thank you mommy for keeping the pink tide at bay, I like other colors too!"

"Don't be scared mommy, this is what you were made to do"

"I know you cry a lot, and I know it is usually because you are so happy. That's because I'm taking up so much room, you need to let a little happy out."

Yea, these are corny, but then lately, so am I!

[zjande]

"Geeeez, can't I EVER poke my foot way out without you pushing it right back in??"

"I sure like wearing your cervix for a hat"

Ok so those are not affirmations. But that IS what I imagine my wee person saying in there!

I'd LIKE it to be saying, "Oh, so you'd like me to come out sooner than later? You'd rather not wait alllll those days til your due date? Ok, cool, no problem! Here I come!!"

[birthjunkie27]

Originally Posted by zjande

"Geeeez, can't I EVER poke my foot way out without you pushing it right back in??"
l

LOL! I am doing this ALL day. I have my hands on my belly pretty much at all times, pushing things back in place....a butt, a foot.

[flapjack]

I am a spontaneous, creative individual. Unpredictability is good.
Down is the new up.
(guess who turned 3 full somersaults last night? But the scan showed he was head-down, so that's OK...)
I'm dreading this baby coming out- I think I have another, erm, spirited child on my hands- which is at least never boring.

[babykaoss]

Originally Posted by zjande

"I sure like wearing your cervix for a hat"

hahaha!

this is definitely what my little boy is saying!

[laisett]

"i will be ready to leave my cozy warm haven soon. i will be warm in the outside world"

"my birth will be smooth. my cord will not be wrapped around my neck. i will descend quickly and easily"

"i will be well cared for when i am born"

[oliversmum2000]

Originally Posted by zjande

"Geeeez, can't I EVER poke my foot way out without you pushing it right back in??"

i have been feeling hormonal and tearful all day and this really made me laugh - thank you

(i am visiting from dec due date club - due dec 2 but both my boys were 3 days early!)

[gonnabeamom]

"I have all that I need despite the fact that my parents are crazy"

"I will arrive in my own time, whether the floors are clean or not"

"I will gently and firmly teach these clueless rookies how to be parents"

"I know everything I need to about birth, whether Mama and Papa do or not"

[flyingspaghettimama]

"Boy, am I comfortable in here and plan to stay a looong time. I've got a kick-ass lawyer and nobody's evicting me early like the last tenant."

"I have a five-point plan on how to annoy my sister, stage a coup, and RULE THE WORLD. Yeaaahrgh!"

"I have been writing my dissertation on inutero linguistics, but this dang umbilical cord keeps running dry. Can we get an BlackBerry in here? People?!"

"Pumpkin pie. Pumpkin muffins. Pumpkin ravioli. Pumpkin pie. Pumpkin muffins...The service in this place is terrible. Supply and demand theory obviously fails in this situation."

And my daughter says he is saying,

"Bleh!" because that is what babies say.

We are thinking of the middle name of Noam for him. I am waiting to hear what he thinks (I'm sure he'll let me know)...

[Belleweather]

I don't know that I have an affirmations-style baby. What I really think he's thinking in there is:

Lady, if you don't turn the heat in that bloody house up, I am NEVER coming out!

and

Look, I know the regulations, and OSHA says there ought to be two exits in here. Now I'm going to huff and puff, and kick until I'm blue in the face until I find another way out, got it?

The kid seriously thinks he's going to be the first baby born out of his mother's side.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Originally Posted by Belleweather

Look, I know the regulations, and OSHA says there ought to be two exits in here. Now I'm going to huff and puff, and kick until I'm blue in the face until I find another way out, got it?

The kid seriously thinks he's going to be the first baby born out of his mother's side.

Ha, that's the funny thing. With my first labor at the moment right before birth, I was so ign'rant...I was like, "oh my goodness, feels like she's going to be born outta my butt?! Nobody told me this! Aigh!"

[BensMom]

Down is the new up.

"Why on earth would I want to hang out upside down for the last couple of months, mom? Talk about head rush..."

[samsmamma]

"Please stop crossing your legs mama, you're cramping my style. And my head. Just hang loose like Daddy."

"I'll come out when I'm good and ready to come out!"

"Wait, the Yankees didn't even make the World Series? Screw it, I'm staying in till next season. Ok with you?"