Later Starters Support thread - Page 2

[Ms.Doula]

Gabriel Peed on the toilet this am... Im soooo absolutely thrilled!!! One less diaper is a GOOD THING!! My son is so great! We tried 2 other times today, once he peed on me : an the other he never went... But thats OK He is 8 mos. old & HE PEED ON THE TOILET THIS MORNING!!!

[beachrock]

Anyone else doing this part-time?

DD is 9 months, and despite knowing about EC and wanting to try it, I was too overwhelmed with the rest of my life (DH in law school, moving to NYC and back this summer, DS nursing non-stop, plus the usual SAHM workload). Finally about 6 weeks ago I started having DD pee in the toilet first thing in the morning, since I noticed she always went right after waking up. Well, now she goes all night without peeing, or if she wakes up and cries, I take her to the toilet, let her pee, and then we go back to bed (this has happened only twice). She doesn't sleep in a diaper anymore, and I am thrilled about that. So is she, she hates diapers!
This week a couple of times when I changed her (cloth) dipe she was dry, so I figured she might be ready to pee. I took her to the toilet, and sure enough she peed. Now I usually take her to the bathroom when I change her to give her the chance to pee if she wants. Today after her nap she peed, and as I was about to take her off the toilet, she started fussing at me, so I waited. Then she pooped too. I was completely overjoyed!!
So I'm not full-time ECing, I guess. But this week she seems to really be more aware that I'm trying to help her stay dry/clean. Anyway, even one less diaper each day is less laundry for me, so it's a win-win. Plus DS is so cute, he comes running saying "I want to watch her pee in the toilet!!" He thinks it's great, and tells his sister how smart she is when she's done.

[beachrock]

Wanted to add: DD definitely is letting me know with little cry when she wants to poop, and we've caught her last three poops in the toilet (she's one of those bfed babies who poops only once or twice a week). But I have watched and watched her for a sign that she needs to pee - nothing so far. Is there anything I can do to encourage her to let me know?

[LessTraveledBy]

I am new in this discussion... Our dd is 8 mo and I started to part-time ec about a month ago. I had noticed that she pooped a lot every morning right after getting up, often waking us up by being very unhappy before going in her diaper. So, those poops are very easy to catch by just taking her on the potty right away.

Within a week of starting to ec, she started to wake up in the middle of the night, fussing terribly. She had never been like this before. I tried everything from cleaning her nose to finally putting her on the potty and noticed that she would make a big pee every time. It took me weeks to realize that she simply needed to pee. Lately she goes once every early morning between 4 and 7 am and the past two nights her diaper has been dry.

I am thrilled.. in a way... However, I must say I got a bit more than I had hoped for, as I don't exactly love getting up in the middle of night. I think I will need to try bringing the potty in the bedroom, instead of getting up and going to the bathroom.

This really is quite thrilling. Yesterday dd surprised a friend of mine by peeing and pooping on their toilet during our visit. She thought it was just amazing and very cute.

I look forward to reading how you all are doing...

[Siana]

Galen peed in the big toilet today

As I was saying earlier, I've cut back on EC quite a bit. I have now taken the approach of just tackling one phase at a time. My first focus is the pee just after waking up in the morning and after his nap. Since the beginning (over 2 weeks ago) he has been reluctant to use the big toilet despite me sitting with him, sometimes while I pee. Today he was alone on the toilet (facing backwards with his bum on the seat) supported by me. I sang to him to keep him from getting bored and then after a few minutes he peed.

I do know that DS definately has bladder control. Everytime I have tried to catch his pee mid-stream, I usually end up startling him (sudden movement and sound from me!) and he stops and then finishes a few seconds later. It's definately deliberate. He's too funny. I just need to stop startling him though!

Today I am dragging my DH to buy a potty for us. It's about time. I just hope to find a decent one at a decent price. I also hope that DS will be more interested in the small potty because it will be more suited to his dimensions. May be I'll get a toilet seat insert too.

[Pen]

We have cut back on ec too, I guess. All my luck is gone. We went from catching all to catching none and now it's better but I'm still discouraged. I'm cold, wet and doing lots of laundry.
I know that she is teething more this week and trying to walk by herself so maybe that's part of it. She has some element of control because she stops when I point out when she is peeing (usually on the carpet) or when I take her to the potty. I think she is startled out of her concentration and I fear that perhaps I have done something to make her not want to use the potty. I also don't know when she's going as often as I used to know.
Perhaps I should just focus on one part of the day, like morning when she's more predictable and put her back into a diaper at dinner time when we are most out of synch?
One thing we are definately not doing is using the toliet topper. Now, I think the best thing for her is to sit on my lap either on the toliet or on the bowl. I think that gives her a sense of security that she needs.
Anybody know what I might have done or what I might do differently.

