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~Happy Third Birthday!~ Nov/Dec 02 Kids - Page 8

post #141 of 190
Happy Birthday, Elwynn! We love you!!!!!
post #142 of 190
Contrary--opposite in nature or position. unwilling to accept control or advice Webster's Dictionary
Okay, I think I am legally going to change Scarlett's name to the above. It fits her perfectly. She is wearing me out. No matter what I say, she has to say the opposite. It seems like we are in constant battle. Anyone else experiencing this? My oldest isn't like this at all. And she is moody. One minute she's totally happy and then the next minute maybe she'll notice her blanket has a crease in it and she's pissed. There is no build up or inbetween all of sudden she is maaad. When she gets like this it is hard for her to use her words. Sometimes she'll scream for a half an hour before she is able to be calm enough to use words. Help!

We are doing well (except for the above ) Casina, thanks for asking. I studied Shiatsu here in Tucson and graduated from the Desert Institute of Healing Arts in August. Now I am working part-time and going to community college part-time. The girls are in preschool at a great school. My mom and my sister now live here too, so I have some support! It is good to be back, although I am not trying to spend as much time on MDC as I used to .
I see some of you have had another little one or are expecting, congratulations!!
post #143 of 190
fern, just take it day to day, minute to minute. it is an intense adjustment. most importantly, take care of yourself (so you can take care of others).

i've had some questions about the slideshow and i don't know much about what to do if it doesn't work, since i've never made such a thing before, or used that site before. but yes, you need quicktime as opposed to windows media or realplayer.

my holiday was weird. but it snapped me out of my own funk, seeing how others were in worse states than i.
post #144 of 190
Hello all-

GA is 3 today! We where laying in bed telling her all about the day(s) (it was a 36 hour labor) this morning and it seemed like a minute ago.

We've had a great week. Vermont for xmas/first night of chanukah. GA got way to many presents with this confluance of holidays/birthday. We need to find a better way to manage it in the future. Our house looks like a toy factory exploded in it. Tomorrow we are going to weed out old toys to give away. I am hoping she will help us so that she understands we are giving these toys to kids who don't have as many toys as she does. Does anyone know if that concept is too abstract for a 3 year old?

Now we are home and my parents are visiting from SF. With the kitchen renovation happening we are short one room and we were really already in need of one more room before all of this. Next week along with my parents being here, my cousins from Holland are coming with 2 of their friends. We'll have 6 extra people in this 2 bedroom condo! I may have to ship my parents off to spend the night at my sisters.

Happy New You to all of you momma's! I think GA is the last birthday so now we all have 3 year olds! Do we still count as toddlers?

Casina - your children are beautiful!

post #145 of 190
no, i'ts not too abstract. i mean, theydon't get ittotally but every year they will understand a little more. i think it's better to start these habits as early as possible. especially the toy attachment problem. some kids if you wait til five to get rid of anything they go crazy and hang on to every scrap of paper and it gets to be a battle. of course that's a parent thing in the end. i know a child that's nine that they have kept everything....yikes!
post #146 of 190

casina, that's a really good point about holding onto things. i have been so strict about the kind of toys that we have that I have a hard time getting rid of things.

razi got a wooden play kitchen and so he didn't get a bunch of other stuff (i convinced the whole family to pitch in, in an attempt at diverting too many crappy plastic toys from coming in) it mostly worked.

razi starts montessori school in a week and it seems so weird! i'm going to have 3 hours a day all alone! my MIL is going to have him every wed. afternoon too. it's the nice thing about living w/ family, although she is driving me a little crazy. she's going to india for all of february so that will be a nice break.

it's been really rainy here and i haven't gotten out of my jammies in 2 days. i really need to motivate and take a shower...
post #147 of 190

Good books you can recommend?

So, I'm not going to have access to the internet, once xp(ex-partner) gets back from housesitting, which will be in a few days (So I have to go back to my one-room cabin with minimal elecricity) I was thinking that I'd like to buy some really good parenting books before I leave here. What would you all suggest for parenting books????? I'm interested in subjects including gentle discipline, un/home schooling, and you know, the good stuff. I know that there are some books that casina recomended, but I can't remember.

post #148 of 190
post #149 of 190
Thread Starter 
The Teenage Liberation Handbook, by Grace Llewellyn. I know your kids are far from being teenagers, but this book is very helpful in terms of opening up the possibilities of life to you, as well as to teenagers. It's also just plain fun to read, even for me (totally not an unschooler).

