heartbroken

[~pi]

Hi, mamas.

I posted here already about how I was concerned about finding a midwife because I'm type 1 diabetic and automatically high risk. I can, however, have a relatively normal pregnancy; I'm really on top of my blood sugars, use an insulin pump which allows more flexible delivery, I've had type 1 since I was 7 years old so it's extremely normal for me, etc. I would be seeing my diabetic care team anyway to deal with diabetic issues and I would be happy to see a peri from time to time to make sure there is nothing to be concerned about.

However, neither of the midwives' groups I have contacted will take me, and I'm just heartbroken. I thought I was compromising enough by accepting that it's too risky for me to have a HB, but now I have to go full-on medical style. And I know that with some hunting, I can find an OB/peri who will support a natural birth, but I'm really upset that I have to go through that and that I can't just get a midwife to take me.



(And I feel badly about this, but I'm really jealous of all of you who are planning a HB.)

[paisley]

I'm so sorry Maria. I was really hoping that second group would come around for you.

[MrsHenderson]

I'm sorry you're not getting an HB like you want, but it won't make you any less of a mom to have your baby in a hospital. Just make sure you put together your birth plan and make sure everyone know what you want. Congrats on being PG!

[mamatoady]

that must be really hard for you

are you sure you've exhausted your resourses? maybe ask those midwives who turned you down for referrels. I've heard of women giving birth a couple hours away in hotel rooms in order to get a good midwife. also ask at la leche league mtgs. and check on-line with midwifery today. if all else fails and you are going to be in the hospital, claim what is yours! that can't MAKE you do something to your body that you don't concent to. Get a really knowledgeable and experienced doula. i don't know what your hospital is like, but ours were private rooms w/bath and looked kind of like a hotel room(until they pulled out all their gadgets and gismos from the hidden trap doors) but anyway, bring a small radio and play calming music, bring essential oils and a diffuser...if they won't let you,then mix some calming oils with a carrier oil and put it on your wrists so you can smell it when you need to. there's a lot you can do to take charge of your birth, even if it's in a hospital. and remember, even at home there can be suprises and things that might go wrong. and also remember and remind yourself that once that baby is born, your location will be obsolete and you and baby can nurse and drift away to the most peaceful sleep you will have ever known. peace.
sarah

[HaveWool~Will Felt]

Maria,
I really encourage you to soend sometime within. I have doula'ed for a few type 1 mama's before....two birthed in a hosital and one is a water birth center.
If you do have to be in a hospital....that doesn't mean you can't have a natural, mostly hands off birth.
Not sure waht you have read...so I am not assuming you haven't already read everything out there....but also talk with these other mw you did call....I agree with asking them for referrals. I would also pick their brains some. Ask them what their suggestions are. I know where I live....you still can use a CNM at a hospital being type 1....

I am sorry that you are so devastated!!! I would be too!!! Please know that we care...we are here....reading, listening and feeling right along with you.


Hugs Mama!!!

[desireeb]

Maria,
My husband and I had planned for a homebirth with my DD and, due to stalling labor, I ended up in the hospital after about 36 hours at home. Both of our lay midwives came to the hopital with us and acted as our birth advocates while we were going through the labor and delivery. You have a great advantage over us. We didn't have an OB at the hospital, so we were just given one (who ended up giving me antibiotics and an episiotomy). You have the opportunity to find an OB who is open to the kind of birth that you want. You'll have 9 months to work with him or her to create the kind of atmosphere in which you want to bring your baby into the world. Your baby won't know whether he or she is in their home or in the hospital. All they'll know is that they are being held in the hands of parents who have loved them since conception. As long as you protect them from intervention and have your plans set out, your birth can be as wonderful as you imagined.

If you have trouble finding an OB that's open to your wishes, keep looking. For us, I was truly glad that we had our midwives acting as our health advocates during the L/D. Neither my DH or I had to worry about working with the nurses to make sure that they didn't give myself or my DD any needless drugs or treatments. If you can find someone to be your birth advocate, who won't get in they way but knows your birth plan and your wishes, I think it may relieve a lot of stress during the L/D process.

Best of luck planning a wonderful birth!

[lotus.blossom]

I really hope that you can find a wonderful respectful OB who will be on board with your desires!

[~pi]

Thank you all for your support.

Update: Through posting on MDC, I actually found a MW who is 30 minutes from me and whose practice has handled type 1 women before. They had an OB as the primary HCP, the MWs provided supportive care and they split the fee. So I am cautiously excited that I may be able to work with a MW after all.

[ma_Donna]

There are certainly some great OB's out there, but unfortunately they can be hard to find. We have an OB here that oversaw my midwive's practice & I saw her for a D&E after my m/c.

Her license was actually pulled by the state's medical board for not performing ENOUGH c-sections! That nightmare is over and her license has been restored.

I think that you're in good hands with an OB that practices with midwives.

Another suggestion was made by my natrualpathic dr. Her first birth was an emergency c-section (footling breech) and second a home water birth with a midwife friend she flew in from Canada! She said your choice of providers has a lot to do with how your birth will go as certified midwives have certain guidelines to follow (think insurability) and have their hands tied for certain things - I definitely saw this with Noah's birth. She recommended we look into a lay midwife that delivers at a birthing center.

I guess I have to figure this out soon!

[paisley]

Originally Posted by ~pi

Update: Through posting on MDC, I actually found a MW who is 30 minutes from me and whose practice has handled type 1 women before. They had an OB as the primary HCP, the MWs provided supportive care and they split the fee. So I am cautiously excited that I may be able to work with a MW after all.

That's very exciting! I've got my fingers crossed for you that this group will be just what you are looking for. :