[Siana]

Originally Posted by Pen

...I fear that perhaps I have done something to make her not want to use the potty.

I fear this too. I wonder if I'm making too big a deal of his elimination that he gets turned off from doing it in the toilet. I'm trying hard not to let my fears take over, and to just go with the flow and not expect much.

Pen, your DD is going through the huge developmental stage of learning to walk. I've heard this is a difficult time to start EC because your baby's body is trying hard to develop in other ways. I've also heard that babys sometimes go through EC strikes during the time they are learning to walk. Teething is also another cause for distraction. Hang in there and may be after all this major development is over, you DD will be as predictable as before with EC

[Pen]

Thanks for the support, Siana. I'm thinking we should move to the laundry room to save travel wear on the carpet. .

[vegaenglit]

im worried about lucien starting and stopping peeing.

im still figuring out lucien's signals. he seems to be more of a "time" baby. today i brought him to the potty after his nap (2 hours and didnt pee the entire time). he started peeing on my lap and when i went to move him he stopped. then when i set him down, he started again.

it seems like if i "catch" him and move him he will stop and hold it until i leave him alone again. i guess hes learning to control those muscles, im just concerned that it might be bad in some way.

any way to work with this?

[Pen]

Hi vegaenglit, I don't know if this is a good way to handle it or not but I had the same problem. I got a lap pad (something waterproof) and put a diaper, wash cloth or towel on top of it and just let her pee there. This way I could hold her and gently tell her what she was doing. I didn't have to worry about carpets, clothes or jumping up to bring her anywhere. Sometimes when I would see her start and jump to put her on my lap, she'd stop of course. But then, I'd let her nurse for a while and she'd relax and pee on my lap. A couple of days later, I got a bowl and kept it between my legs to warm it up and let her pee over it (without letting her touch the plastic because that freaked her out). This always got my lap wet but she peed and wasn't freaked out. A fews days later, she got used to the bowl and now will usually not mind her legs touching the bowl it if it's not too cold. I still take her to the toliet with me every time I go and have her straddle me and nurse (so much for icky nursing in the bathroom) and she goes sometimes. Do you think this might work for your situation?

[vegaenglit]

Pen - thanks for the advice. i usually have a cloth diaper with me. baby steps. im in such a rush to "catch" it that im probably stressing too much. hes definately not a fan of the BBLP (or being held over the big toilet.) i think im going to go back to just trying to identify elimination before worrying about getting it in the right receptcle.

[blessed with boys]

I am going to watch ds tomorrow and see if I can pick up on any of his signs. I'm scared! I'll most and let you know how it goes....BTW he's 6 months old.
Jackie

[Amari's Mama]

Hey ladies... I am contemplating starting EC with DD... she is 17 months... I guess it will end up being toilet training, but I am hoping that it will be much more about communication rather than training.

Anyway, check out this Yahoo! Group for tips on late-starting for ECing... I saw alot of your questions discussed there.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/IPTLateStarters/

Have you read Laurie Bouckes book Infant Potty Training? The basic principles remain the same whether starting from birth or later. She also gives some good tips on her website http://www.white-boucke.com/reviews/latestarters.html

Blessings,
Amy

[Siana]

So I believe we should FINALLY be getting our little potty sometime this week (in the mail) *fingers crossed*

DS has been very interesting off late. Every second day he gets up in the middle of the night with toots and then poops. Odd timing if you ask me but that's what works for him. How I wished I had a BBLP for those nights. I think it's because he's distracted during the day, saves most of his feeding for at nigh and by then the pressure builds up so much that he can't wait till morn (like he used to).

Aside from that DS is not signing anymore but I figure it's just a phase. He seems to like the idea of still peeing in his diaper (except if it's not very absorbant) but he always tells me when he has peed (mostly by simply ripping his diaper off). It's positive anyway, so that's what counts right.

The one thing that bugs me is that he thinks it's great peeing on the carpet. I'll have him on the wood floors for a long time, and then just when he wants to pee, he'll conviniently go to the living room and pee on the carpet! I'm trying to look at it positively in that that's his code for wanting to pee!

[nichole]

i think late ec is great. once they get a little older they become much more resistant to your ideas. you might still be in the window of opportunity where they will use the potty just b/c you want them to. won't be much longer before they say no to everything! it is less diapers and it will help them be comfortable with the potty.

