Your First Purchases

[lotus.blossom]

Since this is my first pregnancy I have a million things swirling around in my head to buy and I know that I need to take a moment to slow down and relax because I have another 8 months to buy things for the baby.

I think the first thing I am getting is a bellaband because I plan to wear as many non maternity clothes as possible for as long as possible. And it seems like the bellaband would give nice support to the growing belly.

The second thing I'm obsessed over is cloth diapers of course. I'm formulating my stash in my head (and stalking a kissaluvs auction on ebay that ends in a few hours)

What are you thinking of purchasing? Or for those who've done this before what is worth it and what is a waste of money?

[~pi]

That bellaband is such a great idea! Heck, I could use that during non-pg time since my weight tends to fluctuate throughout the month. Sometimes my favourite pants and skirts are just falling off and other times, I feel like they would be more comfortable unbuttoned!

As for other buying plans, we're on a tight budget since I'm a student and DH is currently in between contracts. (He was supposed to have a permanent position, but his director couldn't convince HR that they needed him to stay. I hate head count. Grr.) So we are collecting hand-me-downs but not buying anything yet.

We do plan to CD and have found a place in town that sells the basics for reasonable prices and I'll also look for used stuff online. I've been meaning to learn to knit for years so I think this may just be the impetus I need to start making things like a couple of wool covers!

I'm also planning to sew myself some maternity tops and maybe a skirt over the next couple of months. I'm looking for sling patterns.

[lotus.blossom]

I hear you on the budget! We're good for now, but I'm on unemployment and when that runs out in February it may be a bit tight, especially since we're going to have to pay quite a bit for me to be on dh's insurance......

Anyway, I recently knit a wool soaker from this pattern and it turned out well. I'm an advanced beginner. Goodluck learning to knit! It can be expensive gathering the materials but in the long run I'm sure it will save money.

I just inherited a sewing machine and I'm a novice at that but I'm looking forward to making myself some nice little elastic A line skirts for spring! My cousin sews and she is making me a babywrap, similar to the hug-a-bub.

[desireeb]

If I have any advice for new moms it's this: buy only what you absolutely need (or think you will need for the baby). Mine was the first grandchild in the family so we had numerous showers and got tons of stuff which was nice at the time, but a lot of it ended up collecting dust in our attic, unused! Those big box stores will try and tell you to add tons of stuff to your registry, but if I had it to do over again, I would have gone on a buy as you need basis.
For example, we have a pack and play which, since I don't buy into CIO, my DD never used. We also have a swing that she didn't like, a bouncy chair that was hardly used, etc. We also didn't use some of the newborn clothes that people had given us simply because they were too small for her. She wasn't an unusually large baby either, just 8.11lbs.
I am glad that we held off on buying a crib. We decided that we'd see if we actually needed one and, turns out that we didn't. Instead, we're going to just get her a twin when she's ready to sleep on her own.
A book that I have found VERY helpful in researching car seats, strollers, toys, etc. is called Baby Bargains. Here's a link to a copy of it on amazon: click here
Most of all, good luck and have fun shopping!

[UnskulinMama]

Where to start! :)

"What are you thinking of purchasing? Or for those who've done this before what is worth it and what is a waste of money?"

These are all personal opinions of course, can't wait to read others answers

Waste of money - A crib. (Invest in a bigger bed if you want to spend the money, or if someone gives you a used one, side-car it for more baby space!)

"Breastfeeding clothes". They're generally more inconvenient than just pulling up a shirt, and by the time I got done nursing... heck, I was *so* over being ashamed of my breasts! When I nurse in public, sure a bit of skin *might* show (usually not anyway)... I might offend some adults, who cares? But I might help younger kids/teen learn to see breastfeeding as normal, and I think that's worth it

Worth it - A *good* sling, or two! I liked MayaWrap-style ring slings when DS was under a year (easy on/off/nursing), but appreciated two-shoulder front/back carries when he got heavier. For this a wrap is great (made my own with $2 per yard walmart cotton gauze), as well are soft asian-style baby carriers, also known as Mei Tais (they're sort of like those big hiking backpacks you see, minus all the metal!). There's all sorts of WAHM-made ones out there, but if you like to sew, I'd encourage you to try your hand at it! (Oh, and some folks like the Ergo carrier, but I don't find it as flexible).

Good cloth diapers. Again, I like to sew, so I really need to get my butt in gear and start working on my stash. By the way, I didn't know how to sew before I started cloth diapering... I got a good pattern (Honeyboy, I think? Are they still selling it?) and taught myself to sew by making fitted diapers.

