Thanks for the input! Next time dd says, "I'll think about it" I'll say, "Just don't think too long or I'll choose for you". As for the food, I usually do end up serving her what we are having for "meals", but she does snack a lot too, so I don't worry too much if she doesn't eat it.
Something I do have to work on is giving in after I've said "No". Lately, I often find myself saying "No" to a request or asking dd not to do something, then giving up when she does it anyway. I don't want to deal with her having a fit, but she doesn't do it with dh because he doesn't let her. If he says it, she knows he means it. I just feel so mean sometimes, but I know it's for the best & she needs me to give her some limits. A lot of the problem is probably that most of the things really aren't worth enforcing, so I shouldn't be saying anything in the first place, like wanting to wear her new shoes in the house or taking her socks off. If she wants to get cold feet, that's her problem.
What are your thoughts on this?