~Happy Third Birthday!~ Nov/Dec 02 Kids - Page 5

[MamaFern]

jazz..i was thinking about you and haeven today happy birthday to both of you. we love you!

[tea olive]

fern! how wonderful! the vibe from your photos is syrupy intoxicating the way things get with a newborn where time almost stands still. (and i loved seeing how big you were yay!) it makes me nostalgic.

[tea olive]

so i've been sicker than i thought, since i finally gave in and am on antibiotics and suddenly seeing how murky things have been.

ekblad, i see you are now 8!

so ruby continues to astonish and befuddle me with her girlness. and bossiness. and meddling.

clay has hives it has taken me over for the past two weeks. i'm finally at a point where i will either just give up and pretend they aren't there quit being freaked about everything - illness, temperature, soaps, stress, anything we have contact with, FOOD, or just bring him in for a steroid shot and hope for the best.

and i'm moneysick, i actually talked to dh about getting a parttime job willingly and turns out he doesn't really want the big change.

leah, it is terrible what happenned with your sister and disappointing. it seems that is just what she is capable of however. i don't think she has any real perception of how she has harmed you, as relating to shame.

rynna, i guess the question is how mike feels and your relationship with him. i know me and dh have to live with each other and have to figure things out even when we differ. although i have been working much much harder on forging my marriage as a team effort and seeing the worth of being loyal when facing situations outside my immediate microcosm. it looks like he is trying to appease both women and not siding with either you or his mother, or even himself sometimes.

for my parents and inlaws, at some point in age, and i guess with reed as my first, i stopped worrying about their judgments directly expressed to my kids. because they know they are to trust themselves and that if i have allowed it than it is okay. unfortunately that also means that my kids are prone to behaving badly, though justified, in situations where they appear disrespectful. and they think both grandmothers are a bit loopy. i guess i have also taught them to just ignore the annoying parts that won't go away, and we're working on being more civilized about it.
but it all come down to - if you are funky and judgmental towards my kid, that will damage your relationship with them (so, good luck with that!). if you express a differing, respectful opinion from what they have heard and they are willing to listen, i can work with that.

extended family stuff is truly weird though. holidays are a big thing for my dh's family, and it looks like this season there is a rift that will continue over here.

i scrubbed my front porch and started putting up decorations since most of the town seems kind of lacking in it and it seems a bummer. i debate the holiday thing every year. i realized yesterday that as a homeschooler, and in these times, i could probably not follow any general traditions and my kids be fine with it ultimately. i wasn't raised with any religion and have no affiliations. my dh was raised catholic but quit that since a teenager. i have felt deprived my entire childhood lacking presents or any ritual or parties for the winter holiday. so i believe in the ritual of something. and i'm a sucker for the idea of making a tree pretty. and the lights make me feel softer.

i have been working on a photo book so i guess if i find a place to put it i'll let y'all know.

[punkprincessmama]

we have all been quite sick here. yuck. The good thing though is that it has really motivated dh and I to start taking better care of ourselves and eachother.

[majazama]

We're getting lost here, aaaaaaaaaaah!!!

So I thought I'd revive us.

Punk~ sucks being sick. Hope you feel better soon. Really. Here's some healing fairy dust for you

Hows everyone else, enjoying the holidays? Making/buying x-mas presents?

[punkprincessmama]

Thanks for the dust Jaz

It's nice having you around more again I miss you when you are back home in the woods. I think about you and your girls a lot actually. Dh and I would love to find a place like that to raise our girls.

I need to get a booster seat for Mariah. Her head is only an inch from the top of the Alpha Omega she is in right now. I'd love some suggestions from you mamas.

Hope you are all staying warm and enjoying the season. We aren't doing gifts this year for a myriad of reasons. Well, we are giving a few home made gifts - beeswax candles and such. We aren't buying gifts though. I really want to do something for solstice, but I'm not sure what yet.

[abranger]

Punk-

Regarding the booster just MAKE SURE that you get one with a five pont harness. There are some that start out as a 5 point harness then convert later to a belt positioning booster. That might be a good economincal choice for you

Amy

[Mona]

hey mamas!
long time no post for me... /hide
haven't been visiting parenting boards at all for the past months, but wanted to check in here and say hi.
sounds like everyone is doing pretty good.

dd's bday is coming up and she is uber excited. she loves loves loves birthdays, and of course loves the idea of having a party for herself.

our biggest "thing" right now is weaning. i decided to day wean her, since she is still very dependent on nursing for sleeps and i didn't want to mess that up any more then it already is (she still is not the best sleeper.)
so she can nurse at night time and at night, but not during the day unless she gets a big ouchie or something.
needless to say it is not going well, and it is affecting her nighttime sleep tremendously. as in she nurses a lot at night and is sleeping less.
it is also making her less confident i think, tho i can't quite tell.
she wants munyas throughtout the day, and sometimes gets so upset.
i have given in for quickees, and she is relieved and satisfied w/ even 5 sec on both sides. i guess it is a control thing. which i totally understand.

