Cry for Help - Page 2

[Irishmommy]

((((Pony)))) Rather than Waldorf, I'd suggest Montessori. Maria Montessori orignally started this for special needs kids (not that they were called that then), so I would think if he is behind that it would be perfect for him.

[hopeland]

You mentioned he had an evaluation before...who was it done by and what were the results. I agree with the previous post that this sounds like a developmental delay or disability. I would suggest you request a formal evaluation in writing. The school is required to do this and pay for it. IT falls under the federal americans with disabilites law. Schools receive federal funds you may want to look online for the "IDEA" it stands for individuals disability education act. Also some schools have special ed classes and some mainstream. My experience is that for the most part the child remains in the classroom but is pulled out for individual classes when necessary. Again I really urge you to have the evaluation process begun. It takes a while to get it done so the sooner the better. Your son would then have an IEP-individual education plan and it would spell out in writing what modifications if any need to be made in the classroom. By the way the federal law states that whenever possible the child will be in the least restricitve environment.

[MrsMoe]

Originally Posted by hu*singing*mom

Pony,
I am a sahm who homeschools but I also used to be a special educator in public school. It sounds like money is an issue so homeschooling and private school may not be options for you. If this is the case, maybe I can offer some insight. First, special education should not be seen as a punishment but as supports for those who need it. There are so many different ways to support kids... some may do best staying with a familiar group of peers while they get extra 1:1 attention in a therapy group a couple times a week. Another child may thrive in a classroom with a lower ratio of kids to adults. Sometimes a regular ed teacher may just need some extra ideas and support from a special ed teacher without changing classes. The services are there to help AND nothing can be forced on you.

My suggestions are 1. Get support from a parents advocacy group 2. See yourself as part of a TEAM working for your ds 3. Don't see Special Education as a puishment 4. Know your rights as a parent (the school can give you this in writing).

May the blessings be.

Excellent post.

No parent wishes to hear that their child may have developmental delays. Please keep in mind that sometimes issues can be overcome with the proper care. Please get your son evaluated so that if here is an issue, it can be treated to his future development isn't hindered.

[darlindeliasmom]

I agree; great post, hu*singing*mom!

pony: I think the most important thing she says is about how you view educational interventions for your son. The people in school can really be a resource. They get to know your child, his needs, his situation, your needs; they WANT to improve his schol experience.

DD meets with a counselor weekly, which has helped her tremendously in her adjustment and self-esteem.

Another thought I had:
My friends with disabled and well children often express the well siblings' need for support. Their boys are both older--one is 9, another is 10--with older ill siblings. Both these little boys take on responsibilities, try so hard to be a help to mom and their sib, that sometimes it HAS had an impact on their own work. Has anyone suggested a sibling support group for your son? I know there is an online project (probably not relevant at his age) where sibs offer mutual support. I found some info at www.thearc.org/siblingsupport

I can check with those moms, as to what they do--one is a public school parent, the other homeschools--to get their sons this support.

Best wishes for peace with this transition, and hugs to your little girl as well. M

[janebug]

Just wanted to send lots of hugs and love to you and your two little ones. I don't know much to help you with since we haven't gotten to this age yet but please don't worry! You have tried hard to do everything right and you have succeeded! You sound like a loving, caring mom who is making sure to help her children in every way possible, there isn't any better.

BTW--there were six kids in my family, the older three never even went to kindergarten but they sent me b/c they said I was "smothering" my baby sister. Two of my siblings were considered for special education classes because they just learned in different ways and they still do and they are some of the brightest people I know (the only ones in my family to get PhDs). My mom was in constant conference with schools and teachers for 28 years and when the youngest graduated from high school they had a BIG party!!! Hang in there and stick to your guns, have hope and know we are all developing differently at every age. Don't get intimidated and keep doing the wonderful job you are doing.

[AAK]

Originally Posted by pony

I can't homeschool--I have to work to support myself. I don't even want to homeschool. It's never appealed to me. What about a program like Sylvan Learning Method--anyone heard anything about that? Are there any other programs or therapies or nutrients that might help him?

At our Sylvan Center they have an Alpha Ed program. It is targeted towards 4-6 year olds and really seems cool. It is a reading program and is different than anything I have seen in the public schools. I was reading an old article from Mothering about reading and was surprised to notice that the research in the article and what they do at Alpha Ed were VERY similar. Unfortunately, I think Sylvan just started using this program and it isn't available everywhere.

I did want to say though that I had my preschooler screened through the public schools recently. I was the one to initiate it but I was nervous anyhow. I was only concerned about her speech (which although I am sure would work itself out--she is sooooo frustrated when people don't understand her) but they first screen everything. I didn't want them to go "searching" for problems and there is no way I would put her on meds! I was very surprised (in a good way). The screening was fun for her and me. And I got an interesting insight to different areas of her development.

