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Post your negative VBAC failure stories here - Page 6

post #101 of 109
I agree - this is an important and amazing thread. I, too, like to surround myself in positive thoughts, but it's also important to recognize our difficulties and sadness, esp. when we all share similar feelings... and it's so encouraging - and healing - to find a support thread dedicated to the issues we are all feeling. It's healing also to read each other's stories and know that we're not alone.

Could this be a sticky if it has an appropriate title?
post #102 of 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by jackie75 View Post
I don't like the term cesarean birth at all. They were not births to me. I know some do use it, & some don't...& that's OK.

VBAC failure is fine for me. We are not describing ourselves as failures, just the attempt of a vaginal birth was a failure.
what if you don't even attempt it, because you can't? is that a failure, too?

my next birth, if there is one, will be surgical. it's just the only acceptable option in my situation, and i know it.

i refuse to call that a failure of any kind, and i refuse to think that because of this i will never have a "birth." i've already had one. she came out of my body. i birthed her. if a baby is born, it's a birth. period.
post #103 of 109
I think a sticky would be fine but this kind of title is a slap in the face to me, as someone who did not have the vbac I wanted despite trying my best. I did NOT "fail" - if someone chooses to use that termt od escribe how their child was born is up to them, but to assign it to everyone who has a CBAC is hurtful.
post #104 of 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by readytobedone View Post
what if you don't even attempt it, because you can't? is that a failure, too?

my next birth, if there is one, will be surgical. it's just the only acceptable option in my situation, and i know it.

i refuse to call that a failure of any kind, and i refuse to think that because of this i will never have a "birth." i've already had one. she came out of my body. i birthed her. if a baby is born, it's a birth. period.
Exactly. I birthed all three of my children. I needed surgical help to do it, but I did it. I can never and will never think of those moments as failures.
post #105 of 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by DanAbimytwomiracle View Post
I think a sticky would be fine but this kind of title is a slap in the face to me, as someone who did not have the vbac I wanted despite trying my best. I did NOT "fail" - if someone chooses to use that termt od escribe how their child was born is up to them, but to assign it to everyone who has a CBAC is hurtful.
What if the thread were called "post your CBAC stories" - that way it could include everything from sadness to happiness. It would be great if it had a nice preference at the top of the thread that was inclusive to all kinds of cbac scenarios...
post #106 of 109
My first c/s was because baby b of my twins was breech. Where we were then living, every doctor who saw the orientation of the babies said "c-section". There were so many things I had wanted with that pregnancy, but when it was known to be twins and became complicated, I had to let it go.
So the boys were born at 38 weeks with a scheduled c-section.

About two years after that birth I found myself pregnant again, although we were living in a different state. I expressed my wishes for a vbac, for a multitude of reasons, and was met with conditional support. Lots of "as long as the baby doesn't get too big". I took natural childbirth classes (something I'd wanted the first time around, but had to let go), and hired a doula. I planned on staying home as long as possible.

When my "labor day" arrived, I stayed home for about 12 hours. We did everything I knew to do-- lots of walking, eating, drinking as I wished. When I vomited, we decided to go to the hospital. Contractions were at that time about 2 minutes apart.

24 hours later, my labor was regressing. My contractions were spacing out, despite much walking, birth ball, and a shower. Contractions were intense, but not going anywhere. My water had been broken at one point, thinking it would move things along, but that too did not intensify the contractions or make them more frequent.

At some point, I was offered a few options. Continue as is, for a few more hours. Start pitocin, with all the hook-ups and monitoring that comes with that. Or sign for the c-section. So I asked to think about it. After much thinking, I signed for the c-section. I didn't want an induction, at all. And I didn't think we were going to get there under my steam, as I felt completely done in. I couldn't keep anything, down, not even water, and was just spent.

So I had a second c-section, and I'm ok with it. I feel like I gave my body a full chance, and had a good go. I'm very glad I got to experience labor. I actually felt better after that c-section than I did after my twin section.
My baby was nearly 9 pounds, so I'm not sure if that contributed to my difficulties, but she was not engaged at all.

I think my doctors were pretty good about the situation. I always had a say, they were very respectful of my wishes. We were left alone for a long time to do this our way, with monitoring from the nurses.

If I have another child, I'll probably plan a c-section this time, although let baby pick the day.
post #107 of 109
Can't the OP just change the title in the advanced edit option?


to all mamas and all your birth stories. We birth our babies the best we can, with the all that we know how to do, in different places, in different ways, we BIRTH our babies.
post #108 of 109
I haven't attempted my VBAC yet, but it is nice to see a thread on CBAC stories as well as the "positive VBAC stories" -- it makes me feel more informed on all the possible situations that can occur. Thanks for posting your stories, mamas!
post #109 of 109
Quote:
what if you don't even attempt it, because you can't? is that a failure, too?
The way I look at it, I was reaching for a goal. My goal was to birth my baby through my vagina, but, I didn't reach that goal, so the attempt was a failure. If the goal was a scheduled cesarean, & you had an oops birth, that would be a cesarean failure. Hope I'm making sense. I'm using the wording objectively.

I'm not saying I'm a failure, or anyone else is. Just my goal was.

There have been some pretty heated discussions on the ICAN list of the term "birth". Some women feel their c/s was birthing, that they gave birth. Some didn't. One thing I won't do is call someone else's a birth or not. That is not for me to say. I feel like I didn't birth. I respect both sides to this issue.

My children had a birthday, but I did nothing to bring them into the world. I came close, & worked hard....I labored but the end result was me lying on an operating table having my children removed.

Again, this is how I feel about my births. Woman are free to call what they experienced what they want....but I feel it is insensitive for others to tell me what I did or call my experiences something I feel it wasn't.

Hugs to all. Whatever our stories & choices are, we need & deserve support. I'm sure we all heard the same ol' line from people that all that matters is a healthy baby...& how that hurts us as women. The mothers count too.

In case someone here hasn't read this article, it is a must read!

You should be grateful

May our future births be healing & wonderful....regardless if they are CBAC or VBAC.
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