Dogs dying -- old dog home or the truth? - Page 2

[shanagirl]

The truth, always. There are ways to present it so it is not so shocking. I would tell my child in this situation that when animals live in the wild, and they get older, they die when they become weak because they cannot survive bad weather and they can'tdefend themselves and they can't catch their food on their own. That is sad but it is part of life everyday in the wild. When we bring animals into our homes and our families, we are able to help them have longer lives because we give them their food and we keep them warm and dry and don't let them get hurt. But they still get old and their bodies get tired and one day their bodies are very tired and want to stop having to work so hard. A doctor can give them medicine (not 'put them to sleep') to gently slow down everything inside their body until it stops having to work so hard, so that they don't feel any pain and can just close their eyes and let go. We can be happy that they were part of our family and shared a wonderful life with us and we can help them let go when they are ready, without pain.

[lauraess]

Shanagirl, I did not yet read the entire thread. I only checked it out since we are facing 'letting our dog go" most likely asap. Today I had to tell my kids and reading what you just read is inspiring and helpful to me.
Thanks
L

[Charles Baudelaire]

I think it's almost never a good idea to lie to your child about anything, really. It will come back to bite you on the butt and in the end, you'll be left with a truth and the betrayal of a lie. If you tell the truth, in the end, you'll be left with only the truth. No betrayal.

Just my opinion. When our ferret died, I debated about what to tell my then-2yo dd. In the end, I showed her the ferret, let her touch her, explained what had happened and what would happen to her when we cremated her, and in short, was frank about what had happened. So far, anyway, I'm glad I made that decision.

Originally Posted by inezyv

Lie or tell the truth to my dd -- thats the question. Please help me.

My husband and I used to do dog rescue, mostly older adult mixed breed dogs with the exception of one mixed breed puppy who was badly injured by a car. We still have four geriatric mixed breed dogs left from our dog rescue days. The puppy is now almost nine years old. The others were rescued when they were adults, but they are at least twelve to fifteen years old, based on vet estimates.

Sadly, the inevitable is starting to happen -- these elderly dogs are starting to get so old that we think it is time to euthanize at least one of them -- my daughters' favorite dog who the vet estimated to be at least fifteen years old (she's a very small dog, and they live longer in general) .

I think there is a second dog who should also be euthanized because she estimated to be 12 years old and has a tumor growing out of her mouth that is the size of a baseball, but my dh disagrees. This dog is my husband's favorite dog, the best dog ever, and I think he just can't bear to let go of her yet. I feel that she is suffering and that it would be kinder to let her go peacefully. She is so old and fragile that surgery is out of the question.

Here is the question: my four year old daughter came up with an idea on her own which sounds like a graceful but dishonest solution -- sending the dogs together to the "old dogs home." That way, she said, her favorite dog would get good care and would be with her very best friend dog so she would not be scared. I am very tempted to go along with this fiction for two reasons: 1) dd would then believe that her favorite dog was still alive; and 2) both dogs could then have some peace from their pain.

However, I have since done some research and I fear that this lie may make things easier at first, her sense of betrayal and horror would make it so that she could never trust me again. Part of my concern is that the dog with the tumor in her mouth will probably be euthanized in a matter of weeks or months (as soon as my dh can get closure in his own mind), so it would be a pretty hard double blow to have two dog deaths that close together.

I admit that I told my daughter that our elderly toy poodle went to the old dogs home soon after she was born (we euthanized the poodle when our dd was about four months old). : I know this was wrong, but she was only about 25 months old and was asking about the toy poodle in all of her newborn pictures, and I didn't think she could understand so I told her the dog went went to the old dogs home. From time to time after that she mentioned the old dogs home and I told her the poodle was doing fine and was very happy there. :

My second dd is 25 months old. She is attached to the 15 year old dog, too. The girls adore this old dog, who is gentle and sweet and loves to go on walks with each girl holding one leash.

What do you think? Old dog home for both dogs or having two beloved dogs die within weeks of each other?

Thank you.

[Girl In The Fire]

Definitely dont lie, even as young as they are they will probaly remember it for quite sometime. In the spring we had to put one of our dogs down, he older and had some serious health issues and it was a quality of life vs, quantity of life decision. We brought dd with (almost 4yo at the time) to be there since she was very attached to him and we felt this was something we all should be there for. We explained in very simple terms that Sir was sick and wasnt going to get any better and sometimes vets needed to help them go to heaven (or whatever). She did very well and got to give him a last hug and kiss. She still talks about him once a week or so, we talk about how we miss him and how he is in a better place now, and sometimes look at pictures of him. For her I think it would have been alot harder on her if he just "disappeared" one day.

[frogger]

One of our dogs just died. He was very old. I could see it coming. DS kept asking why Bo was acting differently than normal. I just told him that was because he was old and was sick. When the day finally came that he was no long with us. I told ds that Bo's spirit went to live up in the sky with the rainbows. My smarty pants ds asked about his body and bones and where that went to. Boy I wasn't prepared. But I told him the truth that his body was buried in the ground. DS wanted to know if Bo was still sick and I get to tell him no that he's not anymore and that he's much happier

I'm happy that we told him the truth.