How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk. Can't remember who wrote it, but it ought to be required reading for all parents, as far as I'm concerned.

Protecting the Gift, Gavin de Becker. I found this book very helpful, although living out in the woods this may be less of an issue for you... but it's still quite reassuring to read.

Odd Girl Out, can't remember who wrote it, but this book is *incredible* and I think that everyone who has anything to do with girls should have to read it. There's another one called Surviving Ophelia which I've heard good things about, but haven't read myself.

Raising Your Spirited Child, another classic.

That's all that I can think of right now, unless you want specialty books (books about specific topics/special needs relating to children). I haven't wandered around the library as much as I would like to of late (I've only got 20 books out, a *very* short list for me!) so I haven't picked up anything new in terms of parenting/homeschooling recently.
post #150 of 190
Surviving Ophelia... is that a womens empowerment book?
post #151 of 190
I have heard good things about both of these Ophelia books but haven't read either yet
Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls Mary Pipher
Why are more American adolescent girls prey to depression, eating disorders, addictions, and suicide attempts than ever before? According to Dr. Mary Pipher, a clinical psychologist who has treated girls for more than twenty years, we live in a look-obsessed, media-saturated, "girl-poisoning" culture. Despite the advances of feminism, escalating levels of sexism and violence--from undervalued intelligence to sexual harassment in elementary school--cause girls to stifle their creative spirit and natural impulses, which, ultimately, destroys their self-esteem. Yet girls often blame themselves or their families for this "problem with no name" instead of looking at the world around them.

Here, for the first time, are girls' unmuted voices from the front lines of adolescence, personal and painfully honest. By laying bare their harsh day-to-day reality, Reviving Ophelia issues a call to arms and offers parents compassion, strength, and strategies with which to revive these Ophelias' lost sense of self.