I think it is good for you to check out all your options, resources, etc. but you might be surprised with the school. So far I am really disappointed with our kindergarten program and I wasn't expecting much from this but I am glad I went to it.

Showing that you are an interested, dedicated mother might help your relationship with the school too, my dh is an OT and during his education he was required to do a fieldwork with the school district. He said that the worst thing was that most parents just didn't care, they just wanted meds or some other quick fix. You might find that they welcome someone who is really interested in SOLVING the problem not just covering it up.

Amy

[kofduke]

Originally Posted by Mizelenius

mama!

I think, as a pp said, that getting more information is a good thing. YOU are still the mom and YOU get to decide what should be done. However, get all of the facts and opinions before you take action.

Also, I think early intervention is KEY. It can make all the difference!

ITA!

Also remember, early intervention and getting special ed services early on is the best way to prevent more serious problems later. It is entirely possible to get special ed in the early grades and then move on! More than 12% of children in the US get services, there is much less of a stigma than there used to be. Plus most children who receive services receive them in the regular ed classroom, so they're still with their peers.

Best of luck!

[pony]

Mamma2Mingbu--thanks for the links! I think I'm going to start him on DHA supplements soon. As for chiropractic--I didn't know there were chiropractors who specialize in children. I bet they're hard to find. I have to see if our ins. covers that.
Eckist Mamma--It's not that I view special Ed. as a punishment, but as a stigma which may injure his scholastic career as well as his self esteem. I won't disallow it if he needs it because it very well might help, but I really hope he doesn't qualify (if it even comes to an evaluation).

[pony]

Wow--I didn't see the page 2 posts--kofduke-you've allayed my concerns about the stigma issue. I did have him evaluated by 2 different school systems. Janebug--it was inspiring to read that your nearly special needs siblings have Ph.D's now. Tomorrow I'm going to see a child psychologist, and soon I'm also going to sign him up for Rainbows (a program for kids who have undergone traumatic experiences). Thank you Mammas for all your caring thoughts.

[momma2mingbu]

Pony -
Unless you have amazing insurance, it will most likely only cover a short course of chiropractic treatment. (Ours only covered 12 visits.) A good chiro will work with you to figure out a way you can afford it - payment plans, etc. - if you decide to give it a try. I'd suggest making a commitment to at least 3 months of treatment before deciding if it is helping or not. THis link - http://www.icpa4kids.com/locator/index.php - should help you find someone who has special training in peds.

[pony]

Thanks, Mama2minbu--I checked out the website and will contact a chiropractor in my area.

[annarosa]

he is just so young for all this - why not as others have suggested give him one or two years more before he begins big school. let him find his own feet and find his own strengths before he is pigeonholed into something he is not ?

have you thought of something like a Steiner/
Waldorf school or kindergarten which might much better suit his temperament ?

[hu*singing*mom]

Originally Posted by pony

Mamma2Mingbu--thanks for the links! I think I'm going to start him on DHA supplements soon. As for chiropractic--I didn't know there were chiropractors who specialize in children. I bet they're hard to find. I have to see if our ins. covers that.
Eckist Mamma--It's not that I view special Ed. as a punishment, but as a stigma which may injure his scholastic career as well as his self esteem. I won't disallow it if he needs it because it very well might help, but I really hope he doesn't qualify (if it even comes to an evaluation).

Pony: So glad that so many people responded with hope to offer support. In my experience, the younger the child the less they view extra help for themselves or peers in a negative way. Keep involved as you have been so that you can keep tabs on his emotional impact with any evaluations, services, etc. You seem to want what's best for him now and long term which means he's got a very loving mom. Hang in there. By the way, I smiled that you recognized me as an Eckist. :-)

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Originally Posted by annarosa

he is just so young for all this - why not as others have suggested give him one or two years more before he begins big school. let him find his own feet and find his own strengths before he is pigeonholed into something he is not ?

have you thought of something like a Steiner/
Waldorf school or kindergarten which might much better suit his temperament ?

Realize that Pony said that she couldn't home school because she had to work to support herself. If this child isn't in school, I'm not sure what her options would be???? Its pretty hard to find an affordable, non-school placement for a school-age child. We were really lucky that our preschool would keep DS until he was nearly 6 before he started K this fall, but it was expensive and few schools have the extended preschool option. And private schools would seem to be a real stretch as well.

I think that getting as much information from the school, from evaluations, from support groups, and from here sounds like the best first step. And while you are gathering information, take your time and don't let anyone push you before you feel ready to make a decision. At the same time though, be open to any support people have to offer.