Need advice--work related.....UPDATED

[No2Circ]

I teach high school. I have a pretty good rapport with most of my students. I have over 200 students.

Anyway, a student raised his hand in one of my classes today, and asked, "Mrs. X, is it true that you have a bumper sticker on your car that says, "Say no to circumcision"?

I replied, "yes, that's true." (I've never ever mentioned this to them, but obviously a student must have seen me in my car.)

A girl then asked, "Did you put it on your car as a joke?"

I responded, "No, it's not a joke."

Then she asked, "Did you get it for free?"

And I responded, "No, I didn't get it for free. I had to think about the issue when I had my son and I had to make that decision for him. Our cars reflect ourselves, and so my bumper sticker is a part of who I am and what decision I made for my son. If anyone wants more information, I'd be happy to talk to you one-on-one later. Right now, let's get back to work."


So, how'd I do?

Now, for the advice I need. My 200+ students are all talking about this. (I know because a girl from a DIFFERENT class period came in after school and said, "Mrs. X, tell me about your bumper sticker." I asked her how she knew about my bumper sticker, and she said, "Oh, everyone's talking about it."

So......next week, I'll have other classes who want to bring this subject up! (We have every-other-day classes.) So, I need to think about what to say to them. If I had a class of just girls, that would be a piece of cake. But I don't. I'll be staring into the faces of boys, as well. We live in a high-circ area, and these boys are 16 or 17 years old, so it's a good bet that at least 90% of them are circ'd. I, of course, don't want to make them feel bad about their circ status. But at the same time I want to educate them as future fathers!

ALSO, it's one of those schools where parents like to call the principal and complain about every little thing. I don't want parent phone calls over this! So it's the perfect time to educate 200 or so future parents, but I don't want to say the wrong thing. Any thoughts?

[LavenderMae]

I think you have done GREAT so far!!
I would answer their questions honestly. I think it's tricky because it is likely they will bring it up to mom and dad and I can see a lot of parents complaining (no matter what you say). I hope some other people on here can give you better advice.

[pdx.mothernurture]

My idea: Put another bumpersticker on your car, that has nocirc.org's website address. Or, tape a little info sheet with further info/resources for those who want to learn more on the inside of one of the back windows. You can have anything you want on your car-it's your property-and that way you can provide additional info without actually talking about it in class.

If you're comfortable talking about it in class, and you don't think that's going to be a problem or will somehow get you into trouble (especially if religion comes into it, separation of church and state and all that)...I think that's great!

It's a great age to be introducing the topic to them...hopefully, long before they have children of their own and while they're still impressionable. :-)

Jen

[A&A]

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[fromscatteredtribe]

i agree that it will probably become the controversy of the century, but adding a bumper sticker with the web address or one that says something like "no elective plastic surgery for babies" makes just one point and gets them thinking, but not preachy like about how its mutiliation (although it is)
what a platform you have (for which you didn't even ask)
good luck

[earthmama369]

I think you handled it wonderfully. When I was teaching/interning at the high school level, I had a pagan sticker and a rainbow sticker on the back of my car. Some kids noticed and it came up in several classes. I got a little nervous about the possible repercussions, being that the teachers and administration there would, in part, determine if I got my certification and I'd heard horror stories about teachers who walked outside the lines in some communities. Well, there were repercussions of a sort . . . I was asked to come in and speak to 3 history classes during their unit on Salem witchcraft trials and ended up helping lead the school's GLBT student organization.

It's wonderful, as a student, to have teachers who will demonstrate their commitment to their beliefs, even if they're different than your own. High school, to me, is all about learning how to find information and make up your own mind. Being let into the mind of a mentor, to see how you reached your own decisions about ethical issues, is a valuable gift you can give them, especially when you phrase it the way you did -- nonjudgmentally.

[Quirky]

Re: having to speak to a bunch of cut boys....I would emphasize that fifteen-twenty years ago, we knew much less about the functions/benefits of the foreskin than we do now and the medical advice was to cut it off. Medical thinking and research has changed a lot in that time and the AAP, which used to recommend circ, no longer does. Also, today's parents are able to find out information on the web that is more up-to-date than what many doctors know. (This oughta resonate with your kids!). So kids today can let their parents off the hook because their parents thought they were acting in their kids' best interests. (Above all, don't blame the parents!)

[calngavinsmom]

I think you did great! You are in the perfect environment to enlighten these kids.....just think of the impact you could have! Maybe you could just print out some informational pamphlets to hand out to those who are curious. There are a couple of really good ones out there.

http://www.nocirc.org/publish/3pam.pdf

or,
http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...lications.html

Good luck to you!

Tara

[jessjgh1]

If your class brings it up again you could also have a little lesson about activism. Tell them that this is an issue that you feel strongly about. The sticker was an easy way to get other people to think about it- especially since it is something that is not normally discussed. Then have them design their own bumper sticker on a cause or issue that is important to them- and offer them class time to share them.

There are many ways to make this an object lesson-- that times change, misperceptions continue, change is hard. You could make analogies (such as to breastfeeding or the medicalization of birth), etc. GLobal lessons in how the US is the only country that does it, etc. etc.

Keep us posted!

Jessica

[birthdancedoula]

I'd bet that a good number of teenage boys don't even know they're circ'd (or what circ really is rather). My dh didn't realize he was missing something from his anatomy until he was 17 or so. Putting the resources in their hands (I love the nocirc bumper sticker idea!) and letting them do their own research is the most empowering thing you can do for them, IMO. Who knows, you may just be cultivating intactivists!