Anyway, I guess what I'm doing this time around is ask myself a couple of questions each time I get the urge to buy baby stuff... Do I really *need* it? Do I just *want* it? Can I get it hand-me-down? Is it worth spending X amount of money on? Can I make it myself?

[CaraboosMama]

Great advise unskulinmama! Crib is a definite waste - although the portable crib we recieved as a gift had a bassinet insert - we used it as a sidecar/for when we needed some "mommy daddy alone time"

diapers, a sling, and a comfortable nursing spot at home seems like plenty. I liked my Boppy pillow, but once dd coould sit up it was unnecessary. Same with nursing clothes - including nursing bras after the first few months. I just pull my bra out of the way.

[lotus.blossom]

Thank you ladies for the wonderful advice!
One of this things I'm worried about is the baby showers. Because I am into alternative parenting and no one is really understanding of that I am afraid that I will get far to many frilly, plastic, unnecessary things for baby! I'm going to be a real hag and only sign up for the big ticket items (like a breast pump, and carseat, jogging stroller) at babies r us and then email people links from WAHM sites to buy me stuff from. I hate to see people wasting their money on things I will not use!

We're not doing a nursery because we will possibly move shortly after I give birth. I've already decided on the amby swing. Not even thinking about a crib! Hubby might take some convincing. He doesn't think they look comfortable.

Hubby and I are minimalists and we resent clutter and junk. Our house is very streamlined and neat so we do not want to have tons of useless stuff hanging around. I think people buy into way too much stuff for their babies! I go for quality over quantity.

[~pi]

Thanks for the advice from BTDT mamas!

April, thanks for the link to the pattern. As for baby showers, I just figured I would do the same as I do with other gift-giving occasions: give a list/registry to those who ask, and otherwise, give thanks for what I get, appreciate the thought, and if it isn't something I think I'll use, return it/donate it. We're anti-clutter, too. Well, DH is, anyway. I am a total packrat but I love having the house clean so I'm coming around to his philosophy that it's easier to keep it clean when there's less stuff.

[SoCalGirl]

Ok, I'm also new to the whole pregnancy thing, and I have to ask, what do you use for a sleeping baby if you don't have a crib? Am I missing something?

[desireeb]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

Ok, I'm also new to the whole pregnancy thing, and I have to ask, what do you use for a sleeping baby if you don't have a crib? Am I missing something?

For the first few months when she was napping, we used a co-sleeper (or sidecar) or a sling. Otherwise, she's always slept in our bed with us.

I also remembered something that was a lifesaver for the first 6 months - my Lilypadz It was the only way I could sleep without a bra!

[paisley]

That bellaband looks pretty cool. There is also The Belly Hugger. It's designed for nursing but they say you can use it like the bellaband too, and it is way cheaper.

With regard to the pp's note about BF clothes, I found that with ds I really wanted the coverage of a nursing shirt. Stretch marks, gained 70lbs , you know. Didn't want to subject anyone to seeing all that! Nursing clothes are very pricey. This time around I plan to get a few Belly Huggers and maybe some Glamourmom tanks to layer under my regular shirts. You might want to look at nursing clothes if you need dresses though because it can be impossible to nurse in regular dresses.

ITA w/ the crib being a waste of money. We got a secondhand one because I thought that's what you did with kids but we never used it. We started out co-sleeping and it just never felt right to have my baby sleeping anywhere but right next to me. SoCalGirl, there's a Family Bed forum here if you want to check it out some more.

As far as my first purchases - I had a small diaper obsession while we were waiting to TTC. So my kid has a nice number of NB and Sm diapers & covers already.

[UnskulinMama]

Oops, yeah, about the nursing clothes... Paisley's right, I'm sure it's different for everyone. I tended to wear baggier clothes anyway, so I just never had a problem with showing much. Guess I mentioned it because, like you said, nursing clothes can be pricey. (Especially nice ones... I admit, those glamourmom tanks are tempting!) Better to buy a few things and see if you like/need them first...

[paisley]

I think there is a co-op going on for Glamourmom tanks on some yahoo group right now. Ummm... here it is: http://finance.groups.yahoo.com/grou...guid=194194304

[Jade2561]

You need a sling. They are awesome! Second, a diaper stash. For newborns that grow so quick I would go with prefolds since they are inexpensive and then switch to a onesize diaper so that it's a one time purchase. I would not buy a whole stash of diapers with out trying them first and reading reviews because you never know what will work for your family. Also lots of nursing supplies. Breast pads, good bras, a huge water bottle. I think a rocking chair is a must!