Ophelia Speaks: Adolescent Girls Write about Their Search for Self Sara Shandler
Publisher Comments:
An Instructor's Guide to "
Ophelia Speaks edited by Sara Shandler Note to Teachers Themes: adolescence, body image, sexuality, friendship, self-identity, family relationships “ Before I began this project I had limited my perceptions to what I wanted to see; I saw my friends as others saw them— the high-functioning, popular, National Honor Society crowd about to enter the halls of the Ivy League. Sure we had problems, but we were basically healthy girls. That falsified vision was shattered by their contributions. With tear-filled eyes, I saw through the faÇ ade. With each essay my friends and acquaintances gave me, I became more shocked by the wide gap between what we have been told to think, what we say we think, and what we truly think. We regurgitate false pride on a whim, masking the reality of what we do to ourselves… the harsh reality of being young and female gnawed at me.” — from the author‛ s introduction At age sixteen, Sara Shandler read Mary Pipher‛ s" style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Reviving Ophelia, the national bestseller that candidly explored the unique issues that challenge girls in their struggle toward womanhood. Moved by Pipher‛ s insight yet driven to hear the unfiltered voices of today‛ s adolescent girls, Shandler yearned to speak for herself, and to provide a forum for other Ophelias to do so as well. And so she invited reflections from teenagers across the country, piecing together a complex, intimate picture of adolescent girlhood. A poignant collection of original pieces selected from more than eight hundred contributions," style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Ophelia Speaksculls writings from the hearts of girls nationwide, of various races, religions, and socioeconomic backgrounds. Ranging in age from twelve to eighteen, the voices here offer a provocative, articulate, and piercingly real view on issues public and private, from body image to dating, politics to parents, school to sex. Framing each chapter are Shandler‛ s own personal reflections, offering both the comfort of a trusted friend and an honest perspective from within the whirlwind of adolescence. Sara Shandler is currently a student at Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut. A former president of the Connecticut Valley Region of B‛ nai B‛ rith Youth Organization, she has led, represented, and influenced large numbers of adolescent girls. Questions for Classroom Discussion Why do you think so many girls were willing to tell their stories? Do you think the fact that the author is herself a teenager played a role in obtaining so many and such frank contributions? Shandler acknowledges that even girls who understand that eating disorders are dangerous secretly admire the “ will power” of their anorexic friends. Do you agree with this acknowledgement? What do you think causes so many young girls to obsess about their bodies? A frequent element in the various stories of" style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Ophelia Speaks is an overall feeling of inadequacy. Why might this pervasive feeling lead to such concrete problems as eating disorders, abusive relationships, self-mutilation, and addiction? Many of the girls who wrote about dark problems were, on the surface, “ perfect” girls— smart, pretty, and popular. Why do youthink teenagers fall prey to such problems when they appear so outwardly happy? The author maintains that adolescent girls are caught in the crossfire between “ where we have been told we should be and where we really are. Self-directed girls are sometimes lost.” She uses a friend‛ s phrase to sum up the struggle: “ I‛ m afraid of the sound of my own voice.” Why might someone fear their own voice? Who or what is trying to silence that voice? The media is frequently accused of promoting unrealistic images and unattainable goals to society. What are some of these images and goals? Why are adolescent girls so susceptible to them? Why does the media persist in feeding these images to the public? What issues might adolescent boys write about if they were to compile a" style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Hamlet Speaks? What kinds of ideals and goals do you think the media promotes to young men? What pressures does society place on its adolescent boys? Topics for Writing Assignments The writings selected for" style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Ophelia Speaks are organized into five sections: The Body Under Assault; Family Matters; The Best and the Worst of Friends; Touched by Desire; and Overcoming Obstacles and Coming into Our Own. Chapters within each section are devoted to specific topics, and each chapter is introduced by the author. Using the following excerpts from the contributors to "Ophelia Speaks, ask your students to write about these subjects. Racism “ In my heart I know that I am a good person, with a good heart. I will not allow someone else‛ s ignorance affect who I am and how I feel.But sometimes, I wish I were little again. I did not have to face a lot of racism. If I did, maybe I didn‛ t catch on. I didn‛ t understand it, because it was too cruel to comprehend.” Stress “ Who is to blame for my pain and suffering? Is it my mother for being the overly pestering parent and never getting off my case? Is it my school for giving me endless hours of homework? Is it society for trying to ruin my life? Or is it me for letting all these people and establishments get to me, and for taking it way too far? When it comes down to it, I put the stress on myself… I constantly worry that I am behind and then have to run (sometimes too fast) to catch up. The speed is both difficult and unnecessary.” Sexually Transmitted Diseases “ My throat was dry, as I said to the lady peering through the plastic window at me, ‘ I‛ m here for an HIV test‛ … .My blood has been at the lab for the past week. My body is tight and shaking as I walk toward Planned Parenthood to find out the results. I can only think, ‘ Nothing is worth this fear.‛

Another one I haven't read but my husband has and recommends is
Dads and Daughters: How to Inspire, Understand, and Support Your Daughter When She's Growing Up Sofast
by Joe Kelly

Joe Kelly also runs a nonprofit with the goals of fighting the images girls see in the media. He lead a boycott and media campaign against Abercrombie and Fitch for example.
post #152 of 190
im back, for a moment :: haven't read everything yet, but wanted to say y to everyone.

missed you all

and lil'miss!!!!! sooo good to see you back here, and mona too
post #153 of 190
Hi everyone

GREAT to hear from you, lilmiss'mama!!!

We have the stomach flu here so we have been :Puke & & , and . We are all so drained. But seriously, the only thing that sounds good in between bouts of nausea are the Christmas cookies on my counter.

Christmas was nice, and I didn't get sick until the morning after (I was thinking "I didn't drink THAT much, did I???" ). The kids got a lot of really great presents- I think people are finally getting the idea of what toys/things are good for our kids. We got J and Z each a puzzle, a book, a wooden recorder, a harmonica and a bicycle. Zachary got a wooden airplane and Julianna got a cooking set for her kitchen, and a couple of little stocking gifts. My mom got them clothes, bedsheets and Care Bears. My IL's got them weird useless crap, but they also got them Play Do so the kids were happy.

