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One of those days.

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
I hate them. They sneak up on you and they make you miserable. You don't really know what it is until you see a baby...and then you want to cry. Or a pg woman...and then you feel depressed.

Having one of those days. A day waiting for O. Waiting for anything that I can do to get pg. Becuase right now - it is out of my hands.....there is nothing I can control, nothing I can change. No step I can take to make it happen. It is up to the will of whatever deity is running this freak show I call life.

And then on the flip side, you feel like there must be a reason that you aren't getting pregnant. So while you want a baby - maybe you shouldn't have one? Maybe there is some inadequacy that you don't know about....that if you could fix the babe would decide that you are to be its parent. That if resolved would mean nothing but sunshine and flowers and a baby shower. That if you were just worthy enough, you too would be chasing a little one around the park.

One of those days.
post #2 of 13
Oh Adina, I hear you. I am there myself.

Hugs to you and hoping for a brighter day tomorrow.
post #3 of 13
I've been there too!
Hey there,

I refer to "this continuing sitcom I call my life."

Sometimes it is really good to just say, "This really sucks and is unfair!" Then go to bed and cry for an hour, go for a walk in the woods, on a beach, in a park and cry and shout! Get a pen and a piece of paper and write it all out.

Then splash some cold water on your face and fine something fun/decadent to do.

Hang in there, Sisterfriend.

Love Anne!

As my mother always said, "This too shall pass."
post #4 of 13
I know exactly what you mean!
post #5 of 13
Thread Starter 
I feel a bit better now. I spent the day in my footie jammies watching the boob tube. But I sort of needed to get that out. And I figured that you guys would understand.
much love
post #6 of 13
I'm a little late here, Adina, but I know *exactly* how you feel. I've been struggling a lot lately with the "unworthy" feelings, especially since I just found out that a woman I know who is really messed up emotionally and psychologically just found out she's pg. Makes life seem very unfair, makes me wonder why I don't deserve the joy that this woman now has.

But, I'm hanging in there. I don't know what the big plan is for me. I don't know why I am having to struggle at ttc more than a lot of other people, but I also know that there are others who have struggled far more than I will. It's not much consolation at times. That's why I come here. There is always someone who will help lift my spirits, and regain hope. You came to the right place. I'm glad to hear that you're doing better today.

post #7 of 13

I am glad that you are feeling a little better.
post #8 of 13
I know just what you mean!!

This morning I was thinking about my grandmother, who was married >11 years before having her first child. We had assumed that they waited because they were so poor during the Depression, but after she died we read her diaries and learned that she had a progesterone deficiency, and it wasn't until it was finally diagnosed and treated w/supplements that she was able to have my father. Those diaries are filled with yearnings for a child, with hopes building up and getting dashed again and again, because her only means of detecting pregnancy was a late period, and that happened fairly often. The one entry I'm particularly thinking of said something like, "Well, our plans for an heir are all off now. I should have known it could never happen. Someone like me doesn't deserve to be a mother." But it did happen for her, and it will for me and you too!
post #9 of 13
((((BIG HUGS)))) There's really nothing I can add to what everyone else has already said. We all have those days, and we all know exactly how you feel!
post #10 of 13
Thread Starter 
Well I just got home from babysitting my friends two kids. a 17 month old and a 4 year old. oh lordy. I have been babysitting these two since they were born practically....and I love them to death. BUt boy am I tired. They are off of day care until wednesday and they are thrilled that they have an adult paying attention to them. I am exhausted.

But I got a bit of a baby fix and am ready to go - now only if I would ovulate already!

Thanks ladies!
post #11 of 13
Just wanted to say "I know how you all feel". Oh the baby fever!!

Hugs and happy thoughts everyone!
post #12 of 13
I know how you feel, I have a friend pregnant with number 2 the babies will only be 17 months apart, it's just not fair sometimes
post #13 of 13
I've been feeling it too...I watched a movie last night, and yes I get it IS a movie, but she got pg after one night, condoms and all. I kept thinking, it seems so easy. What's wrong with me? It will happen soon, I can feel it.
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