Items that are a waste - cribs. Unless you need a place to hold laundry. Swings and play yards I would pass on as well. They are pricey and chances are baby won;t be in them alot. I never brought nursing clothes, I just covered my belly with a recieving blanket if it showed. Also I think regular pillows are just as good as Boppys so I would pass on that as well.

Babies need few things. A set of loving arms, milky breasts and lots of love and kisses!

[SoCalGirl]

Originally Posted by desireeb

For the first few months when she was napping, we used a co-sleeper (or sidecar) or a sling. Otherwise, she's always slept in our bed with us.

I guess I don't know what a co-sleeper/sidecar thing is. I like the idea of the baby sleeping with me at night, but from what I have heard, it seems like babies sleep a LOT and I sure don't intend to sleep every single time my baby does, and putting a baby in my bed by himself doesn't quite seem right. So I sort of assumed a crib was necessary. I will read up on these co-sleeper/sidecar things...

[PancakeGoddess]

hi mama - putting baby in a bed by himself is ok For the first several months, they will sleep so heavily they can be put anywhere! On a chair, in their baby seat, or probably their favorite place - in your arms! You can wear your baby on your front or back and go about your life.

There's no sin in a crib, but it is a big waste of space I think. If you really want to put baby in a contained space sometimes, maybe once s/he learns to crawl, get a porta-crib for naps or something?

[1stTimeMummytoLore]

when our DD was little, we would just spread out a blanket on the floor and let her nap within sight of wherever we were, unless of course she was sleeping in th sling.

in the first 6-8 weeks, you really should be sleeping whenever they sleep as much as possible (less possible with multiple kids in the house) to let your body adjust and recouperate. this is much harder than it sounds, but important to let the house cleaning go to ensure a faster recovery and head off any possibility of postpartum depression. so if you can do that, the two of you can snuggle up together just about anywhere you'll fit.

i also loved that book Baby Bargains. helped us get a great deal on a car seat (another must have). about car seats, IMHO you don't need an infant seat. esp. if you plan on carrying you baby in a sling. why haul around an extra awkward ten pounds. just pop them in the sling and go. that way you can buy a convertable car seat and it can last you YEARS. my DD can still ride in the same car seat she rode home from the hospital in!

kate

[lotus.blossom]

Hmmm...... the carseat is the one that I am debating heavily.
I'm not impressed with the way most parents misuse baby buckets, however I have heard the arguement that it is easier with an infant, especially in the winter, to be able to buckle them in the seat in the house and then just snap it in the car. Since I'm due in July, my babe will be 4 months old by the time we have to worry about cold weather. How soon do most infants outgrow infant seats? The other thing, is that it would be nice to have 2 bases- one for my car and one for dh's to just snap the seat into. It would be pretty expensive to have 2 britax seats right away. I have an older car, and his is brand new with the latch system. We mostly use his car but I use mine for little errands.

[UnskulinMama]

Hmm... I'm debating the infant carseat thing as well. My son was an October baby, so I definitely appreciated being able to get him into the car seat *before* going out into below-zero tempuratures. We also were given one of those infant carseat covers where only the head shows through... (Like this...) We'd tuck a few blankets inside of that and not have to worry about getting bulky winter clothing on a tiny babe...

It's also nice not having to wake up a sleeping baby when you arrive back home... bring the seat inside and let them sleep another hour or whatever... But DS was always a light sleeper and would wake up if you looked at him wrong, so maybe other babies stay asleep? :P

So I'm back and forth on this as well... I'm trying to remember when DS outgrew his infant seat... Four or five months maybe?

Although I do agree that seeing alert, awake babies being lugged all over the place in those things is annoying :P

[sewaneecook]

This is a great thread!! I've just started thinking about everything we'll be needing too. DH and I plan on co-sleeping and using CD, but the in-laws are all about buying extra stuff (and lots of it!).

One of this things I'm worried about is the baby showers. Because I am into alternative parenting and no one is really understanding of that I am afraid that I will get far to many frilly, plastic, unnecessary things for baby! I'm going to be a real hag and only sign up for the big ticket items (like a breast pump, and carseat, jogging stroller) at babies r us and then email people links from WAHM sites to buy me stuff from. I hate to see people wasting their money on things I will not use!

lotus.blossom, sounds like you and I have a lot more in common that being massage therapists PG with our first!

Hopefully I'll be able to convey my concerns to my in-laws (my side of the family is all about extended BFing, CD, co-sleeping, etc. so I'm not too worried about getting things I won't use from them).