[Pen]

I just feel like celebrating!!
After spending time with family that does things 180 degrees the other way, I need to say 'yah' for doing what we're doing because no one else is going to.

We are down to an average of one prefold per 24 hours!! My baby is HAPPY and DRY and CLEAN. I know she is glad when we understand what she is trying to tell us. And I feel so good about being able to take care of her needs.

[Amari's Mama]

Congrats Pen on your success! It's so great to be communicating with your DC about this... we communicate with them about what they want to eat, play with, etc... why not about elimination!

[happybusymomof2]

I started EC'ing my DS right around 7-8 mos. He picked it up pretty easily and by the time he was 18 mos, we were down to just 1-3 accidents a day, sometimes none. Actually by around 10-12 mos, he's learned to wait until we're home to poop or pee. All his poops went in the potty as he developed his own routine. But then I put him in daycare and that kinda messed things up. He was only there for 5 weeks and he "re-learned" to poop and pee in his diaper. I've not been able to get him back on his old EC'ing practices since I've been kinda preoccuppied with a new baby, but he still knows to go in the potty. Now it's just a matter of getting him in the right mood to go as he's getting pretty resistant and wanting to do things his way. He's 20 mos old too.

Janice

[Siana]

So we got our BBLP just last week, but of course DS is past the "window of opportuity" to introduce it. I know another will come up, but I've been building myself up so much in anticipation of the BBLP that now it's here, I really want him to use it. This sucks, but I also know pushing him might just have negative repercussions. It's so hard.

Anyhoo, I tried a couple of time to see if he's sit on it... for fun. Both times he stiffened up and started wimpering a bit. I stopped immediately. I've caught poop in there on a few occassions, but that was more like he already pooped, it was hanging there, I put him over or on potty and it fell. The other day I knew he was going to poop so I tried the potty but he got stiff at the knees resisting me putting him down, but then had a huge poop in the potty (while hovering over it).

I don't want to push him in to this potty thing, but man it's frustrating sometimes. I know he'll get it eventually, but it's the silly built up anticipation that's getting in my way. I need to talk about it get it out of my system, so please bear with me!

I think DS feels insecure and vulnerable on the potty. The times he has tried to sit on his own, he doesn't know how to do it. My DD shows him but I can just tell he doesn't really trust this brand new contraption! I need to really lay off the potty until he shows interest on his own (which he has now and again, but not enough to actually trust it yet). I think it's also a fear of the potty moving as he's sitting, and then landing splat on the floor. What do other people do to keep the potty securely in place on a wood floor? Or should I just move it to a carpeted area, or have a non-slip mat under the potty? Suggestions are welcome.

Oh and for those times we've caught something in the potty, DS helps me take it to the toilet, I dump the contents in and then he's allowed to flush. I've recently established the rule that the person whos "stuff" is in the toilet gets to flush. We had the same rule with DD when she was younger, and she took the initiative to start pooing in the toilet. I need to give DS more of an opportunity to do that.

Thanks for letting me vent and I think I should be fine laying off the potty after this

[Pen]

Hello there, Siana! I like that thing about who gets to flush.

DD gets excited when after using the potty she gets to see where it goes. If we take too long, she gets anxious and starts pointing us in the right direction. Then we sing a song to the tune of "wheels on the bus go round and round" it's: "put your pee in the pot and wash your hands, wash your hands....dump the pee in the toliet and wash etc."

Okay, so I thought that if I hung out here long enough I would not have to ask. But I guess this one passed me by. What is a BBLP?
About the unbendable baby syndrome: I though I'd share something to give you encouragment.
DD had a time or two when she would stiffen up and wouldn't bend. I really didn't mind but if I knew something was coming right away, I would let her stand and pee over the toliet if that was comfortable for her (sometimes she didn't want the toilet or the pot at all). That meant splashes usually but not always. Otherwise I would just say "okay, all done. no pee pee." and move away from the toliet.

She did go back to the toliet and the pot and even the travel pot. She still does not like being held over a toilet but will about 25% of the time. I'm sure before the year is out we'll have another 'stiff baby, no pot' week or two. So hang in there!!

As far as the non-slip mat...??? We'll be there soon, I think. We use a pot for the lap not the floor so I don't have experience there (DS used the toliet - no pot) I think something like a door mat would be okay? or a kitchen mat? Perhaps a brightly colored mat would lure your little over to see what all the excitement is about?

BTW - anyone irked over baby talk's 'laugh it off' column? DH has forbidden me to read any of that stuff but I forgot to listen.