anyway, we are having a really ruff time w/ it. i hope i can stick w/ it, cause it's driving both of us nutso. i'm not sure how long it is supposed to take b4 she stops constantly asking. or how i supposd to know if she is simply not ready to wean at this time. sigh/cry

any hints or suggestions would be welcome. :P



:P lisa

[eilonwy]

Mona-- BeanBean is taking a temporary break from nursing right now. I've told him that my milk will come back after the baby is born, and that when it does he'll be able to nurse as much as he wants to but right now it is too painful and there's no milk anyway, so why bother? Once a week or so, he asks me if the baby is ready to come out yet and if there really isn't another way to get some more milk into my nursies (I think he wants me to pour it in?!); when I tell him no he sighs and talks about the baby and milk for a while and then drops the subject. I'm not sure if he'll actually want to nurse anymore when the milk comes back (I'm not due until mid-April) but if he does, I'll be okay with it.

My BooBah is totally weaned, and shows no interest in nursing anymore at all. I don't think it was because my supply disappeared; she's developed lactose intolerance and I think it was just her time. It's very strange to me, thinking about potentially nursing a 3.5 year old and a new baby, but not the 22 month old in between them...

[majazama]

mona~ I totally know how that can be It sucks, big time. You just have to stick with it I think it's more hard on the kids when you waver from your original "stand". I weaned haeven from about 2 to 2 1/2, and it was way too long, I think. I did notice a lessening of her self-confidence but she's totally ok with it now. I definately had to listen to her crying/whining/etc. numerous times before she finally forgot about it.

I'd try to distract her, if that is possible (sure wasn't in Haeven's case), or as my mom suggested, give her an alternative, like soy/rice/goat/almond/oat/cow or whatever kind of milk you give her (in a bottle, or sippy-cup with a flexible spout) It seemed to work sometimes (the milk idea). Or else get you DP to take over when she's freaking out. I don't know how your family works, but sometimes papa can get the kid calmed down and divert their attention. Also, tell her that you love her, and give her lots of hugs, so she doen't think that mommy doesn't want her anymore (or whatever a 3 year old would think... hugs are always good)Well, that's all I got. HTH!

[MamaFern]

for those of you having weaning woes. rynna sorry to hear bout your weaned nursling. id be sad too.. how are you feeling otherwise? hows the babe? i almost miss being pregnant but not quite 2 weeks past due was way too long!

i so so wish elwynn WOULD nurse again! i have so much milk and ngaio sleeps a lot ( only wakes once in the night to nurse) and my boobs ache! elwynn will have no part of it but i do hand express some and put it in a cup mixed with other milk so he gets some of the good stuff
i did come to a point nursing him that i really wanted him to ween though and i think if i didnt have so much milk i wouldnt care if he did either way. but its so good for them..ngaio likes it though! i hope she nurses for a long time.

[eilonwy]

Being pregnant is all right... the baby is moving a lot now. I've got an ultrasound on the 19th, during which I will hopefully be told that everything is absolutely wonderful and I don't have to have any more ultrasounds during the pregnancy.

I'm tired and miserable otherwise, though. This time of year really blows for me in general. I'm trying to scrape myself together, but it's just not happening...

[DecemberSun]

Nice to hear from you Mona!

I remember when I was trying to get Zach to cut down on the nursing. He wasn't sleeping good at all, waking every hour or so kicking and wanting to nurse and then pushing me away. I nightweaned him first, and then he just quit one day. I'd tell him he could have tickles and kisses, but no "bobby". He didn't like it at first, but it really didn't take long for him to realize that he didn't *need* it, he just *wanted* it. That's really all it took for him to wean. It took about 3 days of him asking before he 'got it'. After he figured out that he could live without the bobby he turned into a complete Daddy's boy. I was actually very proud of him, and glad that he had nursed for so long...

Luckily I didn't notice any traumas incurred from weaning. He actually seemed more outgoing and independent because he didn't have to be near the bobbies every living second. He spent a lot more time with Dad, which has been really great for both of them. And of course we all sleep much better now that Zach isn't waking us up every hour! Hang in there, Lisa, and go with your heart on this one. If you are ready and you think Kathrynn can handle it, then stick with it. But if it's too hard on both of you and you really don't think your DD is ready then you can just cut back the nursing instead of getting rid of it completely. Zachary still nurses for a few seconds here and there every few days. DH thinks he's "too old" for it, but Zachary says "No, Mama, I not a big boy, I a baby, I need the bobby."

Rynna, I was wondering if you were going to nurse all three... You take care of yourself, Mama. Get plenty of rest and good food for the new Bean.

