Thoughts on Having Three Year Old Attend Birth?

[ColesMom]

DH and I are trying to figure out if our DS should actually see his little brother being born or not. Our doula says that it's not a big deal for a three year old because he doesn't have any preconceptions or ideas about the subject and it would be special for him to see his brother coming out of his mommy. Our hypnobirthing instructor who is also a midwife says that she thinks he should be at the maternity center when the baby's being born but not pressured to be in the room if he doesn't seem to want to be there (obviously!). DH's gut instinct is that it's too much for a three year old and my gut instinct is that I'd love for him to be part of the birth and see it.

So -- what do you think about the subject? Anyone had a three year old watch a sibling being born? Good or bad experiences?
If so, did you prepare him/her beforehand by having him/her watch videos depicting births?

Thanks for your input?

[khrisday]

My three year old was there. We prepped him with videos of a Baby Story and lots of books. He chose not to really be around me much while I was in labor, and I don't think he really saw the birth. (It was a homebirth) I was really glad that he was there because the baby had to be rushed off to the hospital and stay there for three weeks, so at leats he got to see her before she was wisked away.

[Beth-TX]

Come on over to the Homebirth board--there are 2 threads up right now on this very subject.

peace, Beth

[ColesMom]

Thanks Khrisday and BethTX - I just read over the Homebirth threads and they gave me food for thought. I'll keep thinking about it and trying to guage ds' feelings about it.

[Rollermommy]

Can I put in my .02? Dh was very concerned when I said I wanted our 3 and 4 yr. old boys at the birth. But I have done so much to prepare them. First of all, we regularly take baths together (me&the boys) and they are very comfortable with my body. Second, they have seen so much "birth porn" -as dh calls it- they don't hardly think anything about it. I didn't think the shows on tv were graphic enough, I wanted them to see REAL births. So I borrow videos all the time from the library--my fave is Gentle Birth Choices!! Since I've had lots of contractions with this pregnancy they have been active in helping me--rubbing my back, petting me...ect. They also are aware that I might make lots of noise or scream and that doesn't bother them. A lot of times kids knowing their mommy is in pain can be more than they can handle. They have askeds tons of questions about the whole process and are familiar with everything that's happening. All that combined with having someone extra there to help with them, I think my little guys are ready. I think it will be a magical experience and I wouldn't want them to miss it for anything

[ColesMom]

Gaiamom, you described exactly what I would like to do -- it sounds ideal. I have a couple of videos that I can show ds once I get over the hurdle of showing him the graphic stuff on the off chance that it will somehow freak him out! I know it won't but I guess I'm just worrying that one day he'll look back and think "I can't believe my mom showed me that stuff!"

[lisamarie]

My sister had her 2nd baby this Oct. and my niece had just turned 3 in Sept. My sister and I were very comfortable w/the idea, but other family members were concerned. I was her "comfort person" (we were in the hospital and my sister had an epidural). During a part of the labor, my sister did need some rest and I took my niece for a long car ride so she could nap. By the time we came back it was about time to push and I had given her a disp. camara and she took pictures while she waited. Then I gave her a front and center seat and she watched her baby brother be born. She did great. But, it was hard for her to leave the hospital w/out mommy

Good Luck~

Lisa

[Rollermommy]

Wow!! That's a GREAT idea giving them a disposable camera and having them take pictures. I just mentioned it to my boys(who are notorious for stealing our cameras and taking pictures of each other) and they got sooo excited! Thanks for the idea

[safe womb]

I think having kids there is a great idea I support the idea. get some birth videos from the library

[lisamarie]

Thanks! Actually, my ds who is 6 yo will be attending our baby girl's birth in april and he is SO looking forward to being the photographer! He already has so much fun taking pictures with the camara's when we go on our adventures and he loves showing everyone his albums!

Warmly~

Lisa