[paquerette]

Psst, PM jee'smom, if she doesn't pop in here. She teaches anatomy, so she has the opportunity to bring the subject up in her classes, but perhaps she has some insight on approach that might help you.

[Frankly Speaking]

I think the way I would handle it is to prepare an information sheet of websites. I'd announce that "On xday I want to take some time to discuss my bumper sticker with you. I've prepared a sheet of resources for you that you can use to prepare for xday and we will discuss your questions then.

Prepare a short statement for xday, present it and then open the floor up for a question and answer session. Have a list of issues you want to cover and check them off as they ask questions and discuss the ones they didn't ask about at the end of the question and answer session.

This follows a sales format I used for many years and it works very well.

Frank

[~Megan~]

I would suggest that you tell them to look up the information themselves. That way they find it by themselves without you being involved.

[nd_deadhead]

First of all, you obviously have a good relationship with your students if they are willing to talk to you about this in class - My hat is off to you!!!

I think you handled it beautifully - especially considering that you were blind-sided.

I like someone else's comment about activism, and how important it is to stand up for things in which you believe - even if (especially if?) your ideas are not mainstream.

I wouldn't go into a lot of detail in class - you don't say what subject you teach, but unless it's health or ethics, this probably isn't part of your curriculum! But I do think it's important to address student questions - on or off-topic.

Led them lead the discussion - it could be that they are curious about why you oppose RIC, or they may be curious abot why you advertise your believes. I would try to stick with the facts about RIC (which are plenty condemning on their own) in as neutral a manner as possible - and if you attach any blame at all, direct it toward the medical community (of course if some of your students have doctors and nurses for parents, you'll probably hear from them!).

Finally, it's a good opportunity to reinforce how important it is to respect each others' differences.

[No2Circ]

Originally Posted by jessjgh1

If your class brings it up again you could also have a little lesson about activism. Tell them that this is an issue that you feel strongly about. The sticker was an easy way to get other people to think about it- especially since it is something that is not normally discussed. Then have them design their own bumper sticker on a cause or issue that is important to them- and offer them class time to share them.

I think this is a good idea. This fits in with staying with my "safe" answer I gave the original class asking the question--that our cars represent ourselves, and the bumper sticker represents the decision I made for my son (which still plants a huge seed, I think.)


It was funny--as soon as the topic came up, the class was abuzz with their own side-conversations. I have really good hearing, so I could tune into a couple of them. One girl said to the boy next to her, "You mean they don't HAVE to circumcise?" and he replied, "No, it's optional."

Another girl asked the boy next to her, "What IS circumcision?" and he replied, "It's surgery on the baby's penis." She then asked, "To make it bigger???" That one almost made me laugh!


The only concern I have about telling them to go research it themselves is that there are so many pro-circ websites out there.

The concern I have about discussing it in too much detail--like mentioning words such as "penis" and "foreskin" (beyond offending anyone) is that I COULD get accused of teaching sex ed, which is a big no-no outside of a health classroom (and even then, the health teachers have to get parental permission slips signed.)

[No2Circ]

Originally Posted by earthmama369

I think you handled it wonderfully. When I was teaching/interning at the high school level, I had a pagan sticker and a rainbow sticker on the back of my car. Some kids noticed and it came up in several classes. I got a little nervous about the possible repercussions, being that the teachers and administration there would, in part, determine if I got my certification and I'd heard horror stories about teachers who walked outside the lines in some communities. Well, there were repercussions of a sort . . . I was asked to come in and speak to 3 history classes during their unit on Salem witchcraft trials and ended up helping lead the school's GLBT student organization.

WOW. You obviously teach/taught in a different state than the one I'm in!!!! Let me guess........California or Oregon?

[Girl Named Sandoz]

I think you've handled it beautifully so far.

Please keep us posted on how things develop.

[No2Circ]

Honestly I'm a LITTLE embarrassed by it, because I'm a pretty private person! (And even though I thought some students might notice my car, I didn't think that anyone would bring it up for a class discussion.)

[Frankly Speaking]

Originally Posted by No2Circ

Honestly I'm a LITTLE embarrassed by it, because I'm a pretty private person! (And even though I thought some students might notice my car, I didn't think that anyone would bring it up for a class discussion.)

What you are seeing is a difference in the generations. I grew up on the cusp of the "Sexual Revolution" and see great differences in the people who are just a couple of years older than me and people who are just a couple of years younger. It's almost a night and day thing.

Today's youth are very free and open about discussing sexual issues, much to the alarm of their parents. They were not exposed to the "sex is dirty" message of the 1950's and early 1960's and for the most part, their parents weren't either. They just don't see that talking about normal sexual issues is a big deal in most areas of the country.




Frank

[hummingbear]

I think it is reasonable to be concerned about what you have the right and don't have the right to bring up in the classroom.

On the one hand, I would bring it up with your superiors first. Of course that would probably come to the conclusion of "you can't say anything". And then that completely takes away freedom of speech. And then would all the ingenious creative thinkers be......................?..........squelched!

There are some ways that have been introduced that seem to keep the subject alive without making it part of your classroom time.

If you are concerned about anyone finding the "pro-circ" sites then you could begin a discussion about research and conflicting information and how one develops discernment. And this applies to everything, not just circumcision!

Good Luck