Have any of your DCs, ahem, LIED to you yet? Zachary just lied to me for the first time. We have some bubble gum on the kitchen counter and I caught Zachary scooting his stepstool up to the counter to get some. I told him "No more gum today, you can have some tomorrow." And he shouts back "I not gettin gum, I just gettin an apple!" (Our fruit bowl is right next to the candy bowl... : ) But of course I knew he was going for the gum- we're out of apples! So, for him to make up a little story to lie to me... It was pretty creative! I wasn't sure how to respond, so I just repeated what I had already said and he eventually got down and told me I was a bad mama. Both J and Z have "lied" to me before about things they've done/didn't do (ex: "Who made this mess?", J shouts "Zach did!" when I know she did it...), but I didn't think anything of it because it's a little different than actual LYING where you make up a whole story. Anyway, I guess this is a milestone I should write down in the baby book?

[MamaFern]

leah, elwynn hasn't "lied" per say..but he tries to sneek stuff.. he always says what he was really doing if i ask .. he hasn't figured out about not telling the truth yet. this morning he came and quietly closed the bedroom door then i heard a rustle rustle in the living room.. i went to investigate and he had a party bag from an event he went to the day before ( it had chocolate and candy canes in it) and i had forgotten to put it away and he was busily trying to unwrap one of the chocolates. i told him that sneeking stuff really isn't the best way to get what you want but i know its pretty normal at 3! i didnt plan on letting him eat that crap but i didnt get rid of it either so i figure its more my fault( for lack of a better word.. my brain is mush tonight) for not putting it out of sight.

[Mona]

thanks for the advice and hugs mamas!
i will post more later about our progress or lack of :LOL

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by DecemberSun

Have any of your DCs, ahem, LIED to you yet? Zachary just lied to me for the first time. We have some bubble gum on the kitchen counter and I caught Zachary scooting his stepstool up to the counter to get some. I told him "No more gum today, you can have some tomorrow." And he shouts back "I not gettin gum, I just gettin an apple!" (Our fruit bowl is right next to the candy bowl... : ) But of course I knew he was going for the gum- we're out of apples! So, for him to make up a little story to lie to me... It was pretty creative! I wasn't sure how to respond, so I just repeated what I had already said and he eventually got down and told me I was a bad mama. Both J and Z have "lied" to me before about things they've done/didn't do (ex: "Who made this mess?", J shouts "Zach did!" when I know she did it...), but I didn't think anything of it because it's a little different than actual LYING where you make up a whole story. Anyway, I guess this is a milestone I should write down in the baby book?

We actually had a discussion with BeanBean about lies vs. stories more than six months ago now. What happened was this: when he wanted to nurse, or to have some medicine (God help me, but BeanBean *loves* taking medicine of any sort ) he would say that he was sick. "You have to nurse me right now, I'm sick, mamma!" in his absolute whiniest voice. This would irritate me and drive me crazy, but I was seriously anemic and short-tempered at the time, so Mike sat him down one afternoon and had a long, serious discussion with him about lying. After that, he would say that he was sad when he wanted to nurse, rather than sick. He did understand it, though, and we haven't had a problem since. If he says something that is blatantly false, I'll ask, "BeanBean, is that true?" and he'll say, "Nah, I made it up." He loves telling stories and pretending, but he'll always clarify that he is pretending if he thinks that you believe him, so he's not trying to lead anyone on. I don't expect it to necessarily last for the rest of his life, but for now, all is well.

You should know, though, that lying is actually considered "a good thing" in our society, that children who are most likely to be fingered by other children and by adults as "leaders" and "confident" and such are also the children most likely to be able to tell a convincing lie. They did this really odd test where they gave a bunch of 4-6 year old kids Kool-Aid made with salt instead of sugar and asked them to tell the person in the room that the Kool-Aid tasted good, and said that the kids who could look you in the eye and smile and tell you that it was were inevitably the ones who were considered to have the greatest leadership abilities. I could totally see BeanBean doing it, and even taking another sip.

[DecemberSun]

OMG...
DH just heated up some leftover lasagna for lunch and Zachary comes up to me shouting "Mommy, I LOVE to eat vee-gina!!!" : : :
I told him "No, honey, it's not 'vagina' it's LASAGNA!"

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by DecemberSun

OMG...
DH just heated up some leftover lasagna for lunch and Zachary comes up to me shouting "Mommy, I LOVE to eat vee-gina!!!" : : :
I told him "No, honey, it's not 'vagina' it's LASAGNA!"

: : Now that's one for the baby book! :

[DecemberSun]

Yep, that's my little pride and joy!!!

[tea olive]

hello! my three have a cold, plus dh.
all that talk about nursing and weaning, and i notice that i'm a bit big right now. i'm at a point where there is only one definite nursing for either kid, which is before bed. a few months back i started sleeping at their feet. i guess i've been not so consciously weaning. but then i don't sit down casually much either. that's when they get me.

haha, i am a terrible liar, and i have terrible leadership abilities. my kids all lie better than me, though i know it when it is happenning so i guess i just see it as an experiment verbally and socially. reed asked me at this age, what is the difference between lying and a telling a good story? i never really got too far after that. i guess my "rules" express something relating to causing harm. is it actually lying if you know they are doing it right there? (and they know you know?)or just a big funny?