Lots of fighting with Z and J lately, which naturally makes me crazy. We have cabin fever from being stuck here sick, and it's Crystal's winter break from school. I am hoping Julianna will qualify for the preschool program at the public school 4 days a week. She needs some time away from Zach because she can't make her own decisions when he's around, she just follows him. (I think she's learn better without him there, and she needs to social time.) She can count to 10 but she still doesn't know her colors. She's working pretty hard on her puzzle right now so I'm going to 'help' her.

DH took Zachary on some errands for work, so it's just us girls. It's still hectic, but it's so *quiet*...
post #154 of 190
Thread Starter 
Reviving Ophelia, that's what I meant. Thanks, Amy.

Wednesday night, BeanBean woke up from a sound sleep and threw up all over Mike's side of the bed and the floor... for no apparent reason. He tried to drink a little bit, threw that up too, Mike washed him, changed the sheet and put him back to bed. A few hours later, he woke up dying of thirst, drank 5 oz of something or other, peed and went back to sleep and he's been fine ever since. It was one of those strange, isolated incidents.

BooBah's had horrible diapers lately, very pale and runny and they stink to high heaven... I've got no idea what that's about, either. She's not acting sick, she's just putting out the most foul diapers! If she was still nursing, I'd say that it was colostrum, but she hasn't nursed at all since October. BeanBean also told me that while he likes to see my nursies and hug and kiss them, he doesn't really want to nurse again. : I still think that there's a decent chance of him wanting to nurse when the BellyBean appears, but it's nowhere near certain at this point.. we'll have to see what happens. I can't believe it, though, here I was ready to triandem nurse and it looks like I might be nursing only one baby after all!
post #155 of 190
rynna~ My DD does the same thing from time to time.... throws up for "no reason" at all, and the next day (or 10 min. later) she's totally fine.

Thank-you both, abranger, and rynna for the great book suggestions! I'm going to try and get them
post #156 of 190
mama's, i'm having real problems w/ razi peeing at night. he's been day learned since feb. but not night which is fine except every diaper i use doesn't work. i have to change and wash all the bedding at least 3-4 times a week and it's getting kinda old. he wakes up once or twice before i come to bed to pee but in the morning we both wake up in a puddle. i've been using disposables for awhile cuz his pee was making the cloth reek. sometimes the diaper is almost completely dry and the bed is soaked. i've tried 4 different kinds of dipes...i've had plastic down under the sheets and i hated that and it made us sweat. i'm feeling fairly frustrated about it right now. any ideas? should i just deal? help
post #157 of 190

I can't believe it's really 2006... Twenty-o-six... Weird!

I went to my best friend's New Year's Eve party last night and it turned out to be a surprise birthday party for ME!!! All my family was there, and my friends, and it was very cool. I was surprised, and completely overwhelmed because I couldn't believe my friend had worked so hard to throw a party for me... I am so grateful for her friendship, I'm going to send her flowers right now, but I don't even know how to start thanking her for such a great birthday gift! She even made me a cake!!!

Sarita, I'm sorry about your pee problems... I mean Razi's pee problems. I hate to admit it but ever since mine were potty trained during the day we've been using disposables at nighttime. My only suggestion is to make sure "its" pointing down when you put the diaper on. (I know you know that.) Or maybe put a potty chair near the bed? My mom actually double diapered some of her foster kids when they got their tube feedings all night long... Good luck!

We're just hanging out today, drinking Mamosa's with the leftover champagne, watching the girls paint the afternoon away...

Love you all
post #158 of 190
Thread Starter 
Sarita-- I would look into physical/medical causes for Razi's nightwetting problem. BooBah puts out an extreme amount of urine, but it's directly related to her kidney problems. My sister wet the bed until she was much older (like 13) because she had recurrent UTIs. Perhaps giving him some cranberry supplements might help?

Leah-- Happy birthday!

Happy New Year!
post #159 of 190
Happy New Year!!

My mil watched razi last night so tavis and i got to go have dinner and talk about only adult things (we talked mostly about possibly having another baby, LOL!)

Leah- happy birthday! sounds like a great party. doesn't it make you feel good to think of people doing sweet things for you like that.

still don't know what to do about peeing. i intuitively don't feel like it's a medical problem, but i don't know.
post #160 of 190
a quick hello to everyone.
we've been sick the last couple weeks, so it has been a less then relaxing holiday, but i think we're on the road to recovery.

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