hey i found y'all.
punk! i'm worried! we're here for you.
i loved your your post about strangers rynna. i haven't had a problem with that either. i suppose they just follow me, whether i am in a trusting mood with strangers or not. but really they have a built in radar, which has Always pointed out my better friends to me, and given me warning signals about new friends, and comfortable places.
cooking - well, that's my control issue and my tiny kitchen. ruby has been helping herself which is admirable and messy and scary. for three days she stood on the top bar of the step stool climbed into the freezer for frozen fruit, peeled bananas and added juice or soymilk for smoothies. now the blender is unplugged and each part in a different place. she filled my rice cooker with rice and a little water and plugged it in and turned it on. i got up to rice surprise kitchen floor. i already hide all the detergent and our stove needs lighting and the knobs are off.
clay has cut himself twice, once a year, helping himself to a weak knife and something tough like potatoes or carrots. remember, i cannot always be watching three people at the same time. he learned his lesson for awhile each time.
as discouraging as i am, i want them to be self sufficient and learn to cook. i told them they have to pick up trash and put clothes in the proper baskets for more official privileges.
but i have no problem with plastic lettuce knives you can get three in a pack at the dollar store, and they like to use the egg slicer for mushrooms and bananas and strawberries. and clay loves the hand mixer. i know i'm loosening up, cos reed has absolutely no interest in preparation though he helps himself to water and food depending on his mood.
ruby has completely taken over feeding our outside cat(s). but i run out of food quickly. at least she tries to sweep the porch.
last nite i was noticing at her vaginal rash and she was saying, "it hurts, mom, my hole hurts". me and dh stifle giggling. she took that to mean we didn't understand. so she gets a sippy cup and points to the top and obstinately says, "see, like this hole, and water comes out like my pee" and we are trying not to howl and i say "yes ruby, it is YOUR HOLE, but lets call this your vulva and this your vagina". which only makes another reaction from dh so i'm not sure she should wield those words after all. fortunately my boys were somewhat preoccupied or they would have maddenned the heck out of her about it. that's all i need, three kids shouting "vagina" in public spaces. for some reason, the shouting of "vulva" and "penis" and every other word "butt" do not faze me. the word VAGINA just seems more obvious and alarming to the public, but maybe that's just me?????
we did halloween. ruby was zooboomafoo with butterfly wings. ruby and her friend anna shared and ate all their candy as i surreptitiously threw stuff away in three segments. the boys i threw away a good third before they really looked at it then they ate half and we put it away for the next day, then they just fought over the rest and i threw away anything i could smuggle. i feel totally okay with being dishonest with them about it. and then it was gone. i cannot do the doling out thing.
ruby is still not diaper free. i don't have the will to take her to a public bathroom all the time or overnight and she gets occupied/lazy. she really likes panties though, so i figure it will work itself eventually. princesscass, my boys trained at the same time, one was after the 4th birthday the other not yet 2. they do need to be able, like pulling down pants and fine motorskill of attempting to wipe, and noticing their body. my 4 did get an ultimatum from dh, and this was just for poop to start he was over 40 pounds at the time and it just seemed ridiculous. he really just didn't think it was that important to change or that change was possible and at the time he was not regular and not noticing his body much at all. i didn't want to make a big deal because at least he wasn't holding it in like some little boys i knew. but i was certainly tired of it. but then, i'm a little tired of nursing two, and i still do it.
things are really good for me as the mamma these days, my attitude. our money situation is making me a bit ill. but i think i'm finally growing into some kind of an adult about parenting and family,and being me.....
oh, and i have hair again after five years, and have been putting on warpaint (makeup) and showering daily and got some clothes i feel good in (hey, no holes and chocolate stained tshirts) and some birkenstock boots and pierced my ears. this is a big change for me, to look in the mirror and groom, and it feels nice. the big catalyst was the weather finally cooling and me finding i had NO pants fit to be seen outside the house. last year i hit a size 8 and splurged on two jeans and a pair of cord for that. everything fatter i got rid of. now i'm at a 12/14 and none of my medium shirts fit either so i've been going back and forth to this thrift store that does exchanges and building a wardrobe. i'm vain enough to be caught with an apron cos i'm tired of looking ragged. it's hilarious to me and feels great, though a bit odd since i haven't done this since before kids.
i sure wouldn't call this reply quick.